Re: Daughter getting band, Mom crying about it

[Guest guest]

Hi Nina,

it does get a lot easier. Just try and keep a happy face so your

daughter doesn't pick up on your mood. Tell people with a smile why

she is wearing it. You'll get responses like, " well my 5 year old had

a flat spot and his head is fine now:. But you'll also get responses

like " I wish my mom had done that for me " , or " I wish I knew about

that when my child was young " or " my nephew has one of those " . Most

people are really very nice about it. Sometimes they think it is a

really cool way to keep babies from bumping their heads :-)

My daughter has always been a happy, healthy baby who wasn't the

greatest sleeper. It was the same in the band or out. Her big smile

usually distracted most people from her band. Also I put her name in

stickers (even though our band had a pattern) and people would often

just say " Hi Sydney " . And if you do need to complain about stupid

comments you can always do it here!

-christine

sydney, almost 3 yrs, starband grad

>

> I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my daughter

> heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a few

> months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was to

> stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just

> joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are mostly

> of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get the

> pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her adorable

> attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other parents

> who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.

>

> Nina Segal

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Nina

Let me tell u something...U must be very lucky to have been able to

treat your daughter.I am mother of 14 month old son with plagio,i am

from India,unfortnately there is no treatment option available in

India..here i am knowing there is treatment option available in

US ...but cannot afford that much money to treat my son.people here ask

me why my son is head abnormal..it breaks my heart..I dont know for how

many year to come i have to hear this...I have been passive reader of

this group for sometime...and see people asking whether to band the

child or not ....or what people would think about their helmet..

Mom of this group...please be happy that you are able to treat your kids

>

> I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my daughter

> heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a few

> months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was to

> stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just

> joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are mostly

> of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get the

> pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her

adorable

> attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other parents

> who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.

>

> Nina Segal

>

[Guest guest]

Nina,

It was very hard on me too. My son is 4.5 months and he's been in his

band for a week now. We go in for our first adjustment tomorrow and

I'm hoping we're making progress.

I was very concerned about what people would think too. The daycare

that he is in has never had a child with a band and none of the

teachers I spoke to knew anything about them or had ever taken care of

a child in one. I was worried that other parents would ask them what

was " wrong " with my kid and because of their privacy policies they

wouldnt be able to answer, so they'd leave the parents to speculate

(which is far worse than reality). Anyway, so I made up a flyer to

put in the boxes of parents in the infant classes, just in case

they're curious. It's got my son's picture on it in his band (he's

really cute in it) and I wrote it in his voice. I posted it in the

files folder, if you'd like to take a look. It's under

files/handouts/flyer.jpg.

But rest assured, it's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be. I

honestly dont think about it much anymore when I'm out with him and

it's only been a week.

If you're really apprehensive about going out with him the first time,

try to find another mommy in your area with a child in a band and plan

to go out together! I'm sure any one of us would love to do that for

another parent going thru this, because we've all had to take that

plunge. Where do you live?

Aimee

>

> I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my daughter

> heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a few

> months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was to

> stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just

> joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are mostly

> of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get the

> pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her adorable

> attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other parents

> who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.

>

> Nina Segal

>

[Guest guest]

Aimee, that is a wonderful idea to have a "plagio band buddy" to go out with.

My son was banded for 4 1/2 months, and I was devestated when I found out he would need to be banded, it broke my heart. But honestly, the day after he got it off, I went to pick him up at daycare and they were holding him right in front of me and I couldn't find him. You get so used to your child in his/her band that it's just an everyday part of your routine.....I didn't recognize my perfectly round headed son.......it was amazing to me.

It is hard to get used to, and some people will stare, some people will ask, some people will pretend like it''s not there.....and than some will just love your child for who she/he is and it won't matter.

This board was incredably helpful to me when my son was banded.....you are not alone, even though it feels like it sometimes.

-

Mom to , Starbanded 4 1/2 months, currently 27 mths with a 9 mth old brother who has a LARGE round head

"In the depths of winter, I finally found there was in me an invincible summer."

From: aimeedavid2006 <aimeedavid2006@...>Subject: Re: Daughter getting band, Mom crying about itPlagiocephaly Date: Thursday, November 6, 2008, 2:35 PM

Nina,It was very hard on me too. My son is 4.5 months and he's been in hisband for a week now. We go in for our first adjustment tomorrow andI'm hoping we're making progress. I was very concerned about what people would think too. The daycarethat he is in has never had a child with a band and none of theteachers I spoke to knew anything about them or had ever taken care ofa child in one. I was worried that other parents would ask them whatwas "wrong" with my kid and because of their privacy policies theywouldnt be able to answer, so they'd leave the parents to speculate(which is far worse than reality). Anyway, so I made up a flyer toput in the boxes of parents in the infant classes, just in casethey're curious. It's got my son's picture on it in his band (he'sreally cute in it) and I wrote it in his voice. I posted it in thefiles folder, if you'd like to take a look. It's

underfiles/handouts/ flyer.jpg. But rest assured, it's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be. Ihonestly dont think about it much anymore when I'm out with him andit's only been a week. If you're really apprehensive about going out with him the first time,try to find another mommy in your area with a child in a band and planto go out together! I'm sure any one of us would love to do that foranother parent going thru this, because we've all had to take thatplunge. Where do you live?Aimee>> I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my daughter > heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a few > months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was to

> stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just > joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are mostly > of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get the > pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her adorable > attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other parents > who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.> > Nina Segal>

[Guest guest]

Hi--

I just wanted to tell you that I take your words to heart. I read a

previous post of yours when you mentioned that you live in India and

are seeking treatment options out of the country. It made me realize

that I need to feel blessed that I have the option of treatment right

here in the city where I live. As hard as this all has been, there

are positives to focus on. It just doesn't seem fair that everyone

doesn't have access to good treatment for these conditions. You and

your son are in my thoughts and I wonder if anyone at all on the

boards might have any suggestions for you (ie. any programs that

would help to pay for travel to get medical treatment, etc.).

Merrick, 4-months, 11mm plagio and tort, getting DOC band tomorrow

> >

> > I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my

daughter

> > heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a

few

> > months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was

to

> > stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just

> > joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are

mostly

> > of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get

the

> > pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her

> adorable

> > attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other

parents

> > who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.

> >

> > Nina Segal

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Nina,

You've gotten a lot of great responses, but I just wanted to say

that we have all felt the same way you are feeling right now. I even

would beat myself up for having those feelings, so I felt even worse at

times. But what I started to do was to just pretend like it didn't

bother me...it sounds silly, but I would take them everywhere in their

new head gear...never hinting that it bothered me in the slightest...

I even had their pictures with Santa with their helmets on... a lot of

moms might have taken them off for the pictures, but when they were

sitting in santa's lap it all became so clear... another mom came over

to tell me about her daughter... she'd worn a band as an infant, and

the mom wanted to give me words of encouragement... and then she said

that she admired what i was doing...? i didn't know what she meant...

she told me how she never took any pictures of her daughter in her band

so that she would never know that she had to wear it... and she said

that she admired my courage to put them out there without any care...

and that's when it hit me that I really didn't care any more what

anyone thought or might say about it... by " pretending " at first, it

really became my truth... and the response was only positive... so my

advice to you is to be proud of what you are doing to correct the

problem now, be proud that you are creating a better future for your

child...never be ashamed, be thankful that his condition is one that

can be corrected and will hopefully never affect him later in life.

This group has been a great support for me and I know it will be for

you as well. Welcome to your new journey, and may God bless.

Shenelle

Katy, TX

>

> I am going through a hard time emotionally dealing with my daughter

> heading the band. I know its the best for her, and its only for a few

> months but I can't help how I am feeling. At first my thought was to

> stay at home with her, so no one would see her with it on. I just

> joined MOMS group and started to make friends. My concerns are mostly

> of what others (adults and kids) will think. I don't want to get the

> pity looks and the stupid questions. I'm also afraid that her

adorable

> attitude will change. I would really like to hear from other parents

> who have gone through this, so I know what to expect.

>

> Nina Segal

>