Guest guest Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Horizon Family Solutions, LLC You're receiving this email because of your relationship with Horizon Family Solutions, LLC. Please confirm your continued interest in receiving email from us. You may unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive our emails. Welcome to Family Solutions News & Views November 2007 Happy Thanksgiving All! This Month's Articles 8 CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES The Use of Dialectical Behavioral Strategies in Wilderness Treatment Knowing Your Teen What Do You Do When Your Adolescent Is Arrested and/or Expelled from School? What if your child is a runaway? Combat Truancy What is Parental Alienation? TEEN GAMBLING 2nd ANNUAL CONTEST! This one is simple!! Can you write a monthly theme for our 2008 Family Solutions newsletter? One specific subject for each of the 12 issues. Just think of subjects that parents would like to know more about, write them down and send it our way. The best monthly theme for 2008 (must contain one for each month of the year) wins a cash prize of $100 or a beautiful gift basket from Harry & of the same value. Rules: Themes must adhere to the nature of this newsletter(family, parents, etc.) and involve one topic per theme per month. Send your entry to Dore@... It must be sent in the body of an email, with the header " Theme Contest " . One entry per person. The last day to submit your entry is December 5, 2007. Contest open to everyone except me, and last year's winner - Jenna enwick - because that just wouldn't be very fair, would it? So - get writing! GuidingTeens.com TroubledTeenhelp.com =================== Q. Will my child need to go onto a residential program after the wilderness experience, or can they come straight home? ~ Lynn J., Bethesda, land A: This really depends on the particular child. When your adolescent has serious academic, behavioral and/or emotional challenges, it may be necessary to enroll them in a longer term residential boarding school. However, many children respond extremely well to this short-term therapeutic approach and will do well when they return home. In such cases, it is generally advisable to continue with an at-home support program and/or local therapeutic services. When you are just not sure what may be best for your adolescent and your family, a student assessment may help. Consistency in treatment, goals, and family work is essential as a best next step. There are also four categories of which may need to be addressed. They are behavioral, educational, medical and psychological. Horizon Family Solutions works with many families who choose not to use the full services of an Educational Consultant, and instead use the option of a Student Assessment Consultant. This extensive assessment provides recommendations for the type of continued treatment and support that will enhance the chances of a successful outcome. Bringing in someone from " the outside " can often result in greater clarity and increased options to deal with a question or a challenge regarding your adolescent's next steps. This is a common concern. This is an important step and decisions made depend in large part on the goals you may have for your adolescent's future. The scope of our services is tailored to each individual family and adolescent. We do not accept any type of compensation from any program or school and are not associated with any corporation or groups of programs and schools. We are independent. Your child's best interest and long term outcome is our priority. To schedule a student assessment, please call: Office: 541-312-4422 or 866-833-6911 or click here for more information. =========================== Our Newsletter Sponsors Academy at Canyon Creek Helps girls and boys ages 13 - 17 reach their full potential and return to home, school, and the community. Aspiro Adventure Therapeutic Wilderness - Our expeditions are designed to inspire self discovery and character development through challenge and adventure At the Bend Learning Center we help you understand your child's challenges as well as their strengths and help them discover effective learning strategies 1st Class Adolescent Services - Licensed by NY Dept. of State / Bonded / Insured Kim Arnsparger M.Ed. - She understands the challenges a child can face and is committed to the importance of helping children achieve their potential. Eagles Nest School for Boys - Healing for Troubled Boys and Their Families Quick Links... The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) Custom Educational Loans, Inc. - Funding for specialized education slaw - Get the current issue of the Special Ed Advocate newsletter for excellent advocacy advice from Suzanne Whitney Heath, Research Editor for slaw Connect with Kids - Community for parents My deepest appreciation to everyone who has enjoyed The Thief of Sacred and recommended the book to others- I'm honored by all your support and encouragement. Thank you!! - Author Lloyd Hunt Foundation - Supporting At-Risk Youth Through Outdoor Experiential Education Welcome to the redesigned webportal of ResourcesNOW! Agents are registered with the California Trustline Registry and have completed F.B.I. background checks Showing Your Teen That You Care When it comes to dealing with your teenager, what is your biggest concern? If your approach is anything like the hundreds of parents whose questions I have fielded over the years, your primary concern is probably how to show your teenager that you care. If your teen is not convinced that you truly care or misunderstands your efforts, you need to read the first issue of our new series Fitting The Pieces Showing Your Teen That You Care. Other Recommended Reading Quick Links... Horizon Family Solutions - Crisis Intervention Services For Adolescents And Teenagers Who Need Success in Their Lives How to tell when your teen needs help - Troubled Teen Check List Articles of Interest News & Views Recommended Reading Press Releases Greetings! It's Good to Be the Grandparent We all remember how important the concept of privacy is when you're a teenager. From posting " Keep Out! " signs on your bedroom door to hiding your diary to pleading with your parents to leave you and your friends alone, part of growing up is individuating from your family. At the same time, I believe that teenagers need and want adult mentors and role models in their lives, whether it's a coach, parent, teacher, youth minister, youth worker, or friend of the family. Teens wanting their own space and being fiercely protective of it is normal. This is important to remember and balance with the responsibility of being a parent and your right to know what your teen is doing. I actually think you can find out more by asking about (instead of demanding to know) what your teen does. It's all about socializing. If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, teenagers-male or female-must be from Pluto. At least that's how it may feel sometimes. Teens speak a different language, dress in weird clothes, and have their heads perpetually wired to a wide array of audio/visual devices. They're also faced with very different challenges and problems than you were at their age. Your biggest concerns were probably making the baseball or basketball team and passing algebra or science. Today, teenage children are dealing with guns in the classroom and just saying " no. " Despite this seemingly huge gap between your experiences, experts say that grandparents can connect with their teenage grandchildren. Grandparents can be a voice of experience, love and reason, without the judgmental approach that colors so many interactions between teens and their parents. There's an advantage to being a grandparent. Grandparents don't feel the same urgency to mold a kid as parents do. Because of this position, they can serve as a sounding board, sympathetic ear, and trusted confidante to the teenagers in their life. Grandparents will probably have more time to sit and listen than a parent will, especially in a two-career family. Creating a good relationship with your teenage grandchild isn't much different from getting along with anyone of any age. One of the key things to remember is that teens are yearning for independence. The more authority figures crack down, the more they pull away. Don't take it for granted that you're a good conversationalist just because you can talk to your grandchild for hours on end; you need to be able to listen, too. Communication is very much a two-way street. In order to understand teenagers, you've got to understand what's going on with them. And that means asking questions and listening to the answers. Express interest in what they are doing, what music they're listening to, who they choose as friends, and what activities they're involved in. Though your grandchild may seem to belong to a different world to which you can't possibly relate, don't discount your ability to connect. When you approach them with sincere interest and maintain an open mind, you'll likely find teens are willing to share and are pleased at your interest. When you're involved in a three-way relationship-you, your child and your grandchild-things can get a little tricky. Experts say it's important for you to realize where your responsibilities as a grandparent stop and the parent's responsibilities begin. Keeping your distance doesn't mean you have to keep your mouth perpetually shut; it means you support your son's or daughter's role as a parent. You never want to undermine a parent's authority in front of their kid. When you have concerns about your grandchild's behavior or his parent's choices, bring them up with the parent in a non-confrontational manner, in private. Other taboos? Commenting in a negative manner on a parenting decision, or suggesting that your grandchild disregard what the parent has just decreed. Don't put the kid in the middle. When you do a good job relating to your grandchild, you may very well find yourself in the esteemed position of friend. That's terrific when things are going well, but what do you do when your seventeen-year-old granddaughter confides that she thinks she's pregnant, and then adds, " But don't tell Mom and Dad-they'll kill me! " ? Knowing when to keep secrets and when to break your silence can be a tough call, but your grandchild's emotional and physical safety takes priority over confidentiality. When it comes to any potential safety or health issue, there is no issue of confidentiality. If you're faced with one of these situations, let your grandchildren know they have a choice. They can break the news to their parents, or you'll do it. And if they force your hand, let them know upfront you're going to let their parents know. Despite the possible pitfalls, grandparenting a teen is a special role. Cherish it. You provide a sense of continuity and history. You can be a shoulder to cry on and you provide reassurance and comfort in a mixed-up and dangerous world. Best regards and Happy Thanksgiving, Dore E. Frances, M.A. HORIZON FAMILY SOLUTIONS Educational Consulting Serving Clients Locally and Nationally www.guidingteens.com Please be aware that information in this newsletter is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. 8 CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES - Part One - The Bully Every parent, every program, every counselor, every friend knows or has at least one - a bully, a clown, a Dear Abby, a golden child, a gossip, a phantom, a whiner, and an emotional train wreck. With kids who have different personalities, it is easy to accidentally reinforce their underlying challenging behaviors. The key to relating well with them is a targeted understanding of their coping strategies that is fueled by passionate curiosity. So over the next few months I am going to focus on eight classic challenging personalities. In some cases I will share an outcome that worked based on my experience with a particular adolescent. Most of us struggle to get our needs met, so it is not hard to imagine that kids who have challenging personalities are working double time. For each of the eight personalities, I am going to briefly define the behavior and it's impact. Then I will share the the typical ways in which they get labeled and have the challenge reinforced. For those without personal stories I will share some examples of what they need to get assistance. The Bully Behavior and its impact: Bullying can be obvious or subtle, and often happens just under the radar of adult awareness. The bully uses anger, fear, and intimidation - verbal and non-verbal - to get what he or she wants. This person can make a group a hazardous place, and requires a lot of energy, vigilance and wisdom to lead. Being cared for: Bullies don't typically experience warmth from others, or they push away what is offered in an attempt to find and leverage the other's agenda. Experiencing appreciation: In their own circles bullies may experience small amounts of admiration and respect. Sensing impact on others: Since bullies do not trust authority, they experience a twisted form of control and power. How the behavior is typically reinforced: Kids say most adults are oblivious to bullying behavior, or when we do see it, we meet it had-on with our own show of force. This usually makes things worse because that is just what the bully expects from others. Bullies are well acquainted with angry, distant and prideful adults. What bullies need: Bullying behavior is usually a sign of insecurity - Bullies need clear boundaries so you can ensure a safe environment for the other adolescents that are around them. Strong boundaries will also address the Bully's nagging insecurity - eventually, that will feel like love to her or him. However, this must be dine with fairness and respect. You must communicate that you see something worthwhile behind the bullying facade. Why Call Horizon Family Solutions The Use of Dialectical Behavioral Strategies in Wilderness Treatment By Meghan Flaherty, LCSW, SageWalk The Wilderness School in Oregon Teenagers are referred to wilderness therapy usually because they are not invested in changing behaviors that may be damaging their relationships with family and friends, harming their academic performance, and risking their health and safety. Many of these teens have undergone multiple unsuccessful interventions and treatment efforts at home but nothing seems to work. Individual therapy can bring up stressful emotions that further exacerbate their behaviors rather then alleviate them. These teens seldom have internal motivation for sobriety so drug and alcohol treatment is not always effective. And without a break from the negative cycle within the family, parenting skills or family therapy often times don't work as well. While Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) (Marsha Linehan 1993) has traditionally been used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder its emphasis on building one's commitment to change while enhancing effective coping skills fits perfectly with what students in wilderness therapy are lacking. DBT stresses the use of commitment strategies to build one's motivation for changing problem behaviors. The core skills taught in DBT; Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness can be incorporated neatly into the wilderness therapy model. The wilderness milieu provides a safe container for the teen to learn and practice these skills without further damaging their lives as well as is serves as a consistent reinforcer for the skills taught in DBT. The use of DBT strategies can increase a teens' motivation and commitment to change as well as increase their coping skills. DBT also provides an excellent structure for students to take accountability for problem behaviors through the use of chain analysis. In wilderness treatment chain analysis can be used with past problem behaviors (events leading up to placement) as well as current problem behaviors (incidents occurring presently in camp.) In doing the chain analysis teens begin to see for themselves what motivates their actions, what their vulnerabilities are, what consequences they have experienced because of these actions, and what coping skills they can implement at different points of intervention in order to decrease these behaviors and thus improve their relationships, their academics, their health, and their overall quality of life. Whether a student is going on to a structured environment such as a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center or is returning home to work with an individual therapist, family therapist, or outpatient chemical dependency program the use of DBT strategies will stabilize the teen with coping skills so that they will be able to tolerate the challenge of participating in stressful emotional work and will build their motivation and commitment to changing their lives for the better. Additionally, the use of DBT strategies within the wilderness model provides future therapists as well as parents a common language to understand what these teens have learned while in wilderness so they may better utilize and generalize this growth outside of the wilderness. SageWalk, the School for Troubled Teen Boys and Girls Knowing Your Teen by Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW Lame Questions, Lame Answers Your question, " How was school? " receives either a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders or a dull " Okay. " " What did you do with your friends tonight? " prompts a " Nothing " or a " Just hung out. " Attempts to engage your teen in conversation about her life often bring little success. Efforts at dialogue result in your performing a stand-up monologue. Knowing your teen, really knowing what's going on in her life can be a daunting task. Especially when she is withdrawing more from your company and spending all her free time with her friends -- in person, on the phone, or exchanging instant messages on the computer. Unfortunately, most parents give up trying to stay connected to their teens, trying to know who they really are. As long as we know that they are doing well in school, drug-free, busy with extracurricular activities and not hanging around with convicted felons, we trust that we have enough information about their lives. We settle for that as knowing our teens. We settle for too little. When our teens tell us to stay out of their lives, we take it personally. Feelings hurt, we retreat from them at an intense, confusing time in their lives when they need us to stay very interested in who they are, what they think and where they are going. Showing a sincere interest in what your teenager thinks and cares about is the best approach to knowing him. This doesn't mean shameful confrontational inquisitions -- " Do you do drugs? Do your friends drink and drive? Are you having sex with Laurie? " Such questions are perceived as attacks and accusations. It's All in the Details The following suggestions will help you get to know your teen. Remember, it's all in the details: Academics Replace your usual, ho hum " How's school? " with specific questions based on knowing the details of his academic life. Find out about the courses he's taking, which ones interest him and which ones bore him. Ask who his favorite and most disliked teachers are and why they hold these distinctions. Keep up with his homework assignments, term papers and tests. Look at his textbooks so that you can talk with him about what he's studying. Ask questions like, " How's your research coming along on your Viet Nam term paper for World History? Do you think your English Lit test this Friday will be multiple choice or essays? " Extracurricular Activities Rather than again just asking, " How was football practice? How's the play rehearsal coming along? " find out more about these activities. More knowledge of what they're doing will result in questions like, " Are you going to run the football more than pass this Saturday because your offensive line is so much physically stronger than theirs? Are you and sounding better in the duet you sing in the second act? " Teen Culture Who is your teen's favorite musical group? Listen to their songs and ask her what makes these her favorite groups -- their lyrics, harmonies, rhythms? What TV shows does she enjoy? Ask her if you may watch these programs with her once in a while. Ask what appeals to her about these shows -- realistic portrayals of teens and families, offbeat humor, particular characters? What are her top five videos and why would she recommend them to her friends? What does she think about tattoos and body piercings? Has she heard of any kids who got them and now wish they hadn't? What brand names in clothing are popular and which ones are uncool? Do kids feel pressured to wear only these clothes? Social Life Ask how many cliques there are in his school? More in middle school than in high school? What defines these different cliques? What determines how kids become popular? What does he think of the " popular group? " Get to know his friends. Treat them with warmth and respect. Invite them to dinner and to some family get-togethers. Make your home a welcoming place for your teen's friends. Take his love life seriously. Never tell him he's too young to have romantic feelings for someone. Ask your teens what qualities they find most attractive in their girlfriends/boyfriends. To know who your teens are and who they are becoming, you must pay attention to what matters to them and show a genuine interest in all aspects of their lives. They need to develop their private, individual lives apart from you -- that's normal and healthy. But, they also need you to remain deeply connected to them, loving them even as they tell you to leave them alone. They need that open and consistent connection, especially when they might not be able to tell you so. More on:Surviving the Teen Years More: Articles of Interest What Do You Do When Your Adolescent Is Arrested and/or Expelled from School? It's one of those phone calls you hope you never get - the one from the police station telling you that your teen is in trouble or the one from school saying your child has been suspended pending an expulsion hearing - or both! If your child has been arrested, he or she can either be cited and released or detained at a juvenile detention facility. If your child is in custody, the District Attorney must file the petition within 48 hours of the time the minor is detained excluding weekends and holidays. The law requires strict compliance, otherwise the minor is entitled to be released while his case is pending. If your child is in custody, his or her first court date is called a detention hearing. At the detention hearing the juvenile referee or juvenile judge will make a determination on whether to continue to detain your child pending adjudication of the charges. The juvenile referee or juvenile judge will have input from the juvenile probation department, as well as from the juvenile deputy district attorney and juvenile defense attorney. At the juvenile detention hearing your child's attorney will enter a plea admitting or denying the petition. Most attorneys will deny the petition pending evaluation of the states case. If your child is detained, he or she has a right to a speedy trial to take place within 15 court days of the arraignment. If your child is not in custody, the speedy trial requires an adjudication date within 30 calendar days. If your child is not in custody, his first court date is called an arraignment. Your child's attorney will often enter a denial of the petition and set a pretrial and a court date. The pretrial date is set up so the attorneys of both parties can discuss a possible resolution to the case and to discuss other outstanding discovery issues. If your child is in custody, this must be set up the week following the arraignment unless time is waived. In other words the pretrial date or even the court trial date, can be set at a much later date if your child's attorney and your child agree to a later date. If your child is not in custody, his/her pretrial must generally be scheduled two to three weeks after the arraignment unless time is waived. Many juvenile judges participate in a discussion of a resolution though a private conference in the judges chambers. When a juvenile judge sets the case for " adjudication, " he or she is setting it for a trial. Unlike adult court, your child is not entitled to a jury trial. In lieu of twelve jurors, the juvenile court trials are done by a judge or commissioner who acts as both judge and trier of fact. Therefore it is very important that you have a lawyer that is familiar with the juvenile court proceedings and the juvenile court judges. Your child has very similar rights as adults with some exceptions. Your child has to obey his or her parents, attend school, and obey all laws.Inform your child not to make any statements until attorney has been consulted with. Any statement made by your child to either probation or police can be used against your child in the juvenile court proceeding. When your child is facing a school expulsion hearing, you should consider retaining a lawyer who specializes in handling school juvenile expulsion hearings.Your child is entitled to a hearing to determine whether he or she should be expelled. The hearing is required to be hold within 30 school days. If your child is expelled, your child has the right within 30 calendar days following the decision of the governing board to expel, to file an appeal to the county board of education. Colleges are getting harder and harder to get into.For that particular reason, it is a good idea to avoid any expulsion record. Horizon Family Solutions has years of experience and knowledge dealing with adolescents and high-risk troubled teens as well as the juvenile justice and legal system and can help the family in assessing the circumstances and making the most informed and knowledgeable choices. This information should not be construed to be formal legal advice. This is educational information only and is not intended to offer legal advice. Nothing herein is intended to constitute a guarantee, warranty or prediction regarding the outcome of your legal matter. Every case is different and outcomes will vary depending on the unique facts and legal issues of your case. What if your child is a runaway? Notify the police and file a missing person's report. In our culture, running away has often been glorified in movies, TV and books, as if it were an adventurous American tradition of seeking a better life. The reality is much more sobering. In most cases, children are not running toward a specific new situation but rather are running away from existing problems - and thus may be issuing a loud cry for help. Most children who run away and are reported to the police as missing are between ages 13 and 15. However, some younger children threaten to, or actually do, leave home. Do they have any distinguishable marks such as tattoos, multiple piercings, birthmarks or other marks? Make a list. If an ex-spouse exists, contact them to inform them of the child's disappearance and to verify that the child has not found refuge with them. Keep records of all details of the investigation and stay in touch with authorities while your child is missing. Call the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000. Locate the most recent picture you have of them. The National Runaway Switchboard operates a 24-hour confidential hot line for teens and their families. Services include: crisis intervention, information and referrals, and the Home free program in partnership with Greyhound Lines, Inc. Staff and volunteers will help you process the situation and give you support. Utilize the National Runaway Switchboard Message Relay Service. Leave a message with staff and volunteers for your child to pick up confidentially by calling the hotline. They can also leave a message for you. Tell others they are missing. Let them know you're concerned and ask for their help and support. Posters can help when they are still in the area, or contact the news desk of your local television station or newspaper. Write down a description of what they had on when you last saw them. Check any records. Look for clues about their whereabouts in the phone bill, e-mail activity, cell phone / pager records, credit card activity, bus or airline dockets, bank statements, employment records and their computer. Visit their school. Talk to the administration, security officers, teachers, counselors, and their classmates for any information that might be useful. Install Caller ID or other tracing methods. Ask for help. Could your child have been abducted? Do you need help distributing posters nationwide? The National Runaway Switchboard can provide you with national and local organizations that can help. Take care of yourself. This is a difficult time, and you don't have to deal with it alone. Turn to people you know and trust for support. Not only do runaways leave anxious and worried parents behind, but they may enter a world of gangs, drugs, prostitution, AIDS, malnutrition and truancy. They are quite vulnerable and at a much higher risk of becoming involved in early sexual behavior, sexual exploitation, or alcohol and other drug use. They may end up living on the street, in a homeless shelter or in jail. Some children run simply because they are looking for a good time. Impulsively and without planning, they will flee with a friend or two, seeking the thrill of life on the run. Often these children have already experienced various difficulties, perhaps conduct problems or substance abuse. News & Views Combat Truancy Problem of Truancy in America's Communities Truancy is the first sign of trouble;the first indicator that a young person is giving up and losing his or her way. When young people start skipping school, they are telling their parents, school officials and the community at large that they are in trouble and need help if they are to keep moving forward in life. Research data tells us that students who become truant and eventually drop out of school put themselves at a long term disadvantage in becoming productive citizens. High school dropouts, for example, are two and a half times more likely to be on welfare than high school graduates. High school dropouts are almost twice as likely to be unemployed as high school graduates. In addition, high school dropouts who are employed earn much lower salaries. Students who become truant and eventually drop out of high school too often set themselves up for a life of struggle. Truancy is a gateway to crime. High rates of truancy are linked to high daytime burglary rates and high vandalism. During a recent sample period in Miami more than 71 percent of 13 to 16 year-olds prosecuted for criminal violations had been truant. In Minneapolis, daytime crime dropped 68 percent after police began citing truant students. In San Diego, 44 percent of violent juvenile crime occurs between 8:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. While no national data on the extent of truancy exists, we know that in some cities unexcused absences can number in the thousands each day. In Pittsburgh, for example, each day approximately 3,500 students or 12 percent of the pupil population is absent and about 70 percent of these absences are unexcused. In Philadelphia, approximately 2,500 students a day are absent without an excuse. In Milwaukee, on any given school day, there are approximately 4,000 unexcused absences. Combating truancy is one of the first ways that a community can reach out quickly to a disaffected young person and help families that may be struggling with a rebellious teenager. Parents play the fundamental role in the education of their children. This applies to every family regardless of the parents' station in life, their income, or their educational background. Nobody else commands greater influence in getting a young person to go to school every day and recognizing how a good education can define his or her future. For families and schools to work together to solve problems like truancy, there must be mutual trust and communication. Many truancy programs contain components which provide intensive monitoring, counseling and other family strengthening services to truants ants and their families. Schools can help by being " family-friendly " and encouraging teachers and parents to make regular contact before problems arise. It is critical that parents of truant children assume responsibility for truant behavior. It is up to each community to determine the best way to create meaningful incentives for such parents to ensure that their children go to school. Truancy can be caused by or related to such factors as student drug use, violence at or near school, association with truant friends, lack of family support for regular attendance, emotional or mental health problems, lack of a clear path to more education or work, or inability to keep pace with academic requirements. In order to enforce school attendance policies, school officials should establish close linkages with local police, probation officers, and juvenile and family court officials. The U.S. Department of Justice provides federal funding to states to implement local delinquency prevention programs, including programs that address truancy. Many of these programs address risk and protective factors. A large portion of the funding has come from the Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act Formula Grants Program that is administered by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs. For more information contact the Juvenile Justice Clearinghouse, 1-800-638-8736. Current Press Releases What is Parental Alienation? Parental alienation involves the mental manipulation and/or bullying of children, which can result in destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent. Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprives children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. Parental Alienation can occur in intact families, but is mostly seen in separated and divorced families. Parents/guardians using alienation tactics to hurt the other 'target' parent have been compared to cult leaders. These people put their own hatred, anger and motives before their own childs emotional and mental health. In effect, they treat their children as nothing more than possessions, and ammunition to hurt the 'target' parent. Professionals argue whether Parental Alienation is a Syndrome or not. But they all agree that the problem exists and it's damaging to children, and can affect them into adulthood. Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a psychological condition most often observed in children affected by high conflict divorce and/or separation. It is one of the most damaging outcomes affecting children as a result of exposure to PA and hostile aggressive parenting. The most common symptom of children affected by PAS is their severe opposition to contact with one parent and/or overt hatred toward such parent when there is little and often, no logical reason to explain the child's behavior. The effects of PAS can last well into adulthood and may last for a lifetime with tragic consequences. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is different from Parental Alienation (PA). PAS refers to the behaviors of the child, whereas PA describes the abusive behaviors of a parent or caregiver. There are many debates as to whether PAS exists or is 'Junk Science'. During the crisis of divorce, most parents fear whether their children will emerge unscathed. Any reasonable and empathetic parent sincerely believes in the value of his or her children having a healthy relationship with both parents. Ideally, parents deliberately work on comforting and reassuring the children that no harm will come to them. At the same time, both try to strengthen their parent-child relationships without degrading the other parent or causing the children to feel divided loyalty. They encourage visits, talk kindly of the other parent in the children's presence, and set aside their own negative feelings to avoid causing the children distress. They are sensitive to the children's needs and encourage positive feelings toward the other parent. This outcome is the goal of not only the parents and children, but also the attorneys and judge involved in the case. However, any number of events can destroy the fragile balance of peace between parents. If this happens, an injured parent may seek comfort by aligning with the children, especially since be or she may feel threatened by the children's love for the other parent. A pattern of alienation usually begins without any malicious or conscious intent to harm or destroy the relationship between the other parent and the children. Though most parents mean well, they are often unaware of how subtle behaviors and comments can hurt the relationship between the children and the targeted parent. Alienating parents however learn how to manipulate and use their children to hurt the other parent on purpose, and with a vengeance. This can include anything from outright telling the children their other parent does not love them and does not want to be with them, to destroying and hiding communication from the other parent, to simply refusing to act as a 'parent' when a child does not want to spend time with, or is rude to, the other, and empowering their child to do as they wish. Some early signs of Parental Alienation: Children perceive one parent as causing financial problems of the other parent Children appear to have knowledge of details relating to the legal aspects of the divorce or separation Children show sudden negative change in their attitude toward a parent/guardian Children appear uneasy around target parent - they resort to " one word " answers and fail to engage openly in conversations as they previously have done Children are uncharacteristically rude and/or belligerent to target parent Access time is not occurring as agreed upon or court ordered - visitation is being unilaterally cut back by the other parent Hostile Aggressive Parent (HAP) parent undermines the other parent or speaks disparagingly about other parent in the presence of the children HAP parent starts making reference to other parent as being abusive and a risk to the children with no apparent good reason Allowing children to choose whether or not to visit a parent, even though the court has not empowered the parent or children to make that choice; Telling the children about why the marriage failed and giving them the details about the divorce or separation settlement; Refusing the other parent access to medical and school records or schedules of extracurricular activities; Blaming the other parent for not having enough money, changes in lifestyle, or other problems in the children's presence; Rigid enforcement of the visitation schedule for no good reason other than getting back at the other parent; False allegations of sexual abuse, drug and alcohol use or other illegal activities by the other parent; Asks the children to choose one parent over the other; Reminding the children that the children have good reason to feel angry toward their other parent; Setting up temptations that interfere with visitation; Giving the children the impression that having a good time on a visit will hurt the parent; Asking the children about the other parent's personal life; 'Rescuing' the children from the other parent when there is no danger. Simply put, the parents engaging in such behavior are un-fit, abusive parents, putting their own emotional needs before those of their children. Divorce Disputes Regarding Education Plans TEEN GAMBLING Defining Problem Gambling for the Adolescent Problem gambling for the adolescent is a level of gambling that creates problems for the gambler and his/her family. The level of gambling may interfere with personal relationships, with school or work, and may include diversion of funds needed for other purchases to the gambling activity. The adolescent may incur debts of substantial amounts to continue the activity. When you suspect that your teen is gambling, please get them immediate assistance. Compulsive Gambling is a progressive disease. Note: Gambling often begins as a family activity. Are you perpetuating unhealthy gambling habits? Motives for Adolescent Gambling Behavior Relaxation Enjoyment, Excitement, Entertainment Adventure, Attention Opportunity Negative Feelings Profile of the Typical Teen Gambler Successful Motivated Intelligent (IQ of 115-120 or higher) Competitive History of good or excellent performance at school or work. Alcohol or Substance abuse has not been a part of regular behavior No longer participates in hobbies or extracurricular activities Holds high expectations of self and others - perfectionist Bored easily in social settings - looks for new situations to keep up feelings. Indicators of Problem Gambling in Teens Withdraw from family Unexplained need for money multiple game viewing Valuables missing from home overly intensive watching Borrowing money from family and friends overly upset at game's conclusion Exaggerated display of money and other possessions interest in sports teams of which there were no previous allegiance Frequent cards / dice games at home Unusual interest in periodicals reporting sports results Missing from school or classes uncharacteristic usage of phone Tardy to school Gambling paraphernalia drop in school grades betting slips drop in other outside activities IOU's Excessive TV sports watching lottery tickets late night calls increased irritability or hostility phone charges to sports results call or 1-900 phone numbers Lying over whereabouts Programs for Students in Crisis We think every child can have, do, or be anything they can imagine. Horizon Family Solutions is widely recognized as a leader in the ethical and professional delivery of adolescent crisis intervention, educational consulting, student assessments, and special education advocacy. We serve clients locally, nationally and internationally. The mission of Horizon Family Solutions is to provide practical solutions and services to assist families and their students to engage in meaningful relationships with others, function independently and lead an improved quality of life. We assess with care and thoroughness your adolescent's challenges, goals, as well as their specific and unique needs. We assist families to create a plan for appropriate educational programs and treatment interventions, guiding them in identifying and considering the many factors that make up a successful long term plan. With all of this in mind, what do you want to accomplish for your family and your child? What is your " impossible " dream? What would you want for your child if you knew they would not fail? Horizon Family Solutions, LLC 1145 N.W. Knoxville Blvd. Bend, Oregon 97701 Telephone: (541) 312-4422 Fax: (541) 312-4420 www.guidingteens.com www.troubledteenhelp.com Forward email This email was sent to tccavanaugh@..., by dore@... Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribeT | Privacy Policy. Horizon Family Solutions, LLC | 1145 N.W. Knoxville Blvd. | Bend | OR | 97701 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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