Re: Question: Child caretaker with child showing delayed speech.

[Guest guest]

>

> I take care of a 37 mo. boy. He repeats everything I say or my kids

> say but he never initiates conversation or engages in 'make-believe'

> conversation when playing. I have to use gestures to get him to

> follow through with commands/request. He is a polly parrot with

> everything. I have spoken to the parent but she feels that he is

> normal and it is a matter of differences in our parenting styles. I

> discourage pointing or whining to get things. My youngest was dx

with

> apraxia last year so I am very familiar with language delays now.

> I've given the parent the book " The Late Talker " and the parent has

> stated she isn't going to pursue any course of action. I'm at a

loss

> of what to do to help this child. He also isn't potty trained and

> will go when you put him on the potty but otherwise just goes on

> himself and doesn't recognize when he has. As a childcare worker;

do

> any of you have suggestions of what to say to her to get her child

> evaluated? She is looking at putting him in a 3-4 y.o. preschool

> program but he is around two other 3 y.o. all day and doesn't

> communicate with them. I'm so frustrated because I feel so helpless

> and his mom refuses to help him. Any suggestions?

>

> Tara E.

>

Tara,

Jeanne here. If you would like you can give her my email address

jbmistletoe@... . My cell phone is 201-741-4035, discretely

give her the websites for cherab.org and speechville.com. Does the

child have autistic tendencies?

[Guest guest]

This is tricky. You have described my NT daughter to a T. Once in

preschool she still was not forthcoming with big conversations. That

did not come until nearly 4. Then it seemed to surge I thought.

However, we have since found celiac and an indication of metal and

viral issues. As we work on them she has become beyond her peers in

that department. So hard to know. Meanwhile, my son with the speech

stuf never repeated and when we finally found the bulk of causes of

his issues he spoke conversationally and what remains (and we hope it

is all that remains) is articulation stuff.

>

> I take care of a 37 mo. boy. He repeats everything I say or my kids

> say but he never initiates conversation or engages in 'make-believe'

> conversation when playing. I have to use gestures to get him to

> follow through with commands/request. He is a polly parrot with

> everything. I have spoken to the parent but she feels that he is

> normal and it is a matter of differences in our parenting styles. I

> discourage pointing or whining to get things. My youngest was dx

with

> apraxia last year so I am very familiar with language delays now.

> I've given the parent the book " The Late Talker " and the parent has

> stated she isn't going to pursue any course of action. I'm at a

loss

> of what to do to help this child. He also isn't potty trained and

> will go when you put him on the potty but otherwise just goes on

> himself and doesn't recognize when he has. As a childcare worker;

do

> any of you have suggestions of what to say to her to get her child

> evaluated? She is looking at putting him in a 3-4 y.o. preschool

> program but he is around two other 3 y.o. all day and doesn't

> communicate with them. I'm so frustrated because I feel so helpless

> and his mom refuses to help him. Any suggestions?

>

> Tara E.

>

[Guest guest]

Tara,

It is a tough situation when a parent is in denial. My 'ex' spent many, many

years in denial with Mark so I know firsthand how a person can diligently toss

off warning signs because they cannot acknowledge or see issues... their heart

will not let them admit the idea that their loved one is ailing.

I would give her the websites should she need them down the road but probably

the best thing for this child would be to attend regular pre-school as he will

definately get identified in that environment. His teachers should alert the

mom, and advocate appropriate testing.

Sometimes as a parent you need to hear it a few times to let the bad news sink

into your heart. Sometimes, as an 'outsider', all you can really do is to alert

the parent and give her encouragement with regards the good outcomes that result

with therapy. I find that if you pepper in your worries along with the

'positives' a child has then the parent will see that your intentions are good

but that you are indeed concerned for a child whom you care about.

Sounds like this child is not 'hearing'. Perhaps take him off of milk in the

care environment that you provide? At least this will help him in some measure.

Try to play a lot of classical music and stimulate his auditory channels in your

environment. In addition, you can have the kids play horsey (to crawl on their

hands & knees) or soldiers (to get them to crawl on their bellies and to do some

high-knee marching) which will further stimulate all of the kids' central

nervous systems and work their coordination abilities.

There is not a lot you can do when it's another persons child. Just do your

best with him and possibly list your observations down for the mom so that down

the road when she can no longer deny the situation, she has a history of what

her precious boy was doing.

Unfortunately, we can only live in denial with this stuff for so long before

reality smacks it in our faces. Because you have experience, you can 'see' it.

I too, can see various forms of ND in many, many children that I deal with. My

sister's boy walks around with 'shiners' all day long every day and has trouble

with his bowel movements. I beg her to take him off of milk to see if it helps.

She doesn't get it and probably will never get it. He is now experiencing

problems with auditory processing in the 3rd grade and I just 'know' that he is

having trouble digesting and keeping his ears clear because of food

intolerences. Still.... my own sister and we are very, very close.... will not

remove the milk products! Her son's issues are very slight and she really

doesn't 'see'. No aaah haaa light bulb moments going off in her brain!

Good luck with this. Be tactful, tender and always remember to say good things

about her son before you discuss the speech issues. That way she will 'get'

that you are not just picking on her boy and singling him out but that you

genuinely have his best interests at heart.

Janice

[sPAM][ ] Re: Question: Child caretaker with child

showing delayed speech.

>

> I take care of a 37 mo. boy. He repeats everything I say or my kids

> say but he never initiates conversation or engages in 'make-believe'

> conversation when playing. I have to use gestures to get him to

> follow through with commands/request. He is a polly parrot with

> everything. I have spoken to the parent but she feels that he is

> normal and it is a matter of differences in our parenting styles. I

> discourage pointing or whining to get things. My youngest was dx

with

> apraxia last year so I am very familiar with language delays now.

> I've given the parent the book " The Late Talker " and the parent has

> stated she isn't going to pursue any course of action. I'm at a

loss

> of what to do to help this child. He also isn't potty trained and

> will go when you put him on the potty but otherwise just goes on

> himself and doesn't recognize when he has. As a childcare worker;

do

> any of you have suggestions of what to say to her to get her child

> evaluated? She is looking at putting him in a 3-4 y.o. preschool

> program but he is around two other 3 y.o. all day and doesn't

> communicate with them. I'm so frustrated because I feel so helpless

> and his mom refuses to help him. Any suggestions?

>

> Tara E.

>

Tara,

Jeanne here. If you would like you can give her my email address

jbmistletoe@... . My cell phone is 201-741-4035, discretely

give her the websites for cherab.org and speechville.com. Does the

child have autistic tendencies?