Thoughts to Share

December 13, 2005

I wanted to take this night to share my thoughts with you all. My

journey began back in October 2004 when I got approved for this

surgery. My process seemed to breeze right by. I had surgery

February 8, 2005. I think that I have been sick maybe twice. The

first time is when I introduced chicken into my food plan. The

second time was when I gave in and had two spoonfuls of ice cream.

I am 10 months post op and boy has time just breezed right on by.

Due to my personal schedule, I had not been able to attend a couple

of support group meetings. I am pleased to say that I attended the

Vacaville meeting at the beginning of this month. I must say

everytime I attend a meeting, I am overcome with joy and I often

feel like crying. I really miss the people and just thinking back

to 105 pounds. You see, I never had a weight problem until after I

had kids and now I am smaller than I was pre childbirth. I am

currently at 145 with 15 more to go for my personal goal of 30. I

am wearing a size 8 petite. The support I have had from all of you

and Robynn is something that I still struggle to accept. Not

because I don't believe you all but its very hard to receive and I

am sure a lot of you probably feel the same way. As I read

everyone's emails here, I feel good knowing there are so many people

who can relate to me. I think I told my husband this month that I

really needed to attend a meeting because it nice to be around

people just like you. I can not believe that I had this surgery as

5 years ago before I got diagnosed with diabetes, high bp, high

cholesterol, acid relux and asthma (all which are gone) I was pretty

much content with the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my

life this way. I was fine with that as I tried and tried countless

times to be so very successful.

Now this is real and everytime I think about where I am today

compared to 10 months ago, is very much awareness for me that I am

truly blessed and I thank God so very much for giving me this

opportunity. I look back over my life with all the things that I

have had to endure (broken home, sick mother, death of my step

father, both boys being autistic, not having any family here in

California and my list could go on and on) the good stuff always out

weigh the bad things. I feel a sense of beautiful and self worth

now. I really love my boys to death. My husband and I are in the

planning process to renew our wedding vows in 2007. I truly love my

husband of 18 years dearly. He keeps me balanced and I rely so very

much on him daily because I don't have family out here (neither of

us do). He is smart, hard working, a great father and husband and I

thank God for him because truly he is a blessing. You see, he never

hassled me about my weight but he did encourage me. I love him with

my whole self and I will always love him because he was first my

friend.

As the holidays approach, I need you all to know that I am wishing

that you all get what you want and I hope that you all will continue

the fight against obesity.

Much love and respect...

Pam Marsh

December 13, 2005