Re: Three Wishes--got long

[Guest guest]

Naomi and company-

I agree with you about the length-short and sweet is usually what

producers are looking for.It is a beautifully written piece and I

will definitely share it with my son. It does need to be condensed.

I have also researched this Three wishes program-they are looking

for small town folk who could use a " miracle " . The producers are

tired of the major cities getting/benefitting from reality

television and they want to find great stories in " middle america " -

what's more middle america than iowa city?!? One of their first

stories is about a girl who needs cranial/facial surgery. Our Dr

Ponseti is definetly a feel good story-if would put our heads

together I believe we can come up with a short/sweet proposal.

Thanks Naomi for the information-congratulations on your town being

selected-that is so awesome! Can't wait to hear about the taping.

Kathleen

mom to 8/28/04 bcf fab 12/7

> All,

>

> The area I live in on the North Coast of California (Humboldt

County) was identified by the Three Wishes show as a target area. A

few months ago, I was contacted by an acquaintance asking for my

help in writing nominations for the show. Together we wrote some

25 " wish proposals " for area individuals and non-profits. Yesterday-

-to our enormous delight--we found out that the show will be

granting 3 of the wishes we sent in for a show based in our area. I

feel we did a very good job on this (the show is not granting any of

the over 200 other wishes sent in by area residents) and that I have

some insights into what the staff are looking for in a proposal.

> Much of this is also basic things to keep in mind when you are

trying to sell a story. I sent some of this to ee last night,

but I thought some of you might find it helpful if you are going to

write proposls of your own. I would be more than happy to look over

proposals and provide comments and editing if anyone would like me

to do that.

>

> 1. If you are going to send anything in to Three Wishes, do it

right away. Who knows how long this show will stay on the air.

They will be here filming our stories next month, for broadcast in

December (that's my understanding, in any case). I don't now how

far out into the season they are planning.

>

> 2. While it's clear ee worked hard on her essay, it's far

too long. By a couple of pages. For this kind of thing, 700 words

should be your absolute max. The producers are looking for

something short and sweet. Something as long as what ee wrote

will not make it through the first cut.

>

> 3. Say most of what you want to say in the first few lines. Your

lead must be a grabber.

>

> 4. Introduce the wish clearly and early on, don't tag it on the

end. Make it clear who is making the wish (parents? children? Dr

Ponseti?) even if you are making the wish on another person's

behalf. My impression is that the show is much more about the wish

than about any particulars that lead up to the wish.

>

> 5. Assume that the show's staff not only does not have a clue

about clubfoot and its treatment, they frankly don't give a care.

You have to make them think that they way clubfoot is treated is

important and that Dr Ponseti and his method make all the

difference. If you don't make them think this right off the

bat,they will not keep reading your essay.

>

> 6. Think about key words or phrases that you want the first staff

reader to take away: these are your selling points. Sell them.

>

> 7. Be very, very aware of what you are saying. These shows will

stay far away from any story that could get them into trouble.

Don't bad-mouth any particular doctors, even if it's vague. Don't

bring controversies into your story that do not need to be there.

(This phrase, for example,jumped out at me in ee's essay: " When

he was 70 years old, the University of Iowa, where he still

practiced, forced Dr Ponseti to retire. " This makes it sound like

it was something personal. Even if it happened to be true, the show

does not want to take on UI. (And he was not " forced into

retirement " , UI had a mandatory retirement age at that time and

later changed the rule which allowed Dr Ponseti to come back. Just

to set the record straight.))

>

> 8. I'm not allowed to give specifics, but from the stories the

show picked, I can tell you they are buying the sappiness. They are

slurping up the sappiness.

>

> 9. I think it would be effective to have multiple submissions of

the same wish, though not necessarily multiple submissions of the

same text. So the same wish, but told as part of different

stories.

>

> If I can put my finger on it pretty easily, I'll forward a note

from Egbert that he and his wife sent to Oprah years ago.

Though it's a little on the long side (and, after all, we have our

reasons for going on and on about Dr Ponseti and the method), I find

it to be exemplary.

>

> I hope I'm not being to forward here and that this is useful to

some of you. Again, I'm happy to look at anything anyone wants to

send me.

>

> Good luck!

> Naomi

> The Family

> Naomi Hannah(02/21/01) Jonah(06/20/03, corrected bilateral

clubfoot, FAB 14/7)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Naomi and company-

I agree with you about the length-short and sweet is usually what

producers are looking for.It is a beautifully written piece and I

will definitely share it with my son. It does need to be condensed.

I have also researched this Three wishes program-they are looking

for small town folk who could use a " miracle " . The producers are

tired of the major cities getting/benefitting from reality

television and they want to find great stories in " middle america " -

what's more middle america than iowa city?!? One of their first

stories is about a girl who needs cranial/facial surgery. Our Dr

Ponseti is definetly a feel good story-if would put our heads

together I believe we can come up with a short/sweet proposal.

Thanks Naomi for the information-congratulations on your town being

selected-that is so awesome! Can't wait to hear about the taping.

Kathleen

mom to 8/28/04 bcf fab 12/7

> All,

>

> The area I live in on the North Coast of California (Humboldt

County) was identified by the Three Wishes show as a target area. A

few months ago, I was contacted by an acquaintance asking for my

help in writing nominations for the show. Together we wrote some

25 " wish proposals " for area individuals and non-profits. Yesterday-

-to our enormous delight--we found out that the show will be

granting 3 of the wishes we sent in for a show based in our area. I

feel we did a very good job on this (the show is not granting any of

the over 200 other wishes sent in by area residents) and that I have

some insights into what the staff are looking for in a proposal.

> Much of this is also basic things to keep in mind when you are

trying to sell a story. I sent some of this to ee last night,

but I thought some of you might find it helpful if you are going to

write proposls of your own. I would be more than happy to look over

proposals and provide comments and editing if anyone would like me

to do that.

>

> 1. If you are going to send anything in to Three Wishes, do it

right away. Who knows how long this show will stay on the air.

They will be here filming our stories next month, for broadcast in

December (that's my understanding, in any case). I don't now how

far out into the season they are planning.

>

> 2. While it's clear ee worked hard on her essay, it's far

too long. By a couple of pages. For this kind of thing, 700 words

should be your absolute max. The producers are looking for

something short and sweet. Something as long as what ee wrote

will not make it through the first cut.

>

> 3. Say most of what you want to say in the first few lines. Your

lead must be a grabber.

>

> 4. Introduce the wish clearly and early on, don't tag it on the

end. Make it clear who is making the wish (parents? children? Dr

Ponseti?) even if you are making the wish on another person's

behalf. My impression is that the show is much more about the wish

than about any particulars that lead up to the wish.

>

> 5. Assume that the show's staff not only does not have a clue

about clubfoot and its treatment, they frankly don't give a care.

You have to make them think that they way clubfoot is treated is

important and that Dr Ponseti and his method make all the

difference. If you don't make them think this right off the

bat,they will not keep reading your essay.

>

> 6. Think about key words or phrases that you want the first staff

reader to take away: these are your selling points. Sell them.

>

> 7. Be very, very aware of what you are saying. These shows will

stay far away from any story that could get them into trouble.

Don't bad-mouth any particular doctors, even if it's vague. Don't

bring controversies into your story that do not need to be there.

(This phrase, for example,jumped out at me in ee's essay: " When

he was 70 years old, the University of Iowa, where he still

practiced, forced Dr Ponseti to retire. " This makes it sound like

it was something personal. Even if it happened to be true, the show

does not want to take on UI. (And he was not " forced into

retirement " , UI had a mandatory retirement age at that time and

later changed the rule which allowed Dr Ponseti to come back. Just

to set the record straight.))

>

> 8. I'm not allowed to give specifics, but from the stories the

show picked, I can tell you they are buying the sappiness. They are

slurping up the sappiness.

>

> 9. I think it would be effective to have multiple submissions of

the same wish, though not necessarily multiple submissions of the

same text. So the same wish, but told as part of different

stories.

>

> If I can put my finger on it pretty easily, I'll forward a note

from Egbert that he and his wife sent to Oprah years ago.

Though it's a little on the long side (and, after all, we have our

reasons for going on and on about Dr Ponseti and the method), I find

it to be exemplary.

>

> I hope I'm not being to forward here and that this is useful to

some of you. Again, I'm happy to look at anything anyone wants to

send me.

>

> Good luck!

> Naomi

> The Family

> Naomi Hannah(02/21/01) Jonah(06/20/03, corrected bilateral

clubfoot, FAB 14/7)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

>

>