Fwd: [Fwd: Fwd: FW: Bright Women]

[Guest guest]

--- FW: Bright Women

Date: Wed, 5 Sep 2001 14:38:34 -0500

Bright women

>

>When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade

another

country.

>Elayne Boosler

>

>

>The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

>Helen (at 73)

>

>I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray

eyebrows.

>Janette Barber

>

>Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm

supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

>Jan King

>

>Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

>Lily Tomlin

>

>You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?

It's

plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.

>Geri Jewell

>

>A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

> Snow

>

>Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your

girlfriends.

>Laurie Kuslansky

>

>My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my

head

on the top bunk bed until I faint.

>Erma Bombeck

>

>Old age ain't no place for sissies.

>Bette

>

>A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

>Rhonda Hansome

>

>The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

>Jane Sellman

>

>Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought

half

as

good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

>Charlotte Whitton

>

>I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at

once.

> Unlimited

>

>If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible

warning.

> Aird

>

>When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years

before

they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

>Kathy Buckley

>

>

>Behind every successful woman . . . is a substantial amount of coffee.

> Piro

>

>Behind every successful woman . . . . . . is a basket of dirty laundry.

>Sally Forth

>

>There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not

positive I am thinking.

> M. Eades

>

>You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a

smart

woman with a dumb guy.

>a Jong

>

>I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told

me

she

was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good

for

36 hours.

>Rita Rudner

>

>I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

>> Liebman

>

>Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

>Erma Bombeck

>

>If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

>Sue Grafton

>

>I think -- therefore I'm single.

>Lizz Winstead

>

>Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

>on Pearson

>

>I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

>Gilda Radner

>

>In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want

anything done,

ask a woman.

>Margaret Thatcher

>

>I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a

career.

>Gloria Steinem

>

>Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

>Gloria Steinem

>

>I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which

answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every

morning, a

parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every

night.

>Marie Crelli

>

>Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

>Baroness Edith Summerskil

>

>I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

>Zsa Zsa Gabor

>

>Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

>Eleanor Roosevelt

>

>Send this to five bright women you know and make their day

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

--- FW: Bright Women

Date: Wed, 5 Sep 2001 14:38:34 -0500

Bright women

>

>When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade

another

country.

>Elayne Boosler

>

>

>The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

>Helen (at 73)

>

>I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray

eyebrows.

>Janette Barber

>

>Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm

supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

>Jan King

>

>Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

>Lily Tomlin

>

>You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?

It's

plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.

>Geri Jewell

>

>A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

> Snow

>

>Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your

girlfriends.

>Laurie Kuslansky

>

>My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my

head

on the top bunk bed until I faint.

>Erma Bombeck

>

>Old age ain't no place for sissies.

>Bette

>

>A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

>Rhonda Hansome

>

>The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

>Jane Sellman

>

>Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought

half

as

good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

>Charlotte Whitton

>

>I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at

once.

> Unlimited

>

>If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible

warning.

> Aird

>

>When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years

before

they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

>Kathy Buckley

>

>

>Behind every successful woman . . . is a substantial amount of coffee.

> Piro

>

>Behind every successful woman . . . . . . is a basket of dirty laundry.

>Sally Forth

>

>There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not

positive I am thinking.

> M. Eades

>

>You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a

smart

woman with a dumb guy.

>a Jong

>

>I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told

me

she

was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good

for

36 hours.

>Rita Rudner

>

>I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

>> Liebman

>

>Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

>Erma Bombeck

>

>If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

>Sue Grafton

>

>I think -- therefore I'm single.

>Lizz Winstead

>

>Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

>on Pearson

>

>I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

>Gilda Radner

>

>In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want

anything done,

ask a woman.

>Margaret Thatcher

>

>I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a

career.

>Gloria Steinem

>

>Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

>Gloria Steinem

>

>I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which

answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every

morning, a

parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every

night.

>Marie Crelli

>

>Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

>Baroness Edith Summerskil

>

>I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

>Zsa Zsa Gabor

>

>Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

>Eleanor Roosevelt

>

>Send this to five bright women you know and make their day

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp