Re: - for

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My godness have you ever raised a beautiful daughter......your post

truly brought tears to my eyes.....Thank you for your words of

wisdom! I hope I instill in my son the values, compassion and love

that you have in your daughter.

Warmest wishes

-- In pancreatitis , " Weston " <karenw@p...>

wrote:

> ,

> I just wanted to try to ease your mind of some of the worry over

your little one. My daughter, Nikki, was a lot older than your

little one when my health problems began, but I still worried about

the impact my numerous surgeries and health issues would have on

her. I was diagnosed with systemic lupus in Oct 96 when Nikki was

14. I've had good times and not so good times in regard to health

issues since that time. For me, the worst part of lupus was the

debilitating fatigue that goes along with it. There were many months

when the better part of my weekends had to be spent resting just so I

could make it through another week at work. Obviously, Nikki was

plenty old enough to understand that I was tired and needed to rest,

but I still worried that she might feel neglected during the times I

needed extra rest because I wasn't able to do as much with her as I

would have liked. She was always very sweet and encouraged me to

rest when I needed to do so. At one point after Nikki had started

college, I was recouperating from yet another surgery (my 3rd

shoulder surgery if I remember correctly). It was Christmas break

and Nikki was coming home from college. I felt terribly guilty that

I wouldn't be able to do as much with Nikki when she was home. I

felt that Nikki must not have liked having a mother that was forever

recouperating from one surgery or another, or was just so fatigued

that I was unable to do all the things with her that I would have

liked to do. I felt like I really wasn't as good a mother to Nikki

because of all my health issues. Well, Nikki brought me a cute

little dreamsicle figurine, which I collect, and a card with the

sweetest note. I don't remember the words exactly but it was

something along the lines of how incredibly proud she had always been

of me. She told me that I was one of the bravest people she knew and

that I amazed her by my ability to just take all the health issues in

stride and go on with life in spite of all my various medical

problems. She told me that I had always been a wonderful role model

for her and that she hoped one day she would be even just half as

good a mother to her children as I had been to her. Needless to say,

I was totally shocked that Nikki saw me in a totally different light

than what I thought of myself. Instead of feeling that she had been

neglected because of my health issues, she felt that I had been a

great mother to her. Children adapt to things much easier than we do

as adults. I have a feeling that your little one won't feel the

least bit deprived if you are not able to do all the things with him

you'd like to do. He will grow up knowing how very much he was

loved, knowing that even though you might not be able to do

everything with him that you'd like, that you will be there for him

heart and soul.

>

> Take each day and each new challenge as it comes. it is scary to

think of not being there for your children. Nikki is 21, engaged to

be married, and a senior in college. My greatest fear from all my

health issues is that I might die and leave her when she still needs

me. However, all I can do is try to make sure that I get the best

medical care available and that I do all that is within my power to

be here for as long as possible. It is for Nikki, my stepdaughter,

, my husband, mother sister, nephew, etc. that I take the 25

different medications daily that are needed to keep me alive and

functioning to the best of my ability. I will take the medications,

deal with the undesirable side effects, etc. I will fight with every

ounce of my being to see to it that I am on this earth as long as

possilbe.

>

> Just the fact that you worry about not being here for your little

one or not being able to do all the things you'd like with him shows

what a loving and concerned mother you are. Regardless of what the

future may hold for you from a health standpoint, your little one is

a very lucky little boy to have you as his mother.

>

> W

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