Re:surgeon and betrayal

[Guest guest]

I have had the worst day. I have so much anger in me. My surgeon called me an

addict. He kept telling my Mother that I would do all sorts of tricks to get

the didlaudid. He told my Mother, in front of me, that I crave the stuff. I

have never once in my life ever craved that stuff. I spent this past weekend

with fevers pains and pure torture. My Mother knew that the Dr.'s had lowered my

pain med and she didn't tell me. I was feeling so awful that I was so ready to

give up the fight. It turns out that my own mother knew what was going on and

failed to tell me. Hear I am thinking that I am in a huge degree of post op

pain and it's detox. I am lucky my boyfriend is still here tonight. I almost

chopped his head off this weekend. I was told that after I had the surgery I

would be teamed up with Hopkins pain group. That didn't happen either. So many

lies. My surgeon today told me he didn't have time for me or could help me get

find someone that has a better approach to pain than he does. He is in the

world of the past and pain. To be called an addict just makes my blood burn.

`

Now for my diagnosis. I was told today that I have a very rare type of

pancreatitis. I have a type that has some fancy name for autoimmune. It means

that my body is attacking my pancreas, thus causing the disease. My spiffy

" surgeon " told me that in all the years he has been doing whipples he has only

run

across 30people with the same diagnosis. This " surg " is known as the

grandfather's of whipple's. He told me that of all the 30 they were off of all

pain

meds, therefore my body must respond like the norm, thus I should be able to

have a healthy pain free life. I am free of pancreatitis. Yuck!!!!!!!!!!! He is

so wrong, everybody is different. I hope that this is the end of a long road,

but I know my insides and they are not telling me that this maybe true for med

too. I have to take one day at a time and find an excellent pain group and

work with them.

As long as I have known this disease I have not felt that everything is as

simple as the great surg. said.

I have vented enough for tonight. I am finally tired and my anger is

dissipating. I have your e address and will write ASAP. I would love to

chat. Right now I am in need of a buddy chat. I have a question for you first

of all. Do you have any children/ & or do you want children. To me that makes a

huge difference. I am 45 and have all the children I want. I did not know I had

this problem and I do believe that having as many children as I did was a

definite strain on the pancreas.

I am going to say good night to all. I thank you all for all your

caring nurturing support. I thank God for guiding me to this site. If I didn't

have this site I think I would be in the nut house. My love, support and prayers

go out to you all. Once again, thank you for all the sincere, loving support

....Paget

[Guest guest]

Hi Paget,

There is not much that I can say that is going to make you feel

better other than: I understand what you are going through, I

know how you feel, and you are right, it is completely unfair. But I

have learned we are at the mercies of the medical

establishment and we cannot force them to give us treatment ,

yet if we shop around we are labled as hypochondriacs. I am

struggling with this issue right know, kinda in the same way that

you are. I need pain control but I cannot convince any of the

doctors that I have contact with that my current pain level is

beyond my ability to manage. I thought that by providing proof of

the biliary obstruction with laboratory values would at least get

them to look at me more seriously, but they aren't. So I am

concluding that, when it comes to illnesses, if you are not critical,

most doctors see you as a waste of time or label you as

malingerers / hypochondriacs.

I cannot offer you any advice - other than, keep looking, keep

trying new ways to adapt, keep asking questions to those of us

that have gone through it too and be informed enough to know

when you have reached a critical point - that time when they

HAVE to treat you.

Also if you need to reassure yourself about the use of pain

meds, there are some good resources on the internet that

address the issues of addiction vs habituation or tolerance to

opiods (narcotics). The literature is very clear on how to

distinguish between the two and the inappropriateness of

labeling someone an addict when the problem may be

tolerance. If you search under pain management or pain

associations or chronic pain, some good information comes up.

Laurie