-pain med dependancy and withdrawl

June 8, 2003

,

I really feel for you. I was sent home one time with a Dilaudid pain

pump, on a pretty high dosage. I was receiving a constant flow plus I

could use a PCA type device as needed to get a little extra. The

problem was instead of weaning me away from it the doctor ordered the

visiting nurses to DC it. So I went from a high level to we are here

to disconnect you, have a good weekend. I went into withdrawl about

12 hours later and that was BAD!! I was vomiting, flashing between

hot and cold sweats, trembling violently, throwing up, and I had a

different pain than I had ever experienced. I can only describe it as

having someone try to pull all of your muscles away from where they

are attatched to your bones. Made me totally understand why there are

so many junkies in the world; at that moment, I would have done

ANYTHING to make that feeling stop. My dad called my GI specialist

because the general practitioner who had prescribed and discontinued

the Dilaudid wouldn't see me.

My specialist called the addiction specialist at the hospital. He

explained to both of us that what I was experiencing was called a

pseudo-addiction. My body was dependant on the drugs even though

psychologically and every other way I wasn't an addict. I wasn't

trying to get drugs to get high or escape anything, and even though

my pancreas pain was manageable it was the reason I was using the

medication. So they put me on something oral around the clock and

decreased the dosage over the course of about six days, to my normal

just as needed level. It is times like those that you find out which

doctors are your true friends and really care. It certainly was not

the one that caused a problem, and then left me out in the cold.

Don't feel bad about needing pain meds, when YOU NEED THEM. My

specialist also reassured me,(because of the way I had been treated

by the other doctor, I had become concerned that maybe the pain was

all in my head, perhaps I was just a drug addict!) He told me that I

wasn't imagining anything. I had years of attacks with elevated

levels, I had swelling in the head of the pancreas, I had

calcifications in the pancreas, I HAD PAIN. Don't ever let anyone

make you feel bad about not wanting to suffer.

Love and prayers,

Keri

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