Can Things Get Any Worse?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

It's been quite some time since I've posted but have been keeping up

with the posts by everyone. Things have not been going so well for

me as of late

but hate it when I begin to complain as I hate to whine. Also,

whenever I think about my own personal condition and than read some

of the posts such as the person who's CP has turned into pancreatic

cancer, it puts my problems in it's proper perspective. I am really

sorry to hear about this horrible news and am praying for your full

and complete recovery.

Well, I finally heard from my long-term disability carrier, MetLife

concerning my appeal for reinstatement of my lost benefits since

12/24/02 (no joke, this was the date on the letter I received from

them. The Grinch lives!) and it was unfavorable as I was once again

turned down. This was my final appeal as you only get one shot at

them so that's it for that. I am still getting Social Security

benefits as of now but am expecting a similar result from them once

my case comes up for review soon. This puts a tremendous financial

burden on my wife as she is the family's sole support at the moment.

Luckily, I no longer have kids at home as my youngest son will be

graduating college next week (3 for 3! I guess we did something

right after all) and is moving out. However, being a man and having

to watch my wife go to work every day to " support " us is very

emasculating and, although this has been going on ever since I was

terminated by my employer several years ago, I still am having a

tough time dealing

with this change in our roles. I guess I'm just old-fashioned as

well as stubborn.

Well, I saw my doctor yesterday concerning my rapidly deteriorating

health and he was amazed at the amount of weight I had lost since my

last visit. I have come down from a high of 205lbs back in June of

last year to currently weigh 145lbs; the same weight I was upon

returning from the hospital after my whipple surgery in 1996/97.

While he had to admit he was wrong to suggest that I return to work

on a part-time basis, he also was " man " enough to see his own

limitations-a rarity in most physicians. This is just another reason

why I like him as my doctor since most doctor's egos won't allow

them

to admit to this and feel they can " fix it " themselves. He has me

doing a fecal-fat

test this weekend as this is the only test still available to me to

determine the condition of my pancreas due to the many other

surgeries I've had in the past. He also wants me to get in

touch with someone " more experienced with tough cases such as mine "

since he has reach the limits of his expertise. When I mentioned Dr

Sutherland and the Pancreaectomy/Islet-Cell Transplant surgery, he

was against my doing this at this time. He suggested I wait and see

what the specialist has to say about my case before going to this

drastic a choice. I will either be going to see Dr Warshaw in

Boston, or another doctor whom he didn't mention by name in

ville Florida. He will contact me within the next couple of

weeks to advise me on this.

I am so tired of feeling this way. I can't eat anything without

causing pain and therefore sometimes go several days to a week

without

eating anything other than one can of ensure per day. I am also

tired of having to sleep sitting upright in a chair or with my head

between my legs in order to get enough relief from my pain to allow

me to sleep at night. While my doctor continues to tell me I should

consider myself lucky to even be alive after all I've been through, I

tell him it doesn't matter since life is meaningless without a

certain " quality of life " , which I no longer have to offer myself.

I'm

sorry if I am not making a whole lot of sense and sound as if I am

rambling but my mind feels cluttered with so much and just wants to

shut down (for good, sometimes). I really don't know how much more

of this I can take as I have been going through various stages of

this illness for so many years without relief. I just continue to

get worse as time goes on and I'm at the point of just " giving up " .

Sorry to be so wordy on this post but I have so much more in me to

say but don't know where to begin...

Andre'

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/25/2003 3:24:52 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ajcastenell@... writes:

> I will either be going to see Dr Warshaw in

> Boston, or another doctor whom he didn't mention by name in

> ville Florida.

Hi Andre, when I was searching for a cure for cp I also went to see Dr.

Warshaw. My husband and I spent a week in Massachusetts trying to find a cure

for

me. It was a joke. Sorry to tell you that but we were so disgusted when we

left his office and came home. I know that Sue Rebello also had no luck with

Dr. Warshaw. I don't know her story concerning him but I do remember her

saying that he did nothing for her. I sure don't advise you going to see him

after

what I witnessed. I do hope that you are able to come to the symposium and

talk with Dr. Sutherland. I am not suggesting the TP/ICT I am just suggesting

that you explain to him your history and your health now and listen to what he

has to say. I know that Dr. Sutherland is the man who knows the pancreas

very well. It really breaks my heart to know what you have to live with. It

disturbs me that you are being sent to two other doctors who know a lot less

than

Dr. Sutherland. When I saw Dr. Warshaw he prescribed test for me to have at

MGH, test that I didn't need. Test that I had just had in Cincinnati. After

the test he told me that there was nothing wrong with me and that it was all

in my head. I had pancreas divisim and the doctor at MGH couldn't get into my

small duct. The doctors at Indiana were able to get into my small duct. I am

rambling on and on and I do apologize but your post has really upset me. I

can't stand to think that you are going to be going on that merry go round of

seeing this doctor and that doctor to no avail. I have been there done that

and it never helped me. Sorry if I have said too much. Shirley