Re;Depression

[Guest guest]

To start off with I hate this disease. I keep looking at my past and how much

energy I had. I had such enthusiasm for life, and I truly believed that I

would beat this disease or come to some kind of terms with it. Right now the

stents aren't working thus, I have to go into the hospital and have surgery

done..

I am to have the Puestow procedure. There is some problem with the procedure

because my ducts have to be dilated. I have never felt so much anxiety and

depression in my life. I have to sit here and wait to see what the CAT scan says

on Monday. That will make it or break it. I am scared of the answers, and I

am scared that if the answer is that I cannot be helped at this hospital. I am

going to have to go to another hospital that I hate with a passion. The other

thing is that the hospital and DR's that I have now I feel so much trust. I

have never felt this trust in a DR'sin a long time. One of my nurses that came

out to the house to check me out today, gave me some hope. I guess that's what

I am missing right now is hope. Hope is what helps one fight this disease.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I tired now...........anxious,scared, and in great

need of a therapist Page