Childcare - long and rambling response

April 9, 2003

Crystal,

Childcare is a very complex issue at the best of times - all that motherhood

guilt about leaving our babies in someone else's care...... Add CF to the

mix and you're dealing with serious max. outs on the guilt scale!

How we dealt with it all.

1. When we were majorly cash strapped when Sian was nearly 2, I started work

as a family based child care worker. That meant that I looked after other

people's children in my own home. Advantages - socialisation for Sian in an

environment under my control, earning an income without paying for

childcare. Disadvantages - I lost control over my own home, and spiralled

into a major depressive episode. End result - I quit doing childcare, and

went an got a job in " the real world " .

2. Childcare for my " real world " job - we were incredibly lucky to have a

friend start work as a family based child care worker just as I was

finishing up. She took on my children (and the children I had been caring

for!) Advantages - my friend has known about CF as long as I

have, and has done quite a bit of research herself. I didn't have to train

her on enzymes, or cross contamination or anything like that. My kids could

keep up their friendship with the other children that I had cared for. My

kids loved before she started caring for them. Disadvantages -

See earlier comments re guilt. And there is always a quibble in the back of

the brain about family based childcare - what if she just plonks them in

front of the telly all day?

In the end, I gave up work again. I managed to work full time (shiftwork,

50 hour week) for 18 months. In the end, the toll on my mental and physical

health was just too high.

What have I learned from all this? There is no way of avoiding the guilty

feelings when you put your children in care. I am not physically/mentally

capable of working full time in the hospitality or childcare industries.

But Crystal, we are all different. I know many people who manage to work

full time, even when their children have major physical challenges. I'm not

as strong as they are. I admire them enormously, but I accept who I am. I

hope that you have the financial option of working within your limits, and

can find childcare which suits you and .

Much love,

-

Mum to Cate 10yrs wocf and Sian 6yrs wcf, asthma, GERD and ADD

Canberra Australia-

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