Re: Fatigue with CP (and other thoughts)...chatty...

[Guest guest]

Pat...the emotions you are experiencing are true and honest emotions

felt by anybody who has been given a diagnosis that will affect them

for the rest of their lives...and affect them in ways that are not

only visible to others but also invisible....you are going through

the 5 stages of grieving and this is perfectly normal.

The grieving process is not a static unchanging process...rather it

is an up and down, forward and backward movement through the moods

and emotions you mention at the end of your message.

I live with five chronic health conditions (six if we count the

chronic sinusitis I was just recenly diagnosed with !)...ones that

will never go away, but can only be " managed " ...and four of them are

pain issues, which adds another level of complexity. All of them

affect my diet, my energy levels, my desire/abilty to be active, my

moods, my interactions with my friends and family, my ability to do

previously enjoyed activities, my ability to *predict* what I can

expect over the next few days, even my libido. There is not a single

area of my life, my persona, the what that makes me who I am, that is

not affected by these conditions...(I am wide awake and it is almost

1230 am...one of the lovely affects of having insomnia! And I have

taken my medications...*twice* and still barely feel sleepy...and

have to get up in five hours to go to work !)

These conditions intermingle and conflict with one another...the

activity and way of eating that is good for one is bad for the other

....and constantly having to think about what I am " allowed " to eat or

what my body can handle is very wearing...sometimes I just don't even

want to bother to eat but my diabetes demands it......

I have pancreatitis, fibromyalgia, diabetes, arthritis in most of my

body (dx'x by xray or MRI in my neck, low back, knees, and hands for

certain) and migraines! You would think any one or two of these

would be enough ! I am also dealing with acute sinusitis *on "

chronic...I've been in the medical field 30 years and had never heard

this term before....it means that I am currently going through an

acute phase, but the chonic is underlyiing and has done the

detectable damages ! I am having sinus surgery in 2months...all four

sinus cavities on the right side are completely messed up!

And I keep forgetting to mention " depression " when I list my chronic

conditions because it is fairly well controlled...

So please find some measure of comfort in knowing you are not at all

alone in dealing with your fluctuating emotions...if others of us

sound a little more together...it's only because we have gotten to

some point of acceptance...but really and truly we never fully accept

this as our lot in life as we are always searchig for the right

doctor to fix us or the right surgery to end our suffering or the

right combination of meds that can help us lead a more normal life...

or...etc etc etc.

Take Heart Pat...and continue to educate yourself and stay connected

to others who understand...and be here when we need somone to be

strong for us...because we ALL have those days where we get fed up

with the hand that's been dealt to us....

Hugs, Jeannine

ps... Kubler Ross wrote a book called On Death and Dying in

which she fully describes the five steps of grieving...and we can all

learn from it as we are grieving the loss of our former selves and

having to come to a place of accepting our " now " selves....

the range of emotions after finding out about this chronic

> disease is something unexpected too; from acceptance to anger to

> resolve. Is this all normal?

>

> Thanks in advance.

> Pat German