need advise

[Guest guest]

my cousin who is going to be 2 years old has not spoken yet should i

be concerned

he only babbles like baby talk do you think i should be concerned

since his sister is four and talks and she started talking at 2-3

years old and did not stop talking and he seemed kinda spacee out and

does not pay no attention to anyone but mom but when she leaves a

room he starts crying like a an infant

[Guest guest]

hi Ide

Our lives as parents of these kids can be heartrending and heartbreaking.

I don't know what to tell you , others here will give you some good advice.

However I have a comment on his loneliness.....is it possible for him to have a pet ??

A pet gives unconditional love and is always there , listens, never judges and so on.

Just a thought.

hugs

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: haackia@...Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:42:32 +0000Subject: ( ) Need Advise

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide Sign in and you could WIN! Enter for your chance to win $1000 every day. Visit SignInAndWIN.ca today to learn more!

[Guest guest]

I would tell the mother about the Asperger's and also take some printed information. Knowing about it makes most people more understanding. Everyone my son interacts with knows about his AS. I make sure of that so when he does something everyone is understanding. He still has to deal with the consequences but no one thinks he's bad, a bully, or a freak.

( ) Need Advise

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part

where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

[Guest guest]

I would go ALONE to the home and talk with the mother, and ask if their child can have another chance with your son, and that you will supervise. Give her your name and number, and have her call if her child coming out to play, etc. And, YES, you tell her your child has Asperger's (and that, in a nutshell, it was a bad choice, he acted impulsively, but that Asperger's is a huge social disorder, and that your child needs to learn how to play appropriately. At 10, I would even ask if she minded if you allow her child to be used as a role model for appropriate play (and 'use' her child to help teach how we play, ask to play, share frustration in an acceptable way, etc.)...............but, I would NOT involve your child in it. I would simply let her know. We are already letting all our neighbors know; for heaven sakes, we have kids down the street that are way out of control and make my kids look like the best on the block; not knowing can create more issues than not.........as the new lady on the block, go introduce yourself, and let her know how YOU feel (be rational, plan in out, and YOU apologize for YOUR child's behavior, ask if her child okay, if there is anything she would like you to do?...............I would be like that, and accept responsibility for him and his actions, and let her know you are concerned about her child.........then, if she let's you in (emotionally / willing to listen)........I would ask if you could even inform her briefly about Asperger's and perhaps tell her children, and let them know.........these children could actually be saints and end up being the friends your child never had.

Treat it like SCHOOL---------our school goes in and tells our 1st graders room about him (without him there) and some of the things he does and why / why he may respond in 'blank' way, and what we would like THEM to do to help HIM to be the best person that Derrick can be-------all the kids are his cheerleaders now, and he thinks everyone in his room is his friend (and I think they probably are------everyone speaks to him, greets him by name, offers to help, he brings home notes 2-4 times a week from someone that wrote him an "I like you" letter. It is great........more than we ever dreamed--------we are new here, too---been in this school 8 weeks and our home for 7..........

Hope that help.

Ruthie Dolezal

From: haackia@...Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:42:32 +0000Subject: ( ) Need Advise

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

[Guest guest]

BINGO-----------I think that LISA LEONARD is exactly right.....

And, I apologize, I did not realize until I just re-read what you typed first, that THEY were new to the neighborhood.

I would take cookies, perhaps a prepared meal, and welcome them to the neighborhood, and the best book in your opinion on Asperger's and ask her to take the time to read it when she has a chance, perhaps that will help her family to understand your son better, and that you hope that you can get to know her better, and that the kids can try a planned playdate sometime which you would LOVE to supervise.

Ruthie

From: lisa_leonard@...Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:49:39 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Need Advise

I would tell the mother about the Asperger's and also take some printed information. Knowing about it makes most people more understanding. Everyone my son interacts with knows about his AS. I make sure of that so when he does something everyone is understanding. He still has to deal with the consequences but no one thinks he's bad, a bully, or a freak.

( ) Need Advise

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

[Guest guest]

Hi Ide

I would definitely go over and talk to the Mom. I'd apologize for what happened and explain things to her about the AS. Perhaps print out a little info for her to read on her own so she knows it's an official disability. If she knows you're involved and is she knows about the AS, she may be understanding and allow the children to play.

At the same time, this will allow you to meet her. Based on how she reacts to you, you may decide you don' t want the kids together. If she's understanding and is receptive to what you tell her, maybe things would be fine. She could talk to her kids and explain to them about your son. If she doesn't seem to react well to your visit, then that tells you it probably wouldn't be a good match anyway.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

MIms

From: haackia <haackia@...>Subject: ( ) Need Advise Date: Monday, April 14, 2008, 2:42 PM

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part

where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

[Guest guest]

Great idea, .........I would suggest a cat over a dog-------for a first pet anyway-------our six year old and 14 year old AS still are scared of and hate dogs....the six year old has taken time to come around to our cat but he calls her 'sweetie,' 'honey babe,' and it is starting to be hilarious.....he begs to feed her, so that is his official job after school now (hard food)---we do soft food in the morning----and he is constantly looking for her, greating her, and telling her he loves her..........it has been amazing for him.........the 14 year old likes her too but he has abuse issues and can get rough and mean so we have to watch that but it has helped more than hurt in our home---we have had her just 2 years on March 17. So, we did not always have a pet, and it is great for ALL of us actually. Ruthie

Aspergers Treatment From: flyballmom@...Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:46:40 +0000Subject: RE: ( ) Need Advise

hi Ide Our lives as parents of these kids can be heartrending and heartbreaking. I don't know what to tell you , others here will give you some good advice. However I have a comment on his loneliness.....is it possible for him to have a pet ?? A pet gives unconditional love and is always there , listens, never judges and so on. Just a thought. hugs

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: haackia Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:42:32 +0000Subject: ( ) Need Advise

HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

Sign in and you could WIN! Enter for your chance to win $1000 every day. Visit SignInAndWIN.ca today to learn more!

[Guest guest]

I gotta run, so I'm gonna be quick about this. I'd definitely let her know about AS. Your son knows,,,,,,,and it's nothing to be ashamed of. He will in time, like hopefully, all of our kids, learn the appropriate ways to "behave". Until then,,,,we gotta let people know. As far as him being labeled the "street freek"......sadly,,,,,he probably already is. I don't mean that in an insulting way and I hope you take it well.........but my son is already "labeled" by the other kids. Kids pick up on "not like them" and run with it. Be honest and love him. Sometimes, that's all we can do. Are there any support groups? Groups out there for kids on the spectrum help by psychologists? Call around to different psychols/psychiat/docs.... Robinhaackia <haackia@...> wrote: HiNeed advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.So, I am planning

to take him to the house and apologize to the mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.Ide

[Guest guest]

This is a great stream.

Prior to my son's diagnosis he would play at a neighbors house. My neighbor was a teacher and was named Teacher of the Year at her school. Our son was showing differences at the time. He was initally diagnosed with ADHD. We didn't know yet that he has Asperger's Syndrome. She had told me several times that my son was a bad influence. That my son wound her kids up and made them misbehave. Her husband accused us of exposing our son to bad things. We never exposed him to anything harmful. One day when he was at their home he said something about beer. They immediately thought we were drinkers. She told me I was a bad mother in front of my son. Right before my son was diagnosed with ASD she told me that her husband said, "That kid is never allowed in our house." From all this you would think our child was a juvenile delinquent. That we really are terrible parents. Yet, our son had been in therapy and to Dr.'s from age 3 on up. My son is not

violent, he doesn't make fun of anyone, he doesn't lie or steal. He doesn't curse. He never hits, unless he has been hit. Her son hit him ALL THE TIME. My son never hit back. He doesn't do anything at all to warrant this type of judgment. Further more they are the only people who have treated our son and us in this manner. Our son hugs everyone. He has the kindest heart. His Kindergarten teacher told us that he was her special friend and how kind he is. He won 2 awards at school for Kindness and Consideration of others. We have never had any complaints such as theirs. Other people have told us what a delight our son is. Quirky.......LOL.... but delightful. The worst things he has done is have too much energy...he bounces off the walls. He can be loud. He has trouble taking turns. He can be compulsive. It can be troubling to watch him melt down. He really shows his Autism during melt downs. However, he never melted down in front of this

neighbor. Acted strange? Yes. He goes into his own world at times. Not a lot. He will focus on limited topics. He went from African animals to pirates to Lord of the Rings to his current obsession, Pokemon.

As soon as we got a diagnosis I wrote her and other neighbors a note stating that our son has Aspergers Syndrome. I gave an article that briefly describes the disorder. I asked for their patience and understanding in the matter. If he is out in the cul-de-sac running in circles or in his own world, not to worry. You know what this neighbor said to me after getting the letter? Not how is your son or I'm sorry your son has this. She looked at me and said, I guess this is why you have lost so much weight. That was the FIRST and only time I have asked someone to get off my property. I could care less what she thinks about me. She can make all the assumptions she wants. When it has to do with our son...........................she crossed the line.

Thanks for letting me rant on this topic about neighbors and telling people about our children and their struggles.

( ) Re: Need Advise

Sounds so familiar! This has happened to my son. His good friend was teasing him down at the lake swinging a fishing pole with a hook on it over my son's head. His friend was sort of showing off to the other older kids. They all laughed. My son came running home crying and terrified and did not understand why his friend who is older would do this to him. Now this friend goes to Catholic School and has a wonderful family. I called the mom to explain what happened. I was hysterical. I have so much stress that I could not hold it together but I did tell her not to go down and embarrass her son in front of everyone.... but would she please talk to him.Well, guess what, my son is NO LOnGER allowed to go to their house. He is the "Bad" one. Then a couple of months ago, he and his other good friend B and B's sister's and his other's friend's sister were hanging out by the lake. I thought

wow....great. Next thing I know is B's father comes over and says I son exposed himself. I almost crawled under the table. When he called the boys in....B says to his dad, Dad, sis did it first. She does it all the time. Phew...pressure off for a minute. Then we speak to them about this and it is brought up that hit the other girl (his other friend's sister). said he was pushing her away becuase she was punching him and kicking him because he said something about her brother. claims he did not hit her. I don't know the truth to that...but I do know my son has never hit anyone. Anyways, he and his friend have made up but he has to sneak down to our house???? can NEVER go up there! His friend's mother who I liked just walks by me and never waves or stops. I feel like I forgive and forget...why can't she...we are both Christian and isn't that what it says for us to do in the

Bible??? So, I try not to let it bother me even though it does. I let this boy in becuase he is good for and now sort of understands him...(he is 15 and my son is 12). Anyways, do you think I should mail a letter and information on Asperger's too? It is such an awful feeling when a parent forbids their children to play with ours....makes me feel like I have a monster for a child.-- In , "haackia" <haackia@... > wrote:>> Hi> > Need advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was > talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They > disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit > outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it

got into a > heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am > not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed > to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and > now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.> > So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the > mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go > into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either > understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this > stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very > sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It > broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.> > Ide>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing. I am very depressed this morning and it's good to know that I am not alone.

God bless everyone because each of us is in a lonely battle.

Ide

( ) Re: Need Advise

Sounds so familiar! This has happened to my son. His good friend was teasing him down at the lake swinging a fishing pole with a hook on it over my son's head. His friend was sort of showing off to the other older kids. They all laughed. My son came running home crying and terrified and did not understand why his friend who is older would do this to him. Now this friend goes to Catholic School and has a wonderful family. I called the mom to explain what happened. I was hysterical. I have so much stress that I could not hold it together but I did tell her not to go down and embarrass her son in front of everyone.... but would she please talk to him.Well, guess what, my son is NO LOnGER allowed to go to their house. He is the "Bad" one. Then a couple of months ago, he and his other good friend B and B's sister's and his other's friend's sister were hanging out by the lake. I thought

wow....great. Next thing I know is B's father comes over and says I son exposed himself. I almost crawled under the table. When he called the boys in....B says to his dad, Dad, sis did it first. She does it all the time. Phew...pressure off for a minute. Then we speak to them about this and it is brought up that hit the other girl (his other friend's sister). said he was pushing her away becuase she was punching him and kicking him because he said something about her brother. claims he did not hit her. I don't know the truth to that...but I do know my son has never hit anyone. Anyways, he and his friend have made up but he has to sneak down to our house???? can NEVER go up there! His friend's mother who I liked just walks by me and never waves or stops. I feel like I forgive and forget...why can't she...we are both Christian and isn't that what it says for us to do in the

Bible??? So, I try not to let it bother me even though it does. I let this boy in becuase he is good for and now sort of understands him...(he is 15 and my son is 12). Anyways, do you think I should mail a letter and information on Asperger's too? It is such an awful feeling when a parent forbids their children to play with ours....makes me feel like I have a monster for a child.-- In , "haackia" <haackia@... > wrote:>> Hi> > Need advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was > talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They > disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit > outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it

got into a > heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am > not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed > to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and > now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.> > So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the > mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go > into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either > understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this > stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very > sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It > broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.> > Ide>

[Guest guest]

I'm talking to Dylan about sharing with people something like this "Sometimes I have trouble reading people or situations so if I get something wrong, let me know." Just even saying something like this (processing when a situation warrants it, remembering to say it, pushing through the uncomfortable part of it, etc...) is a big deal though. We're working on it. It sounds better, in my opinion, then saying "I have Aspergers" since nobody really knows what it is and can cause the "label" problem. It's not really sharing the diagnosis that helps (at least w/ kids) but the behaviors b/c of the diagnosis.

( ) Need Advise> > Hi> > Need advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was > talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They > disagreed on how to pronouce "Sega". I was not home. I usually sit > outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got into a > heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I am > not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not allowed > to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and > now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.> > So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the > mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to go > into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they either > understand or he is

label the street freak. I am so tired of this > stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very > sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother. It > broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.> > Ide>

[Guest guest]

, that is great advice! I think if you throw out a " name " or

diagnosis to people, so many stereotypes come to mind. If you say, I

have autism, people automatically assume " Rainman " etc. Yours is such

a much better way.

We try and get our son, with severe ADD to say things like, " Would

you mind if I write that down, I have trouble remembering things. "

Or " Could you repeat that, I have trouble getting stuff the first

time around. " Of course, a LOT of the time, he doesn't even know he

has not understood, or remembered.

BUt, I think your advice is right on target...for interacting with

ANY age group, even peers. My son is SO incapable of self-deprecating

humor that it is very difficult for him to joke about this, like many

kids would.

I think working on it like a " drama coach " where they learn lines

appropriate to situations is helpful.

Sue in Tennessee

> >

> > I would tell the mother about the Asperger's and also take some

> printed information. Knowing about it makes most people more

> understanding. Everyone my son interacts with knows about his AS. I

> make sure of that so when he does something everyone is

> understanding. He still has to deal with the consequences but no

one

> thinks he's bad, a bully, or a freak.

> >

> >

> >

> > ( ) Need Advise

> >

> > Hi

> >

> > Need advise on how to handle a situation. My 10 yrs old boy was

> > talking with some kids that just moved to our neighborhood. They

> > disagreed on how to pronouce " Sega " . I was not home. I usually

sit

> > outsite the house and watch their interaction. Anyway, it got

into

> a

> > heated discussion and my kid either pinch her face or hit her. I

am

> > not sure. She and her brother went home and now they are not

> allowed

> > to play with my kid. Of course, he knows he did a wrong thing and

> > now his sorry and sad. He did apologize to the girl that same day.

> >

> > So, I am planning to take him to the house and apologize to the

> > mother to see if this will smooth things and I am not sure if to

go

> > into the details of his Asperger's. I have mixed feelings they

> either

> > understand or he is label the street freak. I am so tired of this

> > stress. Yesterday I found a poem he wrote for school. It was very

> > sweel until I got to the part where he wishes to have a brother.

It

> > broke my heart because I know how lonely he is.

> >

> > Ide

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ide,

I know exactly how you feel....we are all here for you

just as everyone was here for me. It is so hard on our

children and us as parents. Just take a day at a time

or even an hour at a time.....we are riding on a very

bumping road....I never know what is going to happen

next....just remember, God is with you on this

journey! And, so are we!

Jan

--- " Idelice A. Haack " <haackia@...> wrote:

> Thanks for sharing. I am very depressed this morning

> and it's good to know that I am not alone.

>

> God bless everyone because each of us is in a lonely

> battle.

>

> Ide

>

>

>

> ( ) Re: Need Advise

>

>

> Sounds so familiar! This has happened to my son. His

> good friend

> was teasing him down at the lake swinging a fishing

> pole with a hook

> on it over my son's head. His friend was sort of

> showing off to the

> other older kids. They all laughed. My son came

> running home crying

> and terrified and did not understand why his friend

> who is older

> would do this to him. Now this friend goes to

> Catholic School and has

> a wonderful family. I called the mom to explain what

> happened. I

> was hysterical. I have so much stress that I could

> not hold it

> together but I did tell her not to go down and

> embarrass her son in

> front of everyone.... but would she please talk to

> him.

>

> Well, guess what, my son is NO LOnGER allowed to go

> to their house.

> He is the " Bad " one.

>

> Then a couple of months ago, he and his other good

> friend B and B's

> sister's and his other's friend's sister were

> hanging out by the

> lake. I thought wow....great. Next thing I know is

> B's father comes

> over and says I son exposed himself. I almost

> crawled under the

> table. When he called the boys in....B says to his

> dad, Dad, sis did

> it first. She does it all the time. Phew...pressure

> off for a

> minute. Then we speak to them about this and it is

> brought up that

> hit the other girl (his other friend's

> sister). said he

> was pushing her away becuase she was punching him

> and kicking him

> because he said something about her brother.

> claims he did not

> hit her. I don't know the truth to that...but I do

> know my son has

> never hit anyone. Anyways, he and his friend have

> made up but he

> has to sneak down to our house???? can NEVER

> go up there! His

> friend's mother who I liked just walks by me and

> never waves or

> stops. I feel like I forgive and forget...why can't

> she...we are

> both Christian and isn't that what it says for us to

> do in the

> Bible??? So, I try not to let it bother me even

> though it does. I

> let this boy in becuase he is good for and now

> sort of

> understands him...(he is 15 and my son is 12).

>

=== message truncated ===

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

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[Guest guest]

Good For You! Wow! I am so proud of you and feel so

much better! My son's best friend from kindergarten

till 4th grade is no longer allowed to play with

. I have no idea why. It bothered me a lot and

thought about calling this mother. She is remarried

and it is the " step-father " who doesn't want his

step-son playing with . Now this boy is BRILLANT

and a little too intellegent...in first grade he said

to my son when they were watching t.v.....look at the

boobs on that one...of course I said ...we don't talk

like that. Or he would say to my son who wanted to go

out... " What moron would go outside in the cold " . He

has a sister who is deaf yet he has no problem of

making fun of people with problems. He calls the

smaller buses " tart carts " ....yet my son is the bad

influence. Now they have two more children from the

marriage and the half-brother seems to have ADHD?

Funny! Ha? Well, now when I see them I walk on

by...proudly! I know I have a good son and whatever he

learned he learned from their son and all the other

kids on the bus....(we don't curse but my son does but

not at home...so where did it come

from...bus,friends,school). Anyways, I just say to

myself...what comes around ...goes around!

And boy that teacher is way way way way out of line! I

dislike people like that! Good for you!! I am so proud

of you and you have made me feel good. You son sounds

WONDERFUL....keep up the good work!

Jan

--- Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote:

> This is a great stream.

>

> Prior to my son's diagnosis he would play at a

> neighbors house. My neighbor was a teacher and was

> named Teacher of the Year at her school. Our son was

> showing differences at the time. He was initally

> diagnosed with ADHD. We didn't know yet that he has

> Asperger's Syndrome. She had told me several times

> that my son was a bad influence. That my son wound

> her kids up and made them misbehave. Her husband

> accused us of exposing our son to bad things. We

> never exposed him to anything harmful. One day when

> he was at their home he said something about beer.

> They immediately thought we were drinkers. She told

> me I was a bad mother in front of my son. Right

> before my son was diagnosed with ASD she told me

> that her husband said, " That kid is never allowed in

> our house. " From all this you would think our child

> was a juvenile delinquent. That we really are

> terrible parents. Yet, our son had been in therapy

> and to Dr.'s from age 3 on up. My son is not

> violent, he

> doesn't make fun of anyone, he doesn't lie or

> steal. He doesn't curse. He never hits, unless he

> has been hit. Her son hit him ALL THE TIME. My son

> never hit back. He doesn't do anything at all to

> warrant this type of judgment. Further more they are

> the only people who have treated our son and us in

> this manner. Our son hugs everyone. He has the

> kindest heart. His Kindergarten teacher told us that

> he was her special friend and how kind he is. He won

> 2 awards at school for Kindness and Consideration of

> others. We have never had any complaints such as

> theirs. Other people have told us what a delight our

> son is. Quirky.......LOL.... but delightful. The

> worst things he has done is have too much

> energy...he bounces off the walls. He can be loud.

> He has trouble taking turns. He can be compulsive.

> It can be troubling to watch him melt down. He

> really shows his Autism during melt downs. However,

> he never melted down in front of this neighbor.

> Acted strange?

> Yes. He goes into his own world at times. Not a

> lot. He will focus on limited topics. He went from

> African animals to pirates to Lord of the Rings to

> his current obsession, Pokemon.

>

> As soon as we got a diagnosis I wrote her and other

> neighbors a note stating that our son has Aspergers

> Syndrome. I gave an article that briefly describes

> the disorder. I asked for their patience and

> understanding in the matter. If he is out in the

> cul-de-sac running in circles or in his own world,

> not to worry. You know what this neighbor said to me

> after getting the letter? Not how is your son or I'm

> sorry your son has this. She looked at me and said,

> I guess this is why you have lost so much weight.

> That was the FIRST and only time I have asked

> someone to get off my property. I could care less

> what she thinks about me. She can make all the

> assumptions she wants. When it has to do with our

> son...........................she crossed the line.

>

> Thanks for letting me rant on this topic about

> neighbors and telling people about our children and

> their struggles.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ( ) Re: Need Advise

>

>

> Sounds so familiar! This has happened to my son. His

> good friend

> was teasing him down at the lake swinging a fishing

> pole with a hook

> on it over my son's head. His friend was sort of

> showing off to the

> other older kids. They all laughed. My son came

> running home crying

> and terrified and did not understand why his friend

> who is older

> would do this to him. Now this friend goes to

> Catholic School and has

> a wonderful family. I called the mom to explain what

> happened. I

> was hysterical. I have so much stress that I could

> not hold it

> together but I did tell her not to go down and

> embarrass her son in

> front of everyone.... but would she please talk to

> him.

>

> Well, guess what, my son is NO LOnGER allowed to go

> to their house.

> He is the " Bad " one.

>

> Then a couple of months ago, he and his other good

> friend B and B's

> sister's and his other's friend's sister were

> hanging out by the

> lake. I thought wow....great. Next thing I know is

> B's father comes

> over and says I son exposed himself. I almost

> crawled under the

> table. When he called the boys in....B says to his

> dad, Dad, sis did

> it first. She does it all the time. Phew...pressure

> off for a

> minute. Then we speak to them about this and it is

> brought up that

> hit the other girl (his other friend's

> sister). said he

> was pushing her away becuase she was punching him

> and kicking him

> because he said something about her brother.

> claims he did not

> hit her. I don't know the truth to that...but I do

> know my son has

> never hit anyone. Anyways, he and his friend have

> made up but he

> has to sneak down to our house???? can NEVER

> go up there! His

> friend's mother who I liked just walks by me and

> never waves or

> stops. I feel like I forgive and forget...why can't

> she...we are

> both Christian and isn't that what it says for us to

> do in the

> Bible??? So, I try not to let it bother me even

> though it does. I

> let this boy in becuase he is good for and now

> sort of

> understands him...(he is 15 and my son is 12).

>

> Anyways, do you think I should mail a letter and

> information on

> Asperger's too?

>

> It is such an awful feeling when a parent forbids

> their children to

> play with ours....makes me feel like I have a

> monster for a child.

>

> -- In , " haackia "

> <haackia@... > wrote:

> >

> > Hi

> >

> > Need advise on how to handle a situation. My 10

> yrs old boy was

> > talking with some kids that just moved to our

> neighborhood.

=== message truncated ===

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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