Feeling Stressed

[Guest guest]

I just want to mention how stressed I feel of late. I am glad I am not

abnormal. Although Eilish is 5 1/2 I feel very , well, sad really. I

don't know what exactly triggered it. All I want to do is sleep all

day, or cant sleep at all at night. Like you my shoulders, and back are

so tense that I feel they are shaking on the inside, but you cant see it

on the outside. I just don't feel like doing anything. I am usually '

full of life'. My kids would never know how I feel. I took 7 kids to

the park yesterday, so I would never ever let it affect their life. But

I feel so anxious. Who ever brought this subject up thank you so much.

I would never have mentioned it otherwise.

(Australia)

Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

, hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages 4,5, and 6.

My 6

and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very depressing at

times I

have recently been put on medication for stress and musles spasms caused

by

stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be strong but

it

is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it all in.

I

just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all out! Scream

to

the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here if you

ever

need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

That is what the lists are for in part----. They are wonderful in that help

too. the info is Great. But, the being able to share other parts of CF life

& world, is also a really important point. many have felt as you have. I

cant even give a number how many. I speak with & write with Hundreds & it

comes up with most , sooner or later.

I think the world of Cf & the world at large feel others stress & we just

react ---each of us , even us ole grandmoms.......As you said though, the

wee ones will never know, or other adults around us either. sooooooooooooo,

come to the lists & let it all hang out. We are here for you.......

LOVE & HUGS, grandmomBEV

Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

, hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages 4,5, and 6.

My 6

and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very depressing at

times I

have recently been put on medication for stress and musles spasms caused

by

stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be strong but

it

is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it all in.

I

just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all out! Scream

to

the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here if you

ever

need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

[Guest guest]

, Maybe you could talk w/ your doctor about your feelings and

see if he/she can help you out. Maybe refer you to a psychologist to

go talk to once a week/month whatever helps. Or maybe if you aren't

against it, medication. Christmas of 2001 I had a major breakdown and

went in to my doctor. She gave me a low dose of Celexa and I took

that and then started therapy. I used both until November of 2002 and

my mood was just so much better. It's the best I'd felt in about 5

years! I decided to stop going to therapy and stop the medicine but

if I ever feel myself sliding back down I won't hesitate to ask for

help again. If you don't wish to go that far I'm just glad you have

us here to come to and talk. Always know there are others out here

that have a pretty good idea what you are going through Christy

Mom of Wyatt 7wcf and Hunter 3wocf

-- In cfparents , " Baxter " <scottie@a...> wrote:

> I just want to mention how stressed I feel of late. I am glad I am

not

> abnormal. Although Eilish is 5 1/2 I feel very , well, sad

really. I

> don't know what exactly triggered it. All I want to do is sleep all

> day, or cant sleep at all at night. Like you my shoulders, and

back are

> so tense that I feel they are shaking on the inside, but you cant

see it

> on the outside. I just don't feel like doing anything. I am

usually '

> full of life'. My kids would never know how I feel. I took 7 kids

to

> the park yesterday, so I would never ever let it affect their

life. But

> I feel so anxious. Who ever brought this subject up thank you so

much.

> I would never have mentioned it otherwise.

>

> (Australia)

>

> Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

>

>

> Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

>

> , hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages 4,5,

and 6.

> My 6

> and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very depressing at

> times I

> have recently been put on medication for stress and musles spasms

caused

> by

> stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be

strong but

> it

> is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it

all in.

> I

> just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all out!

Scream

> to

> the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here if

you

> ever

> need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

> Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

A big hug to you. I remember twice in my life I felt this way. But the

time that stands out most was when my marriage was ending.

We first started talking about divorce in Nov. '96 -- I'd already been

sleeping on the sofa since July. So here it was a year later and it

looked like he was never going to move out of the house.

Day by day I felt like I was shrinking more into an airless, black

shell, just going through the daily motions with no emotion. There was

no more joy in anything I did.

Every night as I tucked the blankets around me on the sofa, I'd lie

there in the dark, staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep. And every

night, soon those hot tears would come, spilling down my face, sliding

into my ears. I'd try to fight them but they always came.

And crying just made me feel worse, because then it might lead to

sobbing if it got out of control, and I'd want to sob but was afraid

of waking everyone. So I'd turn my head to the side, burrowing into

the pillow and fold the pillow over my face so no one could hear me.

I'd worked at a counseling center for 7 years so sure, I knew all the

right things to try battling this: I went to gym every day to work off

the stress and keep hormones and neurotransmitters running like

clockwork and feel good about my body. I accepted substitute teaching

assignments so I could mentally focus on something besides my

situation. I stayed on routine with my children and spent time with

close friends (one of whom is a counselor at my former employment and

the best listener in the world), but still I just couldn't shake this

feeling that I was being swallowed up in a dark void and one day would

disappear altogether.

Finally, when I went to my OB-GYN for my annual exam, I told him what

was going on. I fought hard to keep from crying while telling him, and

I succeeded (I hate crying in public, you know the swollen eyes,

mascara streaks and red nose).

My OB-GYN is just the greatest guy; he spent longer time than usual

with me that day, listening patiently and intently. I'll never forget

the conversation because I learned his perception of me: he said flat

out that I'm strong, able to handle anything that comes along, staying

on top of CF care and research, working and managing the farm,

finishing school while working and raising the kids. It was like he

had been a fly on the wall inside my head all these years, knowing

what I was going through more than my husband.

All the work and accomplishments I achieved as farm wife, mom, student

and employee I took in stride -- I didn't think twice about it: you

have a job to do, so do it well and move on to the next task. Just

keep moving, doing, thinking, growing. As a 19 1/2-year old bride, it

was imprinted upon me that " Larry does the farmwork so you do

everything else and when he needs an extra farmhand, you do that too. "

And to this day I still think " Big deal, what have I done that's

special? Lots of women accomplish so much more, juggle more and have

greater burdens, I can do more, I need to try harder, if I was

smarter, prettier, thinner then I'd be worthy enough to be loved. But

I'm just not good enough. "

Funny that none of that was attached to CF because 's CF care was

just one more thing I did, and if it's worth doing then well, you do

it well without expecting praise or validation.

Seriously, that's what I believe -- always taking for granted that I'm

nothing special and not good enough to be special at anything. But

this doctor whom I saw once, maybe twice a year saw more than that. He

said out of all of his patients, I was the strongest person he knew --

something my friends and even my parents' friends always said about me

-- but I'd shrug it off thinking oh, they're just talking.

He listed numerous CF and non-CF related events in my life --

important, life-altering events that I was surprised he remembered,

because after all, I only saw him maybe a couple times a year, but he

always asked about home and and what's knew in the world of CF.

And again, I thought how does he remember these things when after

nearly 21 years of marriage, my husband doesn't he remember my birth

date (which is a no-brainer because the numbers coincide with his

mother's telephone number!).

The doctor said (rather sternly) that being too strong isn't a good

thing, even pointing out how hard I'd been trying not to cry while

telling him about the divorce and depression. To humor him, I told him

not to worry, I did plenty of crying in private every night!

I told him my greatest worry was that this situational depression

might result in a need for an anti-depressant -- and that worry was

adding to my depressive state. I told him I really, really did not

want an anti-depressant because I feel they're often over-prescribed,

and I honestly thought my mood would lift when my situation changed

(i.e., when the kids' dad would move out and divorce was final).

He agreed saying he thinks anti-depressants are over-prescribed these

days and agreed that he didn't think I needed them (I felt such a huge

rush of relief!) -- BUT he said he was keeping the door open about it

and if I changed my mind by the end of the week, then call him back

and he'd write a 'script. I'll always remember the sad look on his

face as he shook my hand good bye, like he failed his job -- he

couldn't magically fix me before leaving the exam room.

The following week, everything changed in a flash.

You see, when I saw my doctor, I'd been taking St. 's Wort for

about two weeks. I had hoped it would help lift my mood but so far I

was just swallowing the pill waiting for results. In fact, I don't

even remember if I mentioned taking it to my doctor, which is odd

because the nurse always asks for a list of meds, supplements and

herbs.

But the week after seeing my doctor, I had an appointment with our

attorney (my husband and I used the same attorney for our divorce). My

husband forgot to show up for the appointment -- I knew he'd forget

and I knew he'd later chastize me for not reminding him but I

purposely didn't remind him because I decided that wasn't my job

anymore.

So I met with the attorney and as I left the office and stepped out on

the sidewalk, something weird happened. It was like someone had

reached up and turned this huge 1,500 watt lightbulb on over my head.

Remember the scene in Dicken's A Christmas Carol, when Scrooge

wakes up and realizes it's Christmas Day and it's not too late to

redeem himself and enjoy the day? That's how I felt!

Standing there on the sidewalk, I suddenly realized, hey it's not too

late; it's still early December and I feel like baking Christmas

cookies and singing carols and shopping! So I drove to the grocery

store and bought everything I needed for our favorite seasonal recipes

-- especially cookie supplies.

As I was unpacking groceries at home, I looked at the bottle of St.

's Wort and in small letters it said that it may take three weeks

to see results.

I was stunned. That day marked exactly three weeks that I'd been

taking it! I've read other literature that says it often takes six

weeks to feel effects. I guess God knew I'd hit my limit so decided to

speed things up for me!

Anyway, this worked for me at a really low point. I was doing

everything right that I knew to do: exercise, proper diet, rest,

talking things out -- but the St. 's Wort was a life saver.

And knowing even more now then I did back then about the importance of

diet and proper nutrition, I would make even more changes.

I know many of you are probably sick to death of hearing me extol the

virtues of magnesium, but I absolutely cannot emphasize enough its

necessity.

Some of you have mentioned not only depression and stress but muscle

aches from stress, and that's sending up red flags to me.

Women raising young children are often the worst about taking care of

self. We're usually sleep deprived and eat on the run, and often we're

caught up in dieting fads to get that baby fat off our bodies, so we

live on diet soft drinks, Slim Fast and meal-on-the-go bars (and

leftovers from our children's plates).

But even with a perfect diet, you can have nutritional deficiencies,

and if you're physically and mentally stressed then you're depleting

your body more.

I want to encourage you to try two things right now, first, get a good

magnesium like Solgar's magnesium glycinate and start taking it -- at

least 100 mg. every morning; add another 100 mg. in the afternoon.

Give the magnesium some time (though I wasn't depressed when I started

taking it last year, it sure helped energize me and it squelched my

insomnia!).

Then try some St. 's Wort, make sure the type you get says it's

standardized. If you can afford to get one that says it's made in

Germany, then even better for you're assured of it's standardization.

Also, never overlook the importance of water, lots of water. I still

don't get enough but it's so important. Lack of water can cause

sluggishness, fuzzy thinking, fatigue and headaches.

I'm so sorry that many of you are going through these feelings right

now but I'm glad we have each other. CF is our common bond, but it's

important to acknowledge that CF is only a part of our lives.

You have to really soulsearch where your greatest concerns, anxieties

lie -- sometimes it's too easy to point the finger at CF. I think we

forget that if CF wasn't in our lives, life still wouldn't be a bed or

roses. Just take it a step at a time, do your best, and don't be

afraid to tell people what you need from them in that moment.

Kim

I just want to mention how stressed I feel of late. I am glad I am

not abnormal. Although Eilish is 5 1/2 I feel very, well, sad really.

I don't know what exactly triggered it. All I want to do is sleep all

day, or cant sleep at all at night. Like you my shoulders, and back

are so tense that I feel they are shaking on the inside, but you cant

see it on the outside. I just don't feel like doing anything. I am

usually ' full of life'. My kids would never know how I feel. I took

7 kids to the park yesterday, so I would never ever let it affect

their life. But I feel so anxious. Who ever brought this subject up

thank you so much. I would never have mentioned it otherwise.

(Australia)

> Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

>

>

> Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

>

> , hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages 4,5,

and 6.

> My 6

> and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very depressing at

> times I

> have recently been put on medication for stress and musles spasms

caused

> by

> stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be strong

but

> it

> is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it all

in.

> I

> just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all out!

Scream

> to

> the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here if

you

> ever

> need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

> Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, you are not alone. The stress is unbearable and holding it in to hide

it from your kids is good for them, i do that too, but it's hurting me

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I never fail to be impressed by your posts. I save many of them for

future reference. Thanks being a part of this group.

Gale

> I just want to mention how stressed I feel of late. I am glad I

am

> not abnormal. Although Eilish is 5 1/2 I feel very, well, sad

really.

> I don't know what exactly triggered it. All I want to do is sleep

all

> day, or cant sleep at all at night. Like you my shoulders, and

back

> are so tense that I feel they are shaking on the inside, but you

cant

> see it on the outside. I just don't feel like doing anything. I

am

> usually ' full of life'. My kids would never know how I feel. I

took

> 7 kids to the park yesterday, so I would never ever let it affect

> their life. But I feel so anxious. Who ever brought this subject

up

> thank you so much. I would never have mentioned it otherwise.

>

> (Australia)

>

> > Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

> >

> >

> > Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

> >

> > , hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages

4,5,

> and 6.

> > My 6

> > and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very

depressing at

> > times I

> > have recently been put on medication for stress and musles

spasms

> caused

> > by

> > stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be

strong

> but

> > it

> > is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it

all

> in.

> > I

> > just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all

out!

> Scream

> > to

> > the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here

if

> you

> > ever

> > need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

> > Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I never fail to be impressed by your posts. I save many of them for

future reference. Thanks being a part of this group.

Gale

> I just want to mention how stressed I feel of late. I am glad I

am

> not abnormal. Although Eilish is 5 1/2 I feel very, well, sad

really.

> I don't know what exactly triggered it. All I want to do is sleep

all

> day, or cant sleep at all at night. Like you my shoulders, and

back

> are so tense that I feel they are shaking on the inside, but you

cant

> see it on the outside. I just don't feel like doing anything. I

am

> usually ' full of life'. My kids would never know how I feel. I

took

> 7 kids to the park yesterday, so I would never ever let it affect

> their life. But I feel so anxious. Who ever brought this subject

up

> thank you so much. I would never have mentioned it otherwise.

>

> (Australia)

>

> > Re: trying to cope/life as a parent

> >

> >

> > Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

> >

> > , hi mine name is and i have three daughters ages

4,5,

> and 6.

> > My 6

> > and 4 yr old have CF. I know how you feel, it is very

depressing at

> > times I

> > have recently been put on medication for stress and musles

spasms

> caused

> > by

> > stress. I guess i have finally let it get to me. I try to be

strong

> but

> > it

> > is hard. My husband doesn't like to talk about it, so I hold it

all

> in.

> > I

> > just want to go to the top of a high mountain and let it all

out!

> Scream

> > to

> > the top of my lungs and maybe i'd feel better. haha! I am here

if

> you

> > ever

> > need anyone to talk to, maybe we can help each other.

> > Does anyone else feel this way? or is it just me?

> >

> >

> >