Juggling the medical lingo

[Guest guest]

Medical Terms

Benign...........What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.............What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section.....A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.

Colic...............A sheep dog.

Coma...............A punctuation mark.

D & C................Where Washington is.

Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.

Enema.............Not a friend.

Fester............Quicker than someone else.

Fibula............A small lie.

G.I.Series.....World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.

Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.

Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff.....A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node..............I knew it.

Outpatient......A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.

Pelvis...........Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative...........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.

Secretion.......Hiding something

Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.

Seizure....Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor...........More than one.

Urine...............Opposite of mine.

Varicose.........Near by

Hospital........The biggest building

in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or s lumber mill.

[Guest guest]

I loved the medical lingo!!!!!!!! I will print it out and make copies for

all my friends!!!!!!!!!

Rosemary from New York with 3 children with CF -

they are 12.5, 10, 6......

I coined the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; we have a dog we named -are you ready

for this - TOBI after their medication!!! At least it wasn't albuterol or

Coly...