(funny)BRENDA and gang: maybe cf-related! (feel free to delete!)

[Guest guest]

I am not sure about this, ; I got so " cracked up " about that one,

that I very nearly did " crack down " and land on the floor; Torsten may

have something here.

My husband's literary agent at University of California Press here in

Berkeley was Max Knight, now deceased, who was German-born and

who was so good at English that he wrote the manual for language use

age for the press for editting purposes. He stalwartly maintained that

only Germans REALLY understood English. I came to feel that he was

right. His example of a misplaced modifier in the manual was:

Wrong: " Eating my lunch, the train rushed past me! " (really " cracked me

up! " );

Right: " As I was eating my lunch, the train rushed past me. " Somehow,

the image of that train rushing past and eating that poor person's lunch

has stuck with me for over thirty-five years since I first read it.

Moreover, Max was appalled at the habit of many Americans who usu

ally say, in recipes, and cookbooks, for example, " put five cups full of

flour in a clean bowl, " etc. He posed the question: " Does the chef, cook or

home cook actually get out a clean cup for each measure, or

more accurately, does the chef in fact put five cupsful of flour in a clean

bowl, re-dipping the same identical cup? " We all know the answer!

I have come to believe that none of us knows how to speak English at

all--we basicly guess--and sometimes it is pretty funny! After all, the

poor language is made up of uncountable other languages, and then

has a combined Latin and Greek grammar slammed on top of it.

Max and his wife were personal friends of ours who often came to din

ner and our children were fascinated by his language useage explana

tions: to wit, to our kids, " You do not say " Pick and I up at the train

station, " as you would not say " Pick I up at the train station. " You say,

" Pick and ME up at the train station, as you would say, Pick ME

up at the train station. " Oddly, the kids were entranced!

Max's favorite example of a person speaking American English and

really " blowing it, " was: " If Roosevelt were president, then Truman were

vice-president. " He pointed out carefully to our kids, that as this was

NOT a condition contrary to fact, the correct statement had, of necessity

to be: " If Roosevelt was president, then Truman was vice-president. "

My youngest gave the above careful consideration and asked whether

it was not the reverse, as Truman was not Roosevelt's vice-president

during each of his terms.

We feared for Max! But he was up to it and suggested that the kid

major in English; Kid did not, but could beat Max at chess any day,

and he loved it. This was our kid with cystic fibrosis, and of course,

I was present, too, so that does indeed make it all cystic fibrosis-related!

AND, of course, does prove that Germans are the truly correct speakers of

English.

This said from a person who can read and write nine languages, none

of which is German, despite my having been married to a German hus

band all those years! He also taught English in addition to writing!

Okay--I'll quit, already!

Love to all at cfparents,

n Rojas