feeling overwhelmed

[Guest guest]

Hi E!!

I'm single mom, 3 sons. My son is now 16 but OCD came

into his/our life right after he began 6th grade. (he's in 11th now)

has a twin who isn't identical, and they are nothing alike

personality-wise either. My oldest son is 20.

I - and many others here - can certainly identify with

the " overwhelmed " feeling! Worn out, depressed, short-tempered,

emotionally drained, easy to cry, near collapse...a few other things

I felt over those first years of OCD! Oh, let's not forget feeling

like " mean old mom " either, LOL!

Happy to say now that things are definitely better and OCD isn't

controlling 's or family life any longer!! That didn't happen

overnight (who could be that lucky!) but took...about all of middle

school years. His OCD was really bad thru 6th grade (long story

there!) and then thru 7th and 8th grades somewhat better, a lot

better, seemingly gone, coming back...sort of waxing & waning but

luckily never getting so bad again as that first year. He's been

great all thru 9th, 10th and now 11th grade. I think OCD is " still

there " but just not so obvious or interfering any longer.

So - during those tough times, days, hours, LONG nights...I learned

to find some " me " time when I could. Since I love to read, I usually

had about 2 books going and one would be in the bedroom, another in

the bathroom; I joke about all my bathroom trips and the long times I

stayed in there! I took extra time if I went alone out on an

errand. I like being outside, so any work outside to do I

also " lingered. " Discovered all those microwave meals(!) available

so I'd have " no cooking " nights (those nights began to increase too,

LOL). Long showers. Favorite treats (chocolate!) just for ME!

I know what you mean about the " noise. " And I think when we're under

stress, things irritate us MUCH more! And that might include your

daughter's tics. I believe stress can increase tics too, just like

stress can make OCD worsen. With everything your family is dealing

with, sounds like you could all each use some " me " time and also some

fun family time, 1:1 fun with daughter and others, etc. But

definitely get that ME time in for yourself. I know with my 3 sons

all needing attention, I was frantic for time alone and stressed and

overwhelmed sometimes. Also, many times I apologized to for

losing my patience with him, reminded him (and myself) that it was

OCD driving me crazy, not , they were *separate*, etc. He had

a lot of touching OCD things, some rituals, repetitive things and a

lot of stuff involved ME with getting him un-stuck, or through an

episode, etc.

What all is the counselor working on with your daughter, any examples

of daughter's OCD and what counselor suggests/is doing?

We couldn't find anyone around here experienced with OCD and so I

read LOTS, joined this group, researched online (OCD Foundation is a

good site) and with mostly the support & help from this group, we

somehow managed to get through all that to this good point in time!

What is your family doing about the mercury toxicity??

Gotta go, guess this got kind of long anyway, but, again, welcome to

the group!!

single mom, 3 sons

, 16 with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/autism

>

> Hi. I'm new to the group. I have an 8yo daughter who began showing

> signs of OCD or Tourette's at about age 4. It's slowly getting

worse.

> At first we were hoping it was just tics, but she's showing other

[Guest guest]

Hi E!!

I'm single mom, 3 sons. My son is now 16 but OCD came

into his/our life right after he began 6th grade. (he's in 11th now)

has a twin who isn't identical, and they are nothing alike

personality-wise either. My oldest son is 20.

I - and many others here - can certainly identify with

the " overwhelmed " feeling! Worn out, depressed, short-tempered,

emotionally drained, easy to cry, near collapse...a few other things

I felt over those first years of OCD! Oh, let's not forget feeling

like " mean old mom " either, LOL!

Happy to say now that things are definitely better and OCD isn't

controlling 's or family life any longer!! That didn't happen

overnight (who could be that lucky!) but took...about all of middle

school years. His OCD was really bad thru 6th grade (long story

there!) and then thru 7th and 8th grades somewhat better, a lot

better, seemingly gone, coming back...sort of waxing & waning but

luckily never getting so bad again as that first year. He's been

great all thru 9th, 10th and now 11th grade. I think OCD is " still

there " but just not so obvious or interfering any longer.

So - during those tough times, days, hours, LONG nights...I learned

to find some " me " time when I could. Since I love to read, I usually

had about 2 books going and one would be in the bedroom, another in

the bathroom; I joke about all my bathroom trips and the long times I

stayed in there! I took extra time if I went alone out on an

errand. I like being outside, so any work outside to do I

also " lingered. " Discovered all those microwave meals(!) available

so I'd have " no cooking " nights (those nights began to increase too,

LOL). Long showers. Favorite treats (chocolate!) just for ME!

I know what you mean about the " noise. " And I think when we're under

stress, things irritate us MUCH more! And that might include your

daughter's tics. I believe stress can increase tics too, just like

stress can make OCD worsen. With everything your family is dealing

with, sounds like you could all each use some " me " time and also some

fun family time, 1:1 fun with daughter and others, etc. But

definitely get that ME time in for yourself. I know with my 3 sons

all needing attention, I was frantic for time alone and stressed and

overwhelmed sometimes. Also, many times I apologized to for

losing my patience with him, reminded him (and myself) that it was

OCD driving me crazy, not , they were *separate*, etc. He had

a lot of touching OCD things, some rituals, repetitive things and a

lot of stuff involved ME with getting him un-stuck, or through an

episode, etc.

What all is the counselor working on with your daughter, any examples

of daughter's OCD and what counselor suggests/is doing?

We couldn't find anyone around here experienced with OCD and so I

read LOTS, joined this group, researched online (OCD Foundation is a

good site) and with mostly the support & help from this group, we

somehow managed to get through all that to this good point in time!

What is your family doing about the mercury toxicity??

Gotta go, guess this got kind of long anyway, but, again, welcome to

the group!!

single mom, 3 sons

, 16 with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/autism

>

> Hi. I'm new to the group. I have an 8yo daughter who began showing

> signs of OCD or Tourette's at about age 4. It's slowly getting

worse.

> At first we were hoping it was just tics, but she's showing other

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thank you so much for your reply!

I looked up dysgraphia (I had never heard of it), and my daughter might have

that, too. I let her hold her pencil oddly now, and she forms her letters

ok like that. But the capital letter thing is a problem. Since we

homeschool, I have chosen not to focus on her writing much, so I don't know

how much of a problem it is. She hates to write, and fights it all the

time. So a lot of her work is oral, and I " sneak " in writing, and she's

more willing now. But it's good to know it may be more than just her

refusing to do something; I can be aware of it.

Yes, I need to keep doing " me " things. I do have a secret stash of

chocolate. I'm trying to get a babysitter sometimes (my husband works

horrible hours, and often is called away at the last moment, so it's hard to

count on him). I'm going to look into yoga for the whole family. Although

I homeschool, the kids spend one day a week at a friends (I have her kids on

another day), and that helps. And last night I asked my husband to not play

music in the evening. I desperately need some quiet time. He often works

out of the home at night, and plays music. So he said he can put on

headphones.

I need to get going on more routines to simplifly life. I just started a

meal schedule for breakfast, lunch and dinner so I know what we're having.

I stocked up on some frozen dinners yesterday. I do a lot of cooking

because we try to eat only natural food (no additives, colors,

preservatives, etc), which limits us somewhat. But I'm serving more whole

grain pasta and sauce with a vegetable, as opposed to " cooking " a nice

dinner. I'm also trying to declutter.

Anyway, I don't need to go into more details, but I'm trying to get my act

together. I feel better this morning, and your email helped. I need to

take things one step at a time, not worry about what might happen (I'm so

afraid my son will develop OCD too), and just do what I can. My family,

unfortunately, isn't very supportive. My in-laws live far away (which is

actually a good thing), and my mom's idea of helping is to suggest I put the

kids in school. I won't go into all the reasons I don't want to do that and

don't think it would be a good idea, but I will say that that wouldn't help

much, since I would still have my son at home (he's 4).

As for mercury, we see a holistic doctor and are using a seaweed formula to

bind with the heavy metals. Then we take supplements to put the good stuff

back in that the seaweed takes it. It's slower than chelation, but safer

and gentler. Our mercury levels are falling. Mine was the most severe, and

my health is much, much better. But I still tire very easily (chronic

fatigue).

The counselor has been working with my daughter to not do the tics except

once a day, when she can do all she wants. This hasn't worked at all, and

was stressful to her. So I'm trying to get her to wait for a minute or so.

The counselor also talked to her about things she enjoys, and having her do

those. And we're trying to increase her exercise. Sometimes when she's

feeling really full of tics, she goes and runs around the house several

times.

But I think more can be done. I don't think the counselor has much

experience with OCD, and I think we need someone else. I really like her

for other things. Last year things were awful, and we saw her as a family

counselor. She really helped us out (getting more routines, changing a lot

of parenting things--I was a yeller, and doing other things), and I think

she still can help us. But not with the OCD.

So, I've gone on and on. It helps to get my thoughts out. My friends are

sympathetic, but really don't understand. I'm so glad I've found this

group.

Thanks again, Chris.

-- E.

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi E!!

>

> I'm single mom, 3 sons. My son is now 16 but OCD came

> into his/our life right after he began 6th grade. (he's in 11th now)

> has a twin who isn't identical, and they are nothing alike

> personality-wise either. My oldest son is 20.

>

> I - and many others here - can certainly identify with

> the " overwhelmed " feeling! Worn out, depressed, short-tempered,

> emotionally drained, easy to cry, near collapse...a few other things

> I felt over those first years of OCD! Oh, let's not forget feeling

> like " mean old mom " either, LOL!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thank you so much for your reply!

I looked up dysgraphia (I had never heard of it), and my daughter might have

that, too. I let her hold her pencil oddly now, and she forms her letters

ok like that. But the capital letter thing is a problem. Since we

homeschool, I have chosen not to focus on her writing much, so I don't know

how much of a problem it is. She hates to write, and fights it all the

time. So a lot of her work is oral, and I " sneak " in writing, and she's

more willing now. But it's good to know it may be more than just her

refusing to do something; I can be aware of it.

Yes, I need to keep doing " me " things. I do have a secret stash of

chocolate. I'm trying to get a babysitter sometimes (my husband works

horrible hours, and often is called away at the last moment, so it's hard to

count on him). I'm going to look into yoga for the whole family. Although

I homeschool, the kids spend one day a week at a friends (I have her kids on

another day), and that helps. And last night I asked my husband to not play

music in the evening. I desperately need some quiet time. He often works

out of the home at night, and plays music. So he said he can put on

headphones.

I need to get going on more routines to simplifly life. I just started a

meal schedule for breakfast, lunch and dinner so I know what we're having.

I stocked up on some frozen dinners yesterday. I do a lot of cooking

because we try to eat only natural food (no additives, colors,

preservatives, etc), which limits us somewhat. But I'm serving more whole

grain pasta and sauce with a vegetable, as opposed to " cooking " a nice

dinner. I'm also trying to declutter.

Anyway, I don't need to go into more details, but I'm trying to get my act

together. I feel better this morning, and your email helped. I need to

take things one step at a time, not worry about what might happen (I'm so

afraid my son will develop OCD too), and just do what I can. My family,

unfortunately, isn't very supportive. My in-laws live far away (which is

actually a good thing), and my mom's idea of helping is to suggest I put the

kids in school. I won't go into all the reasons I don't want to do that and

don't think it would be a good idea, but I will say that that wouldn't help

much, since I would still have my son at home (he's 4).

As for mercury, we see a holistic doctor and are using a seaweed formula to

bind with the heavy metals. Then we take supplements to put the good stuff

back in that the seaweed takes it. It's slower than chelation, but safer

and gentler. Our mercury levels are falling. Mine was the most severe, and

my health is much, much better. But I still tire very easily (chronic

fatigue).

The counselor has been working with my daughter to not do the tics except

once a day, when she can do all she wants. This hasn't worked at all, and

was stressful to her. So I'm trying to get her to wait for a minute or so.

The counselor also talked to her about things she enjoys, and having her do

those. And we're trying to increase her exercise. Sometimes when she's

feeling really full of tics, she goes and runs around the house several

times.

But I think more can be done. I don't think the counselor has much

experience with OCD, and I think we need someone else. I really like her

for other things. Last year things were awful, and we saw her as a family

counselor. She really helped us out (getting more routines, changing a lot

of parenting things--I was a yeller, and doing other things), and I think

she still can help us. But not with the OCD.

So, I've gone on and on. It helps to get my thoughts out. My friends are

sympathetic, but really don't understand. I'm so glad I've found this

group.

Thanks again, Chris.

-- E.

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi E!!

>

> I'm single mom, 3 sons. My son is now 16 but OCD came

> into his/our life right after he began 6th grade. (he's in 11th now)

> has a twin who isn't identical, and they are nothing alike

> personality-wise either. My oldest son is 20.

>

> I - and many others here - can certainly identify with

> the " overwhelmed " feeling! Worn out, depressed, short-tempered,

> emotionally drained, easy to cry, near collapse...a few other things

> I felt over those first years of OCD! Oh, let's not forget feeling

> like " mean old mom " either, LOL!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , welcome to the group. First, you have my sympathy living with two

people with OCD/TS. It's no wonder you feel stressed out sometimes! It

seems you have some sensory issues, sensitivity to noise etc., which is also

common in our OCD kids.

CBT/ERP only works with OCD symptoms, obsessions and compulsions, not with

tics. There are medications that can reduce tics, something you may want to

talk about with your daughter's doctor. Tics wax and wane so your

daughter's current explosion could settle down at any point, there is at

least that hope. Some compulsions, such as tapping, are hard to tell from

tics: generally OCD compulsions are done to relieve anxious feelings, while

tics are done to relieve an unpleasant or irritating physical sensation,

sort of like an itch. My daughter's pdoc frankly " diagnosed " by her

reaction to meds: If a behavior diminished after starting an SSRI, it was

OCD related, if it diminished or disappeared following the addition of

Risperdal, it was tic-related LOL. The combo of an effective SSRI with a

small dose of Risperdal worked really well to control my child's OCD and

tics. She had an abrupt onset of severe OCD at almost 5 years old, with

tics starting a couple of months after that. She'll be 12 in January and

has been doing very well for a number of years.

How to stay sane? LOL there are earplugs...seriously, it's important to

take care of yourself first, so you will be available and able to help your

child. Sort of like the bit on the airplanes, where you are advised in an

emergency to put on your own oxygen mask first before putting one on your

child. Taking care of yourself can mean anything from medication (it's not

uncommon for parents of OCD kids to take medication for depression or

feeling overwhelmed for awhile), to taking a walk every evening when your dh

and dd are probably at their noisy worsts, to whatever else you need in

order to be comfortable and function. I've been known to send my ticcing or

compulsing child on some errand or other to get a break--this helps her too

since it frequently distracts her from the tics or compulsion for awhile.

Take your daughter and a friend to an indoor pool or a park and let them

play for an hour or two while you read, embroider, whatever de-stresses you.

Since you homeschool, you are not getting that break through the day that

helped me keep it together back when my dd's symptoms were severe. It's

going to be awhile before your daughter's disorders are brought under tight

control, so you need to plan for the long term.

Again, welcome, post again and let us know how things are going.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " plevans5855 " <plbus@...>

> Hi. I'm new to the group. I have an 8yo daughter who began showing

> signs of OCD or Tourette's at about age 4. It's slowly getting worse.

> At first we were hoping it was just tics, but she's showing other

> signs. Sometimes she has to sit at a specific place at a table, or

> things on the table have to be only in certain spots. Yesterday she

> was almost hysterical when people looked at her.

>

> We are seeing a counselor, and she is wonderful in some ways. But I

> don't think she is doing CBT (I am not sure if what she is doing is

> part of CBT), so I will be looking into that.

>

> My daughter is getting worse and worse. The tics are almost non-stop now.

>

> Here is my question: how do parents deal with these problems and keep

> their sanity? I am someone who doesn't like a lot of noise. People

> tapping their fingers, for example, drives me crazy. My husband also

> has OCD, and gets on my nerves terribly. He is always tapping

> something, or making some noise.

>

> Part of me knows this is petty. There are parents dealing with much

> more severe cases. But it is suddenly too much. The last 2 years I

> have been dealing with huge health issues (I have mercury toxicity,

> chronic fatigue, and a slew of other problems--in fact, the whole

> family has mercury toxicity, and we've been dealing with that), I'm

> having marital issues (we're in counseling), and now my daughter is

> getting so much worse. We homeschool, but if her behavior " bugs " me

> too much, I may need to send her to school, which I don't think would

> be in her best interest, but I would do it if I kept losing my temper

> at her. My daughter also has dental issues, and problems with her

> back/hips/legs. She also just started getting restless legs. Most

> weeks we see at least 2 doctors for one thing or another.

>

> I am feeling so overwhelmed. Any insight into how to keep my sanity

> so I can be a good mom to her (it's not her fault after all!) would be

> appreciated. I'm so glad I found this group, because I think it will

> help.

>

> Sorry for venting--but I do feel a little better.

>

> Thanks!

>

> -- E.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the support, Kathy!

I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might be

in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things in

perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

been great for that.

Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

-- E.

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi , welcome to the group. First, you have my sympathy living with

> two

> people with OCD/TS. It's no wonder you feel stressed out sometimes! It

> seems you have some sensory issues, sensitivity to noise etc., which is

> also

> common in our OCD kids.

>

> CBT/ERP only works with OCD symptoms, obsessions and compulsions, not with

> tics. There are medications that can reduce tics, something you may want

> to

> talk about with your daughter's doctor. Tics wax and wane so your

> daughter's current explosion could settle down at any point, there is at

> least that hope. Some compulsions, such as tapping, are hard to tell from

> tics: generally OCD compulsions are done to relieve anxious feelings,

> while

> tics are done to relieve an unpleasant or irritating physical sensation,

> sort of like an itch. My daughter's pdoc frankly " diagnosed " by her

> reaction to meds: If a behavior diminished after starting an SSRI, it was

> OCD related, if it diminished or disappeared following the addition of

> Risperdal, it was tic-related LOL. The combo of an effective SSRI with a

> small dose of Risperdal worked really well to control my child's OCD and

> tics. She had an abrupt onset of severe OCD at almost 5 years old, with

> tics starting a couple of months after that. She'll be 12 in January and

> has been doing very well for a number of years.

>

> How to stay sane? LOL there are earplugs...seriously, it's important to

> take care of yourself first, so you will be available and able to help

> your

> child. Sort of like the bit on the airplanes, where you are advised in an

> emergency to put on your own oxygen mask first before putting one on your

> child. Taking care of yourself can mean anything from medication (it's

> not

> uncommon for parents of OCD kids to take medication for depression or

> feeling overwhelmed for awhile), to taking a walk every evening when your

> dh

> and dd are probably at their noisy worsts, to whatever else you need in

> order to be comfortable and function. I've been known to send my ticcing

> or

> compulsing child on some errand or other to get a break--this helps her

> too

> since it frequently distracts her from the tics or compulsion for awhile.

> Take your daughter and a friend to an indoor pool or a park and let them

> play for an hour or two while you read, embroider, whatever de-stresses

> you.

> Since you homeschool, you are not getting that break through the day that

> helped me keep it together back when my dd's symptoms were severe. It's

> going to be awhile before your daughter's disorders are brought under

> tight

> control, so you need to plan for the long term.

>

> Again, welcome, post again and let us know how things are going.

>

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " plevans5855 " <plbus@...>

>> Hi. I'm new to the group. I have an 8yo daughter who began showing

>> signs of OCD or Tourette's at about age 4. It's slowly getting worse.

>> At first we were hoping it was just tics, but she's showing other

>> signs. Sometimes she has to sit at a specific place at a table, or

>> things on the table have to be only in certain spots. Yesterday she

>> was almost hysterical when people looked at her.

>>

>> We are seeing a counselor, and she is wonderful in some ways. But I

>> don't think she is doing CBT (I am not sure if what she is doing is

>> part of CBT), so I will be looking into that.

>>

>> My daughter is getting worse and worse. The tics are almost non-stop

>> now.

>>

>> Here is my question: how do parents deal with these problems and keep

>> their sanity? I am someone who doesn't like a lot of noise. People

>> tapping their fingers, for example, drives me crazy. My husband also

>> has OCD, and gets on my nerves terribly. He is always tapping

>> something, or making some noise.

>>

>> Part of me knows this is petty. There are parents dealing with much

>> more severe cases. But it is suddenly too much. The last 2 years I

>> have been dealing with huge health issues (I have mercury toxicity,

>> chronic fatigue, and a slew of other problems--in fact, the whole

>> family has mercury toxicity, and we've been dealing with that), I'm

>> having marital issues (we're in counseling), and now my daughter is

>> getting so much worse. We homeschool, but if her behavior " bugs " me

>> too much, I may need to send her to school, which I don't think would

>> be in her best interest, but I would do it if I kept losing my temper

>> at her. My daughter also has dental issues, and problems with her

>> back/hips/legs. She also just started getting restless legs. Most

>> weeks we see at least 2 doctors for one thing or another.

>>

>> I am feeling so overwhelmed. Any insight into how to keep my sanity

>> so I can be a good mom to her (it's not her fault after all!) would be

>> appreciated. I'm so glad I found this group, because I think it will

>> help.

>>

>> Sorry for venting--but I do feel a little better.

>>

>> Thanks!

>>

>> -- E.

>

>

>

>

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>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the support, Kathy!

I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might be

in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things in

perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

been great for that.

Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

-- E.

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi , welcome to the group. First, you have my sympathy living with

> two

> people with OCD/TS. It's no wonder you feel stressed out sometimes! It

> seems you have some sensory issues, sensitivity to noise etc., which is

> also

> common in our OCD kids.

>

> CBT/ERP only works with OCD symptoms, obsessions and compulsions, not with

> tics. There are medications that can reduce tics, something you may want

> to

> talk about with your daughter's doctor. Tics wax and wane so your

> daughter's current explosion could settle down at any point, there is at

> least that hope. Some compulsions, such as tapping, are hard to tell from

> tics: generally OCD compulsions are done to relieve anxious feelings,

> while

> tics are done to relieve an unpleasant or irritating physical sensation,

> sort of like an itch. My daughter's pdoc frankly " diagnosed " by her

> reaction to meds: If a behavior diminished after starting an SSRI, it was

> OCD related, if it diminished or disappeared following the addition of

> Risperdal, it was tic-related LOL. The combo of an effective SSRI with a

> small dose of Risperdal worked really well to control my child's OCD and

> tics. She had an abrupt onset of severe OCD at almost 5 years old, with

> tics starting a couple of months after that. She'll be 12 in January and

> has been doing very well for a number of years.

>

> How to stay sane? LOL there are earplugs...seriously, it's important to

> take care of yourself first, so you will be available and able to help

> your

> child. Sort of like the bit on the airplanes, where you are advised in an

> emergency to put on your own oxygen mask first before putting one on your

> child. Taking care of yourself can mean anything from medication (it's

> not

> uncommon for parents of OCD kids to take medication for depression or

> feeling overwhelmed for awhile), to taking a walk every evening when your

> dh

> and dd are probably at their noisy worsts, to whatever else you need in

> order to be comfortable and function. I've been known to send my ticcing

> or

> compulsing child on some errand or other to get a break--this helps her

> too

> since it frequently distracts her from the tics or compulsion for awhile.

> Take your daughter and a friend to an indoor pool or a park and let them

> play for an hour or two while you read, embroider, whatever de-stresses

> you.

> Since you homeschool, you are not getting that break through the day that

> helped me keep it together back when my dd's symptoms were severe. It's

> going to be awhile before your daughter's disorders are brought under

> tight

> control, so you need to plan for the long term.

>

> Again, welcome, post again and let us know how things are going.

>

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " plevans5855 " <plbus@...>

>> Hi. I'm new to the group. I have an 8yo daughter who began showing

>> signs of OCD or Tourette's at about age 4. It's slowly getting worse.

>> At first we were hoping it was just tics, but she's showing other

>> signs. Sometimes she has to sit at a specific place at a table, or

>> things on the table have to be only in certain spots. Yesterday she

>> was almost hysterical when people looked at her.

>>

>> We are seeing a counselor, and she is wonderful in some ways. But I

>> don't think she is doing CBT (I am not sure if what she is doing is

>> part of CBT), so I will be looking into that.

>>

>> My daughter is getting worse and worse. The tics are almost non-stop

>> now.

>>

>> Here is my question: how do parents deal with these problems and keep

>> their sanity? I am someone who doesn't like a lot of noise. People

>> tapping their fingers, for example, drives me crazy. My husband also

>> has OCD, and gets on my nerves terribly. He is always tapping

>> something, or making some noise.

>>

>> Part of me knows this is petty. There are parents dealing with much

>> more severe cases. But it is suddenly too much. The last 2 years I

>> have been dealing with huge health issues (I have mercury toxicity,

>> chronic fatigue, and a slew of other problems--in fact, the whole

>> family has mercury toxicity, and we've been dealing with that), I'm

>> having marital issues (we're in counseling), and now my daughter is

>> getting so much worse. We homeschool, but if her behavior " bugs " me

>> too much, I may need to send her to school, which I don't think would

>> be in her best interest, but I would do it if I kept losing my temper

>> at her. My daughter also has dental issues, and problems with her

>> back/hips/legs. She also just started getting restless legs. Most

>> weeks we see at least 2 doctors for one thing or another.

>>

>> I am feeling so overwhelmed. Any insight into how to keep my sanity

>> so I can be a good mom to her (it's not her fault after all!) would be

>> appreciated. I'm so glad I found this group, because I think it will

>> help.

>>

>> Sorry for venting--but I do feel a little better.

>>

>> Thanks!

>>

>> -- E.

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

> / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

> Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

> Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

> Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

> louisharkins@... .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , I can't vouch for it personally--we only tried it for a short while

and my child was taking an SSRI at the time--but many list members have

reported good results with high doses of inositol powder, which is a B

vitamin. And though not considered an alternative treatment for OCD, expert

CBT/ERP is med free and has been proved to alter brain chemistry more toward

normal (non-OCD).

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " P & L " <plbus@...

> Thank you for the support, Kathy!

>

> I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

> I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might

> be

> in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things

> in

> perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

> been great for that.

>

> Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

> My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

>

> -- E.

[Guest guest]

Hi , I can't vouch for it personally--we only tried it for a short while

and my child was taking an SSRI at the time--but many list members have

reported good results with high doses of inositol powder, which is a B

vitamin. And though not considered an alternative treatment for OCD, expert

CBT/ERP is med free and has been proved to alter brain chemistry more toward

normal (non-OCD).

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " P & L " <plbus@...

> Thank you for the support, Kathy!

>

> I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

> I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might

> be

> in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things

> in

> perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

> been great for that.

>

> Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

> My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

>

> -- E.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Kathy! Tuesday I meet alone with my daughter's therapist, so I

can discuss these things with her. I didn't know they could actually alter

brain chemistry. And I can look into the inositol. Besides our regular

doctor, we also see a homeopath, and she is trying some things. We'll see

if it helps at all.

And I keep taking little breaks when I need them! I " m not sure I would be

so overwhelmed if it was just my daughter, but the whole family has medical

issues, including me, so I'm tired a lot. And my husband works a lot of

hours, and even when he is home, he doesn't take any lead in working with my

daughter's problems.

This group is great. Thanks to everyone.

--

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi , I can't vouch for it personally--we only tried it for a short

> while

> and my child was taking an SSRI at the time--but many list members have

> reported good results with high doses of inositol powder, which is a B

> vitamin. And though not considered an alternative treatment for OCD,

> expert

> CBT/ERP is med free and has been proved to alter brain chemistry more

> toward

> normal (non-OCD).

>

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " P & L " <plbus@...

>

>

>> Thank you for the support, Kathy!

>>

>> I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

>> I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might

>> be

>> in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things

>> in

>> perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

>> been great for that.

>>

>> Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

>> My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

>>

>> -- E.

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

> / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

> Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

> Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

> Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

> louisharkins@... .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Kathy! Tuesday I meet alone with my daughter's therapist, so I

can discuss these things with her. I didn't know they could actually alter

brain chemistry. And I can look into the inositol. Besides our regular

doctor, we also see a homeopath, and she is trying some things. We'll see

if it helps at all.

And I keep taking little breaks when I need them! I " m not sure I would be

so overwhelmed if it was just my daughter, but the whole family has medical

issues, including me, so I'm tired a lot. And my husband works a lot of

hours, and even when he is home, he doesn't take any lead in working with my

daughter's problems.

This group is great. Thanks to everyone.

--

Re: Feeling Overwhelmed

> Hi , I can't vouch for it personally--we only tried it for a short

> while

> and my child was taking an SSRI at the time--but many list members have

> reported good results with high doses of inositol powder, which is a B

> vitamin. And though not considered an alternative treatment for OCD,

> expert

> CBT/ERP is med free and has been proved to alter brain chemistry more

> toward

> normal (non-OCD).

>

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " P & L " <plbus@...

>

>

>> Thank you for the support, Kathy!

>>

>> I'm doing better. I'm beginning to think maybe I have mild OCD (or maybe

>> I'm just paranoid!) and that it might be adding to my stress. OCD might

>> be

>> in my family, so maybe I do have some. Anyway, I'm trying to keep things

>> in

>> perspective. Just knowing some options really helps, and this group has

>> been great for that.

>>

>> Has anyone in the group tried any alternative therapies with any success?

>> My preference is to avoid medicines unless we need to.

>>

>> -- E.

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

> / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

> Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

> Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

> Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

> louisharkins@... .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Hi Everyone. I'm at the point in the diet of begining the

supplements, however i'm a little overwhelemed at what we can also do

at the same time and have a couple of questions if thats ok?

>

> 1) do I take all the supplements (including the cod liver oil,

> electrolyte drink and the liquid chlorophyl) every day and if so

are the good and bad times ie all together.

==>Yes, all supplements are taken every day in the amounts listed in

my article, and also in our Candida Supplements Folder. It is a good

idea to stop taking all supplements 1 day every couple of weeks or 2

days every month to allow your body to re-adjust. Take supplements

with meals, except the electrolyte drink, which is taken with meals

and between meals.

>

> 2) Can I douche and do everyhting else in the women's files ( my

> main problem is vaginal)

==>Yes you can!

The best, Bee

[Guest guest]

I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

[Guest guest]

Oh ! One thing at a time. I actually took a break from family this

summer. It has been six glorious weeks of freedom. I love them and we

are close but some are scared for us, others are telling us to go to drs

we have already seen and think there is something wrong with us that

that was not enough. You simply can't please everyone and have to do

what you think is best. I am the worst at slowing down but finally did.

And in fact, now that I have slowed down things are getting better and I

have decided to return to family. We have a party Saturday that involves

meeting up with the crowd who thinks we should be OK since we went to

their dr. Later in the month I actually invited the scared members of

the family to visit us at the beachhouse we rented just so they can see

that everything really is OK enough.

Taking a break from the dr. in the absence of any new trouble can be a

very responsible thing to do. I did that last summer and it was only

after a visit to the dr that my son lost the limited speech he had and

generally regressed forcing me to call EI on my own and start the

rollercoaster ride of apraxia.

You can't take the break I had I suppose because your sister is pregnant

and your MIL is there.

I have no answers, just hope that things will get better for you. If it

helps and you can swing it, do something for yourself...a walk, nails

painted, a massage, dinner out. Small breaks are helpful too. We

actually drive 2 hours round trip to go to the beach at night for

anywhere from 1-3 hours depending on what my son dictates. Some nights

we don't get as far as the sand and one of us stays with him on the

boardwalk. Whatever we get we get. It is a waste of gas but never a

waste of time. The sound of the water soothes my soul, the salt air

feels good and on the great days, which are mostly all the time now,

everyone explores, learns and has fun. I blow off so much to do this, my

house is a wreck, my work needs to be done but what is left of my sanity

is preseved.

Hang in there!

Liz

susanarndtinteriors wrote:

>I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

>night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

>made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

>was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

>mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

>they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

>They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

>to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

>won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

>for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

>makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

>nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

>physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

>babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Why is your Mom in law with you?/? Mine drives me crazy and she only lives

4.9 miles away. Maybe you could get her a hotel room so that you have more

space. I know my kids try to play us (their parents) off of their

Grandparents on both sides. I was telling the grandparents about #2's great

progress and they replied " see, I told you that he would out grow it! " HA

It is because we (his parents) have pushed him so far!! THEN I get the kids

back after a weekend and they say, you need to really work with #2 as #1 is

so advanced #2 just gives up.. " UGH Welcome to MY world!

Anyway, Try not to feel too overwhelmed. You are doing the right things at

the right time and making progress!

There is only so much you can do at one time, as others have stated this is

a marathon not a sprint.

There was one lady (elem. Special ed teacher) at the gymnastics make up

class that said her nephew has apraxia but his mom (her sister) was too

career driven to do anything about it. That is really sad. There is such a

limited time to make a difference for the better for these kids.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

susanarndtinteriors

Sent: Monday, August 06, 2007 10:02 AM

Subject: [ ] feeling overwhelmed

I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

[Guest guest]

, your stories kill me! My mother in law lives .5 miles away and

my husband is an only child (translation: her house is a shrine to him).

With that said, we have come a long way over the years. The sad truth is

she is too old to help us out so while I miss out on the help I also

miss out on the grief that comes with it. Hang in there!

Zeissler wrote:

>Why is your Mom in law with you?/? Mine drives me crazy and she only lives

>4.9 miles away. Maybe you could get her a hotel room so that you have more

>space. I know my kids try to play us (their parents) off of their

>Grandparents on both sides. I was telling the grandparents about #2's great

>progress and they replied " see, I told you that he would out grow it! " HA

>It is because we (his parents) have pushed him so far!! THEN I get the kids

>back after a weekend and they say, you need to really work with #2 as #1 is

>so advanced #2 just gives up.. " UGH Welcome to MY world!

>

>

>

>Anyway, Try not to feel too overwhelmed. You are doing the right things at

>the right time and making progress!

>

>There is only so much you can do at one time, as others have stated this is

>a marathon not a sprint.

>

>

>

>There was one lady (elem. Special ed teacher) at the gymnastics make up

>class that said her nephew has apraxia but his mom (her sister) was too

>career driven to do anything about it. That is really sad. There is such a

>limited time to make a difference for the better for these kids.

>

>

>

> _____

>

>From:

>[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

>susanarndtinteriors

>Sent: Monday, August 06, 2007 10:02 AM

>

>Subject: [ ] feeling overwhelmed

>

>

>

>I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

>night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

>made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

>was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

>mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

>they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

>They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

>to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

>won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

>for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

>makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

>nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

>physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

>babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi :

I can relate to the mother-in-law problems...mine is older as well. I

had a heck of a time with her when Landon was around 2 years old. She

was in such denial that it drove me crazy talking to her. She lives

out of state...which was helpful, but the phone tends to still ring!

My other issue with her is she favors the older non-apraxic child.

While in denial, his sensory issues were all due to bad behavior. He

was naughty in her eyes. I could go on forever talking about how she

made me feel when we first figured out he was not just a late talker

and it was a serious speech disorder! I learned to ignore her comments

and just let them roll off my back. Nothing us or anyone else said was

going to change her thoughts. As long as you know that you are doing

the best you possibly can to help your son...that is all that matters.

Eventually mine came around (2yrs later), it just takes some people

longer to get it when it isn't an everyday thing for them to deal

with. Keep your head up and hopefully this will get better with time!

Best wishes,

Tina

>

> I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

> night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

> made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

> was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

> mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

> they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

> They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

> to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

> won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

> for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

> makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

> nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

> physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

> babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Liz

I had no idea that there were other son’s whose Mother’s “shrined” them.

Mine is basically an only child (next sib is 18 yrs older) My mother in law

is older as well (70’s) The no milk thing is really upsetting both sides

however…

I have a copy of the movie “Only the Lonely” with Candy. Great Movie.

So very very true…

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz

Sent: Monday, August 06, 2007 12:28 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] feeling overwhelmed

, your stories kill me! My mother in law lives .5 miles away and

my husband is an only child (translation: her house is a shrine to him).

With that said, we have come a long way over the years. The sad truth is

she is too old to help us out so while I miss out on the help I also

miss out on the grief that comes with it. Hang in there!

Zeissler wrote:

>Why is your Mom in law with you?/? Mine drives me crazy and she only lives

>4.9 miles away. Maybe you could get her a hotel room so that you have more

>space. I know my kids try to play us (their parents) off of their

>Grandparents on both sides. I was telling the grandparents about #2's great

>progress and they replied " see, I told you that he would out grow it! " HA

>It is because we (his parents) have pushed him so far!! THEN I get the kids

>back after a weekend and they say, you need to really work with #2 as #1 is

>so advanced #2 just gives up.. " UGH Welcome to MY world!

>

>

>

>Anyway, Try not to feel too overwhelmed. You are doing the right things at

>the right time and making progress!

>

>There is only so much you can do at one time, as others have stated this is

>a marathon not a sprint.

>

>

>

>There was one lady (elem. Special ed teacher) at the gymnastics make up

>class that said her nephew has apraxia but his mom (her sister) was too

>career driven to do anything about it. That is really sad. There is such a

>limited time to make a difference for the better for these kids.

>

>

>

> _____

>

>From: <mailto: %40>

>[mailto: <mailto: %40>

] On Behalf Of

>susanarndtinteriors

>Sent: Monday, August 06, 2007 10:02 AM

> <mailto: %40>

>Subject: [ ] feeling overwhelmed

>

>

>

>I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

>night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

>made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

>was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

>mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

>they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

>They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

>to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

>won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

>for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

>makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

>nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

>physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

>babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am finding, beyond this board, it is easier to not try to talk about

it. My current line is, has a speech delay, he's making progress

with diet and therapy, don't override my authority. That last part is a

self-defense thing that I only state if they start getting into the big

dicussions in which case I'll state what is wrong and why this is so

important. When I have been forced to have the big conversations I have

simply stated that there was more going on than I let on because I

wanted to be sure. I then explain that I have spent 18 months going to

all kinds of doctors, 9 months getting him therapy, and 3 months working

on diet and we are now doing great.

It's a simple story, saves them from insulting me, saves me from having

to be annoyed and allows us to appreciate each other for who we are, a

bunch of people who really do have the kids best interests at heart even

if we disagree.

I applaud you Tina for the amount of patience it must take to deal with

the favoritism thing. I think my emails show you I am not a patient

person and I am not so sure I could handle it as well as you do.

L

trmckenna1 wrote:

>Hi :

>I can relate to the mother-in-law problems...mine is older as well. I

>had a heck of a time with her when Landon was around 2 years old. She

>was in such denial that it drove me crazy talking to her. She lives

>out of state...which was helpful, but the phone tends to still ring!

>My other issue with her is she favors the older non-apraxic child.

>While in denial, his sensory issues were all due to bad behavior. He

>was naughty in her eyes. I could go on forever talking about how she

>made me feel when we first figured out he was not just a late talker

>and it was a serious speech disorder! I learned to ignore her comments

>and just let them roll off my back. Nothing us or anyone else said was

>going to change her thoughts. As long as you know that you are doing

>the best you possibly can to help your son...that is all that matters.

>Eventually mine came around (2yrs later), it just takes some people

>longer to get it when it isn't an everyday thing for them to deal

>with. Keep your head up and hopefully this will get better with time!

>Best wishes,

>Tina

>

>

>

>

>>I just went to NYC to visit my pregnant sister and I came home last

>>night and I just feel overwhelmed with everything. My son woke up and

>>made his usual noises at 5:30am and I felt glued to the bed like it

>>was just all too much. My sister has been put on bed rest and my

>>mother and aunt were badgering her about going to another OB/GYN like

>>they badger me and my husband about seeing more doctors for my son.

>>They even said to her " Don't you want a healthy baby? " like they said

>>to me " I haven't given up on your son " , implying that I have because I

>>won't see 1 million doctors!!! My mother in law is here at our house

>>for the month and even though she is a great help with my son, she

>>makes me feel overwhelmed too. She thinks I should get a live in

>>nanny. I need more help, but not that. She's 73 and what's too much

>>physically for her is not yet too much for me. Anyway, sorry to

>>babble on and thanks for listening. HELPPPP!!!

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Of course your sister wants a healthy baby (who doesn't) and of course

you don't want anyone to give up on your son -especially his aunt &

grandmother! Those statements are pretty obvious points that could

both be taken as positive. It's clear there is much love in your

family ...and it's clear it's normal for you to be overwhelmed!

Look what's going on in your life right now. You just came

back from a visit to NYC -your pregnant sister's on bed rest -and your

mother in law is staying with you for a month -and of course you want

to do whatever you can for your son and it never does feel like

enough...and your being told that both in your head ...and now out loud!

Perhaps your mother in law is picking up on your feelings and offering

what she thinks will help take some pressure off. (she's just trying

to be nice...perhaps offering to pay for help even?!! Can I take her

up on it?!)

If you have the money for some type of help it really can be a

wonderful way to dedicate even more time to be with your children. It

doesn't mean it has to be a live in -but even someone to come in and do

heavy cleaning once a week or twice a month while you are running

around with therapy (and second and third opinions)

And about the comments....I guess I'm kind of laid back about what your

mom and aunt said because my family is like them as well...me too - we

all believe in second and third opinions. Not a million -but making

sure that who we took our kids to were MDs/SLPs that are respected in what

they do. My feeling is that I didn't want to look back and say " if

only "

But in saying that I also want to add that while I did seek out all

opinions to help -I was never one to jump at adding or doing things

without researching it myself. And so to not be overwhelmed keep in

mind that you have time to examine everything you hear and read -and

you do not have to jump at everything all at once. Just take it one

step at a time and do what you feel is right in your heart...along with

knowledge and guidance from those you respect and trust.

Deep breath in....and out. Repeat. This too shall pass. And one day

you will look back and smile. (when I post this as an archive a few

weeks/months from now when you share some good news update!)

=====

[Guest guest]

I do not know which is worse to live with-- In Laws that say we should

take our kids to MORE doctors or my inlaws that think i am probably

doing too much. I KNOW one of my SIL thinks theres not that much wrong

with my CP/Apraxia 6 daughter! So four surgeries were not enough to

convince her?? I only had my MIL for six years-- she passed away four

years ago from Ovarian cancer. She was of that generation who didnt get

special diagnosis' for anything. Thats where they had to tell

themselves-- " they'll grow out of it " . If she was here...I think she'd

be very supportive of my special needs daughter-she passed away in

between surgeries. I actually went from her Wake back to the surgeon.

anywhoo..... be glad they are here- even if they are annoying-- I

sometimes miss her so bad! So does my husband, we had another child that

she never knew about too.

[Guest guest]

You are right. My MIL drives me nuts at times and literally shunned me

for years (she is an immigrant and did not want son marrying an

American) but when she got past it she really got past it and often

tells my son I am smarter than him (she needs a filter and that one is

neither true nor nice but it does illustrate the shift in perception).

The truth is that she only drives me nuts in the very same way I see my

friends moms driving them nuts. Not having my own mom since age 7 I am

simply not that easy to mother. At the end of the day she is one of the

most loving moms I know and she loves me and my kids in a way that

rivals any other love I have known, warts and all. It is one of my

greatest joys that she met my kids. Thanks for the reminder and I am

sorry for your loss.

Maureen wrote:

>I do not know which is worse to live with-- In Laws that say we should

>take our kids to MORE doctors or my inlaws that think i am probably

>doing too much. I KNOW one of my SIL thinks theres not that much wrong

>with my CP/Apraxia 6 daughter! So four surgeries were not enough to

>convince her?? I only had my MIL for six years-- she passed away four

>years ago from Ovarian cancer. She was of that generation who didnt get

>special diagnosis' for anything. Thats where they had to tell

>themselves-- " they'll grow out of it " . If she was here...I think she'd

>be very supportive of my special needs daughter-she passed away in

>between surgeries. I actually went from her Wake back to the surgeon.

>anywhoo..... be glad they are here- even if they are annoying-- I

>sometimes miss her so bad! So does my husband, we had another child that

>she never knew about too.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What a blessing you are to your son, dil and grandchildren! They are

so lucky to have you.

Miche

At 06:41 PM 8/6/2007, you wrote:

>As I sit here reading all your post about what BAD in laws you all have I am

>made to realize how blessed I am.My little twin grandsons can not go to a

>regular daycare because they have Autism. I am driving 80 miles a day to

>keep my precious little twin grandsons, for my son and daughter in law. They

>will be three the 30th of this month. They will be starting to Sprayberry

>Regional School the 4th of September. I thank God for the strength HE has

>given me to be able to have kept them the last 3 years while my daughter in

>law teaches school. I also thank my son and daughter in law for the

>opportunity to have spent this precious time with my little grandsons.

>

>Blessings,

>

>Granny to Matt and Will

[Guest guest]

Hi - I know you did not write me but I wanted to tell you that there is

a case in our appealant court that will be tried soon that concerns the

children with behavior plans and involves a 10 year old girl who was put in

time

out at school. Since the child did not comply in 5 minutes the clock was

restarted and ended after 3 hours with the child urinating on herself. The case

has

been won in administrative court and if it is upheld in appealant court it

will affect 5 different states surrounding Iowa and will set a standard to

limit the amount of time a child can spend in a day in time out. Administrative

court does not involve money but the family may go to civil court and ask for

over 80 thousand dollars in attorney. You can see a video of Isabel at the

Des Moines Register.com/video. Charlotte Henry

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

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[Guest guest]

Liz- Hi! There is a case here involving a 10 year old girl with autism that

was put in a time out room for over 3 hours. This case may sit a limit in 5

states involving discipline in the public schools-charlotte henry

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour