Re: Co Sleep to Sleeping in own bed -

[Guest guest]

hummm... well I'm in the process of night weaning Darbi. I've been able

to kind of strike up a pattern of her not needing to nurse till the early

am. Which means she's sleeping through. But it's way too new, only a week

old. And she's still sleeping with us which I don't see ending any time

soon.

I'm not terribly worried, because my second child night nursed about this

long, when I had to take a little charge myself and do a little bit of

night weaning till he got it (saying no, and sticking to it). But I nurse

long term so nursing in general doesn't bother me much and I prefer child

led weaning if at all possible. I don't think I could night wean before

1.5yo though, certainly not before 1yr. The problem is that if you really

really want to wean her, and get her in her own bed you're not in a prime

time to do it at her age. That age I've found is kinda needy in the night

time. And I would find it terribly difficult to get a child out of the

family bed at that age. They just need the mama IMO and it's too early for

night weaning. But that's just me.

My advice would be to determine exactly how important it is to wean her and

when. And then decide if you really need to wean her from your bed. If

you're not dead set on doing this, you'll flake when she cries for you at

night. It's hard to resist, they do so enjoy nursing and it gets them

right back to sleep and you aren't up in the middle of the night with

crying upset baby, etc. I know, I've so been there. Which is why I

decided I didn't *need* to wean them early, and let the two who wanted to

nurse at night longer, do so if they needed it. So figure out where you

are with all that and if you're not sure yet... play it by ear until you

are. Cuz if you put a weaning plan into play before you're ready it'll

just make you crazy. It's easier in general if you're going to give in

eventually at night if you're just ok with that. If you really want to do

it you have to stick to it, because waffling doesn't work well. Then again

waffling... would be a sign to me that mama isn't totally ok with the plan

lol...

So here I am with a nearly 2 year old and I'm having to take the hard line

and tell her no at night because I'm 7 years into this nursing

thing... and I just feel I need a full night's sleep now. And quite

honestly, it's working rather well. She's old enough to get it when I

speak to her, we can communicate pretty well now. She's fallen asleep on

her own (I usually nurse her to sleep) almost every night this week. After

I put her shoes on, I nurse her a little in the front room and then take

her to the bed and lie her down awake. Course, dh has been gone and all

three are in my bed and she thinks it's cool to tuck herself in with her

brothers and pretend she's sleeping with little fake snores and all... but

after doing it with them in there for 4 days, she's done it on her own

twice. YAY!!! Sure, there's an itty bit of crying but not much so that's

very cool.

Well, this turned into an *all about me* post. Not too helpful I'm sure lol!

Kori

At 07:38 PM 3/13/2005, you wrote:

>Hi all,

>

>Just wondering how many of you still cosleep with your child - my daughter

>is 9 months old and cosleeps with us. However, my biggest fear, I guess

>is that her bars would somehow get stuck between the bars of her crib;

>even though I have a bumper all around. I would like to get her in her

>own bed by 1.....I'm still nursing and the intent is that once she's one,

>I can wean her off of me and into her own bed as well.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Kori that 9 months is a tough time to try to wean from anything -

its just a very needy time. Having said that, there are two approaches you can

take that won't really get her weaned, but can give you some much-needed space.

The first is to start trying to get her to sleep the first part of the night in

the crib. The brace WILL NOT get stuck in the slats, but she will likely wake

herself up in the middle of the night whacking the brace against the slats.

This way, you still end up getting up in the middle of the night and with baby

sleeping with you part time, but you DO get at least a little time of " me "

space. We just had the crib right by the bed where I did not have to actually

get out of the bed to get the baby.

THe second approach is to try to night wean, but continue to co-sleep the full

night. Pretty much, when baby wakes up and wants to nurse, you cuddle her close

but tell her " no nursing " . If she persists, nurse for a couple minutes and then

stop and go back to cuddling. The problem with this approach is that you will

get LESS sleep until she catches on.

I did both a different times with Kai - who was my only baby who chose to nurse

past 8 months old. I started out with the get-out-of-my-bed method, giving

myself, and DH, some much needed space for part of the night in our queen bed.

Later, when he was almost a year, I did the night weaning because I was just

tired of nursing ... Arica nursed until I was 3 months pregnant with Kai, and

the Kai was born early, so I just wanted to get some decent, full night sleep

(hadnt had it for a couple years at that point thanks to hard pregnancies).

For what its worth, if you mean to not co-sleep forever then you DO need to

start working on getting her into the crib part time. Arica slept in her crib

for about 2 months, then at 9 months old came back into bed with us and is still

there almost every night at least part of the night. I never worked very hard

at getting her back in her own bed until she was about 2.5 and a year later I

she goes to sleep in her own bed but wakes up in mine. It isnt so bad when it

is just her and I, but when DH is home (he works graveyard) and Kai is having a

tough night that queen size bed feels like a sardine can! Actually, even just

her, Kai and I is a push.

ANgel

At 07:38 PM 3/13/2005, you wrote:

>Hi all,

>

>Just wondering how many of you still cosleep with your child - my daughter

>is 9 months old and cosleeps with us. However, my biggest fear, I guess

>is that her bars would somehow get stuck between the bars of her crib;

>even though I have a bumper all around. I would like to get her in her

>own bed by 1.....I'm still nursing and the intent is that once she's one,

>I can wean her off of me and into her own bed as well.

[Guest guest]

I don't know if my experience would be of much help since I really

haven't done much co-sleeping w/ Sammy; I have a new bed that is like

5 feet off the ground and I am too paranoid about him falling out!

But I have to say his night weaning/sleeping through came pretty

easily -- he is only 6 months and he loves his nighttime nursing but

once he goes to bed, he is really down for the count! If he ever

wakes during the night, I just go in to his room, turn on his little

fisher price musical aquarium and he is out like a light. Then I can

just go right back to bed, almost as good as not having to get up at

all. Before, I would try to soothe him w/ out picking him up but that

never seemed to work and then as soon as I picked him up he would want

to nurse, and then I would either have to take him in my bed (and not

be able to sleep because I would be paranoid about him falling out) or

sit up for 45 minutes - 1 hour while he did one of his marathon

nursing sessions. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to get at is if you

can find something that soothes your child back to sleep w/out nursing

that might be a good way to begin night weaning and then once she is

sleeping through, you could start putting her in her own bed. I have

never had any problems w/ Sammy's brace getting stuck in the bars, and

we do have a bumper pad up. He is also a big boy, seems like he takes

up a huge portion of the crib, sometimes he wiggles his head all the

way up into the corner of the bed but no problems w/ the feet getting

stuck. Okay, sorry to ramble so much, I just can't quit talking about

how great Sammy sleeps through the night!

>

> >Hi all,

> >

> >Just wondering how many of you still cosleep with your child - my

daughter

> >is 9 months old and cosleeps with us. However, my biggest fear, I

guess

> >is that her bars would somehow get stuck between the bars of her crib;

> >even though I have a bumper all around. I would like to get her in

her

> >own bed by 1.....I'm still nursing and the intent is that once

she's one,

> >I can wean her off of me and into her own bed as well.

> >

> >

> >