EILEEN....again!

December 19, 2003

Eileen,

I was reading one of your posts where you had said that Imogen was

born at 36 weeks, and that Drs. told you that your placenta was

failing and that she had some chormosomal abnormality that would not

allow her to live long. THAT IS WHAT THEY TOLD ME! Crap, they said

HAD to be delivered ASAP if I wanted to have a live baby, and

then they couldn't gaurantee how LONG after birth he would

live!!!!!!!! So, you see all the exclamation points. I still have

trouble with all this. I well up with tears every time I talk about

it. I was so scared that my baby was going to die. So, of course I

we opted to go ahead and let them induce us at 34 weeks. They did

discover that had not grown with a couple weeks at all, and

evidently that was very worrysome for the Dr. So, we go to be

induced and turns breach (which was his position most of the

pregnanay), and they had to do a c section. He was born weighing 2

lbs. 12 1/2 oz, and 14 1/4 inches long. Very small. His head was

large of course. So, during the pregnancy they did label him as IUGR

(Intrauterine Growth Retardation), and then they said he was going to

have Trisomy 18, which meant if he did make it through the pregnancy

he would be serverely affected and he wouldn't live too long. I

think they say most of these children pass away by one year of age

roughly. So, we were terribly worried from our 20 week ultrasound

on. My 20 week u/s was on Valentine's day and I was looking forward

to a great day of seeing my beautiful baby and finding out the

gender. Instead, I get smacked in the face with the fact that he was

VERY small and that his body was severely delayed from his

gestational age, but his head was close to the correct size. It was

awful.

Anyway, fast forward back to delivery. After was taken to the

NICU, a geneticist came a looked at him and my understanding is she

told them she was almost positive he did not have Trisomy 18, but

went ahead and had the blood tests done anyway. They came back

negative, then they were all stumped as to what " had " . We did

not learn about RSS until this past March, and then it was not

confirmed until we saw Dr. Harbison this Octiber. So, for all those

months, we were in limbo, not knowing why he wasn't gaining weight

and why he could not tolerate his feeds. It was awfaul. Drs. even

went as far as to tell us that they did not know what " had " ,

but was sure it wasn't going to be good for him. They told us that

they weren't sure that he was going to be of normal intelligence. It

was their way of telling us that they thought was going to be

pretty bad off, in nice terms.

So, like you, I was very worried about my son, and I love him dearly

and was goign to do whatever it took to keep him healthy

and.....HERE. So, I just wanted to let you know that your story

reminded me so much of mine. I wonder how much better off

would have been if we hadn't have been induced. I mean, he had some

major lung problems, and being in the womb a little longer would have

helped them develop a little more. But, we didn't know, we just took

the Drs. advice, because, of course we wanted our child born alive.

So, I can relate to how you felt when they told you about the

chromosomal disorder. It's an awful feeling, isn't it? I keep

saying, I don't know how I haven't had an emotional breakdown yet,

after all this, and seeing my child go through this hardship. I have

tried to be strong, for I have two children to take care of at home

that I dearly love. Sometimes I am like you though, I have to have a

little " shout " at times! ) Good grief. I need some sanity. I

need a vacation I will never have, too! )

Take care and talk to you soon.

Jodi Rollison

's mom

IUGR/RSS 18 months old, 13 lbs. 2 oz., 25 1/2 in.

December 19, 2003

Hi Jodi......Immi weighed just half an ounce more than andrew at birth!

But yes....very similar experience...I was councilled twice to the effect that

Imogen would die before she was born. Once because they thought she had

somehting called Triploidy, then cos they thought she would have to be delivered

early because my placenta was failing...and as she only weighed 8oz at that

time...not good! I used to have to go to the hospital evry 2 weeks to be told

these awful things and I would just go straight to bed when I got home with

thoughts of tiny white coffins and gravestones with either Imogen or

(if she'd been a boy) on.

What makes me angry...or it did cos I'm over it all now....but what made me

angry was that all that negativity the docs gave me meant that when she was

born....and she was actually alive....instead of being happy I was depressed and

guilty because I didn't love her. Didn;t even want to look at her...ket alone

bath and change her and stuff. One day when I just dissolved in tears in the

SCBU one of the nurses said I felt that way because the docs had said she would

die before she was born and I had been detaching from her as a self defence

thing. But as the weeks went on and her charming personality shone through...and

it became clear that there wasn't all that wrong with her brainbox (they told me

if she survived there was 50% chance of mental handicap) I just fell in love

with her and have beeb besotted ever since!

Sorry to waffle on...hope it makes sense!

And yes...same thing....when Immi got to 36 weeks they wanted her out...they

wanted to induce me so I said 'no way' If she was so tiny there was no way I was

going to risk her dying from the trauma of the birth at the last minute so I

asked for a c.section. But I reckon now that she could have gone on to full term

with no probs. But I spose it's easy to say that with hindsight!!

Speak soon...chin up!

Eileen xx

Jodi Rollison rssboy2002@...> wrote: