wedding dreams and other dreams...

January 24, 2003

In a message dated 1/24/03 5:48:19 AM Central Standard Time,

datwell@... writes:

<< unable to stop crying uncontrollably for

Goddess only knows WHAT reason!!! I still don't know why I cried that way!

>>

---------------------------------

Fear, joy, stress, ending of stress: all legitimate reasons for a good cry.

Carol A

January 24, 2003

In a message dated 1/24/2003 5:32:47 AM Pacific Standard Time,

meltingheart@... writes:

> I want to feel like the princess I was sure I'd never be.

>

My second marriage saw me at my top weight - 257 lbs (I was in a gaining

phase, having vowed to never diet again). I'd had to have my ring resized a

couple of months after I bought it, and my dress was a size 24. It was,

beyond the shadow of a doubt, the happiest day of my life. We only invited

people we loved, and who loved us - no " obligation " invites. I felt like the

most important and beautiful woman in the world, being in a room with 40

people who loved me and were cheering on my happiness. My best friend

performed the ceremony, we had it at home, we wrote our own vows, and my

weight had nothing to do with my being a princess.

Make it *your* wedding, exactly the way you want it to be, and surround

yourself with love. It puts your life, and your size/weight, back into the

perspective and focus it should be.

And....congratulations!!

Kate

January 24, 2003

> suebarr@... writes:

<< But DH just doesn't understand why I need NOT to be a fat bride. Maybe,

just maybe this will erase that tape. >>

> -------------------------------

>>>For 41 years I have pined over the fact that I never had the long white

froofy dress. Guess at 61, I'd look pretty silly in one. So that's just one

more dream that will never happen. Carol A<<

----------------------------

I've been following this whole line of discussion... I think we each

should have our wedding dreams or dream wedding come true no matter how old

we are, no matter our weight or reasons for wanting to have " new memories "

that are cherished instead of an embarrassment or not that great -- Why do

you say that won't happen Carol? It is your dream, your long white foofoo

dress so DO IT. I can't imagine that anyone who loves you, friends and

family, would think you silly at all. Sue, I hope you can help your DH

understand why you want new memories of being a thin bride and I know the

feeling of the " something said " right before you walk down the isle... My

dear grandmother told me... as I was dressing and fitting on my head part

that, " I give it 6 months at the most... " And she was totally right -- that

marriage was bust after 6 months but I held on to it for the next 13 1/2

years just to prove her wrong -- all those years wasted just to prove her

wrong.

When I did re-marry -- my husband and I both made lists with each other

of the things we never had in our first weddings / marriages / that were

important to us... the things we wanted to have in this life time... and we

did it our way.

It is funny because we must have had the least amount of time for anyone

to " plan " a wedding (my choice, I hated the 6 months it took to plan my

first one.) When he asked me to marry him and we discussed dates -- my

feeling was just as fast as possible -- I didn't want the whole " wedding

planning stress " thing. Texas has a 72 hour waiting period and we were

married in 74 hours from the time he asked me. ~laughing~ The 30 minute

delay was me sitting in the bedroom unable to stop crying uncontrollably for

Goddess only knows WHAT reason!!! I still don't know why I cried that way!

Anyway, we plan to renew our vows on our 10th Anniversary because we

didn't want to invite anyone to our wedding at that time except for one

couple who stood up for us (as required here by law) who have now been

married nearly 50 years and still act as our " advisors " and we love them

dearly. Yet, as our children grow older they sort of wished they could have

been there as do some of the other close friends and family so... we are

thinking of redoing it at 10 years.

We thought we should really re-do it just for ourselves and hold to that

thought with the understanding between us that for us... renewing our vows

means... " Yes, I would do it all over again, don't regret a moment we've

spent together and Yes, we *still* mean forever... "

So, if we both can say all those things and mean them -- we'll have a

" do-over " and invite more people.

I think if we have a " dream " in this life time we should not dishonor

that dream for any reason and if it is at all possible -- DO IT... if it

seems silly to the rest of the world so what? Go for it!

hugz you all and embracing our dreams,

~denise

January 24, 2003

Congratulations, Miss Melty! And (gasp) you aren't the only one here to meet

your SO on line. That's where I found mine. We've been married 3 years now,

and he took me as I am....lock, stock, and horse manure. Yours is a

wonderful story!

Jac

mailto:jholdaway@...

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

January 24, 2003

Melty:

Congratulations! What a wonderful story, and it's your REAL life!!!

I was taken by how many times in your note you mentioned that

" all-of-a-sudden " you're unhappy with your weight loss.

It's very scary for some of us to completely let our guards down and be

happy. In my humble opinion, I think this " all-of-a-sudden " stuff may be

your fear of embracing the fact that you're very happy, you've met someone

you really love, and IT'S TIME TO JUST ENJOY IT. It's scary not having a

great excuse anymore to not be as happy as you can be. When things weren't

what we wanted them to be before, of course it was " our weight. "

Just my $.02

in Austin

RNY April 1998

Re: wedding dreams and other dreams...

>

> So, suddenly I don't like my body. Suddenly I want to

> lose more weight. I am not tiny and I know I COULD

> lose weight and still be above the " charts " .

>

> I want to feel like the princess I was sure I'd never

> be.

>

> I just dont like the fact that suddenly I am unhappy

> with my weight. Granted I was always a tad

> disappointed that I didnt drop down to a size 6 or

> something but I knew that probably wasn't realistic!

>

> ~Hugs

> Melty~

>

January 24, 2003

Due to Insurance, and I can't " legally " marry, but I wanted a

CEREMONY. So we had one! When my parents renewed their vows on the

cruise we were on......we did the same. I had the dress, the vows and

! You can see the dress in the Photo's part of our group

http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/graduate-ossg/vwp?.dir=/Debbie+in+G

ig+Harbor&.src=gr&.dnm=Debbie+and+.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//phot

os.groups.yahoo.com/group/graduate-ossg/lst%3f%26.dir=/Debbie%2bin%2bGig

%2bHarbor%26.src=gr%26.view=t Also got the CAKE! It was beautiful and

I feel properly married......if not on paper.

I will lose my military insurance if I ever remarry. Can't take a chance

of doing that.

See, You CAN have your Cake, dress, ceremony and ALL.

Debbie in Gig Harbor

January 24, 2003

HEY, I do understand, but here I sit.......a size 16!!! And actually I

think those darn dresses are cut for TWIGS and I am GIRLY shaped! I do

believe that the dress I chose for a renewing of the vows was a size 18.

And I don't feel like a blimp! Even though this is considered PLUS

sized! I consider it......Voluptuous. Gimme MAE West any day! LOL

Debbie in Gig Harbor

January 24, 2003

I met mine on the phone. Personality first, then appearance. I figured he'd

bolt on site.

21 yrs ago today we've been together.

I still get tingles when he calls or looks at me. Shoot, now that he is

downsized, he calls me on the intercom & it's STILL a thrill.

Thanks,

Vitalady, Inc. T

www.vitalady.com

If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

RE: wedding dreams and other dreams...

> Congratulations, Miss Melty! And (gasp) you aren't the only one here to

meet

> your SO on line. That's where I found mine. We've been married 3 years

now,

> and he took me as I am....lock, stock, and horse manure. Yours is a

> wonderful story!

>

> Jac

> mailto:jholdaway@...

> http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

January 24, 2003

I can attest to the fact that Don & are all goo-goo all over

each other. lol. They're so in love that you just have to feel good

being around them. In the times that I've been there visiting them, I'd

discovered them being " lovey " in all sorts of places. Nothing stops

them, not the employees, customers, cats, recovering guests. One of

them walks into the room, sees the other, and nothing else exists.

Sweet, huh? Now THAT'S love.

Terry

Vitalady wrote:

>I met mine on the phone. Personality first, then appearance. I figured he'd

>bolt on site.

>

>21 yrs ago today we've been together.

>

>I still get tingles when he calls or looks at me. Shoot, now that he is

>downsized, he calls me on the intercom & it's STILL a thrill.

>

>Thanks,

>

>Vitalady, Inc. T

>www.vitalady.com

>

>If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

>https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

>

> RE: wedding dreams and other dreams...

>

>>Congratulations, Miss Melty! And (gasp) you aren't the only one here to

>>

>meet

>

>>your SO on line. That's where I found mine. We've been married 3 years

>>

>now,

>

>>and he took me as I am....lock, stock, and horse manure. Yours is a

>>wonderful story!

>>

>>Jac

>>mailto:jholdaway@...http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

>>

>>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>>

>>Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>>

January 24, 2003

In a message dated 01/24/2003 8:47:51 PM Eastern Standard Time,

vitalady@... writes:

> Nothing stops

> >them, not the employees, customers, cats, recovering guests. One of

> >them walks into the room, sees the other, and nothing else exists.

> > Sweet, huh? Now THAT'S love.

>

I totally agree with you Terry.. They are an adorable couple who cant see

beyond their love for each other.. it is soooo sweet to watch the two of

them.... so caring, and loving toward each other.. gives me goose

bumps...........

Hugs,

from GA

open RNY 12/12/00

Revision 04/18/01

Revision 02/07/02

St wt.... 392

Cw.......187

Wt loss..-205

January 24, 2003

Here Here!~ I too am far from skinny but I am much healthier and my

husband likes my GIRLY shape (LOL)

Terri in Temecula

> HEY, I do understand, but here I sit.......a size 16!!! And

actually I

> think those darn dresses are cut for TWIGS and I am GIRLY shaped! I

do

> believe that the dress I chose for a renewing of the vows was a

size 18.

> And I don't feel like a blimp! Even though this is considered PLUS

> sized! I consider it......Voluptuous. Gimme MAE West any day! LOL

>

> Debbie in Gig Harbor

January 24, 2003

That's because they have wall to wall employees, customers, cats, dogs and

recovering guests, 24/7 and where else are they gonna get goo goo with each

other? I mean, privacy at the Curran's??? No way...except now on

Sundays...haha!! Then I really wonder!

Regards~

Jacque

Distal RNY

Drs. Fox and Oh

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 21.0

> I can attest to the fact that Don & are all goo-goo all over

> each other. lol. They're so in love that you just have to feel good

> being around them. In the times that I've been there visiting them, I'd

> discovered them being " lovey " in all sorts of places. Nothing stops

> them, not the employees, customers, cats, recovering guests. One of

> them walks into the room, sees the other, and nothing else exists.

> Sweet, huh? Now THAT'S love.

>

> Terry

January 24, 2003

Or lust, depending on your pt of view.

Thanks,

Vitalady, Inc. T

www.vitalady.com

If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

RE: wedding dreams and other dreams...

> >

> >>Congratulations, Miss Melty! And (gasp) you aren't the only one here to

> >>

> >meet

> >

> >>your SO on line. That's where I found mine. We've been married 3 years

> >>

> >now,

> >

> >>and he took me as I am....lock, stock, and horse manure. Yours is

a

> >>wonderful story!

> >>

> >>Jac

> >>mailto:jholdaway@...

> >>http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> >>http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

> >>

> >>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> >>

> >>Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> >>

January 24, 2003

Well, many of the locals do not KNOW we are closed on Sunday. Never were,

right? And we're HERE.

But that's ok, as I actually LIKE people, so as long as they're wiling to

talk to me while I take care of my stuff., I'm fine.

Thanks,

Vitalady, Inc. T

www.vitalady.com

If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

Re: wedding dreams and other dreams...

> That's because they have wall to wall employees, customers, cats, dogs and

> recovering guests, 24/7 and where else are they gonna get goo goo with

each

> other? I mean, privacy at the Curran's??? No way...except now on

> Sundays...haha!! Then I really wonder!

>

> Regards~

> Jacque

> Distal RNY

> Drs. Fox and Oh

> Beginning BMI 50.0

> Current BMI 21.0

> > I can attest to the fact that Don & are all goo-goo all over

> > each other. lol. They're so in love that you just have to feel good

> > being around them. In the times that I've been there visiting them, I'd

> > discovered them being " lovey " in all sorts of places. Nothing stops

> > them, not the employees, customers, cats, recovering guests. One of

> > them walks into the room, sees the other, and nothing else exists.

> > Sweet, huh? Now THAT'S love.

> >

> > Terry

>

January 25, 2003

>

> I am the first to admit we do have a wonderful story.

> We got to know each other to the point of finishing

> each others sentences. I was sooo open (probably too

> much so) with him when we were over a thousand miles

> away because I thought " come on *I* am not ever going

> to met this wonderful man....he'll never see me, I'll

> never have to face him after bearing my soul. "

>

******************************************************************

This is how I met my second husband. We never, ever expected to meet. We

were honest and real and got to know each other without the game of trying

to impress each other..lol. He was in Denmark and I in Florida.

Meeting my fiance on line showed me differently. I

> never meant for it to happen, I never expected it to

> happen but it did. He loved me first. The weight loss

> was just a bonus for both of us. I became healthier

> and allowed the relationship to move forward because I

> began to feel worthy of it and he got to see a more

> confident, fun, happy me.

***********************************************************

This is the key. He fell in love with you...not your immage.

> He always tells me I look fine and I don't need to

> lose weight so at least I dont have the pressure of a

> man trying to tell me to stop eating or to exercise or

> to lose weight because he won't be with a fat woman

> etc. I have heard the horror stories!

********************************************

I don't think this matters if he loves you. My husband and myself are both

different to what we had been previously attracted to. When you find your

soulmate, you both can only see within, not the exterior.

> Naturally I need to give it all up and be happy while

> I can because life throws enough curves your way to

> mess up the good times.

> Melty~

*********************************************

Trust yourself enough to be loved and trust him to love you. My hubby and I

have been married for four years now. We disagree all the time. We are very

much opposites. We do know that at the end of each day that we are here for

each other and have no doubt that we are loved by the other. What the other

lacks, in both, we gain from the other.

I was married for 12 years the first time. He saw me thin, to years of

heavy, to thin. At no point did I feel totally loved. It had nothing to do

with weight. It's either there or it's not. Meeting someone on the internet

is surprisingly an altimate on getting to know someone. I don't mean just

chatting and meeting. Look how long yall talked.

Relax and enjoy what life has brought to you. If you want to lose, do it for

you not for anyone else. Be confident in yourself. Do not put " what if's "

before yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Dawn

January 25, 2003

Okay, NOW you're grossing me out!

I was okay through the spiritual stuff, the poop discussion and hearing

about the wedding stuff.

But Lust?

I mean, can't we just be friends?*

*I have a retirement home in Aspen because I own the copyright to that

phrase, which was directed to me so many times in my tortured youth that I

just bought the damned thing...

/john

RE: wedding dreams and other dreams...

> > >

> > >>Congratulations, Miss Melty! And (gasp) you aren't the only one here

to

> > >>

> > >meet

> > >

> > >>your SO on line. That's where I found mine. We've been married 3 years

> > >>

> > >now,

> > >

> > >>and he took me as I am....lock, stock, and horse manure. Yours

is

> a

> > >>wonderful story!

> > >>

> > >>Jac

> > >>mailto:jholdaway@...

> > >>http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> > >>http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

> > >>

> > >>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> > >>

> > >>Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> > >>

January 25, 2003

I mean, can't we just be friends?*

*I have a retirement home in Aspen because I own the copyright to that

phrase, which was directed to me so many times in my tortured youth that

I just bought the damned thing...

************************************************************************

*

, are you serious? THAT is just TOO funny!

Debbie in Gig Harbor

January 25, 2003

Uh huh...just as I thought. That's why I said... " I wonder... " because

knowing you, you will welcome people there on your one day off. Silly girl.

But really, I guess there is nothing silly about caring....it's just that we

ALL need some down time. That includes YOU!

Regards~

Jacque

> Well, many of the locals do not KNOW we are closed on Sunday. Never were,

> right? And we're HERE.

>

> But that's ok, as I actually LIKE people, so as long as they're wiling to

> talk to me while I take care of my stuff., I'm fine.

>

> Thanks,

>

> Vitalady, Inc. T

> www.vitalady.com

>

January 25, 2003

In a message dated 1/25/2003 11:07:11 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jacquemil@... writes:

> it's just that we

> ALL need some down time. That includes YOU!

>

Or " Up time " Sorry this old lady couldn't resist. I guess a bit of evil

Ceep is resting in my mind.

Fay Bayuk -

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