RE: Re: beautiful mind/ using Disorders as assets... Jac

[Guest guest]

Hum.... couldn't decide to send this private or on the list -- deciding on

the latter since my comments were to thank Jac for being public -- fitting

that I should do so as well... The DD/DID or whatever label assigned these

days got me a firm diagnosis in my early 30's when the dissociation stopped

working to help me function and began working to help me not function -- but

it didn't stop and it was a conscious choice for many of my " compartments "

to not let go of it either -- a very useful tool if it could be harnessed

and used at will though I've met few who made the same choice.

Unique, I think so but not unheard of -- many shrinks ran at the idea that

I wanted to " keep " my own damn disorder and just learn how to use it to help

myself (what a concept huh?) I had grown attached to it since I felt like it

saved my life many times over why attempt to exorcize it now??? ~smile~

After finding the right professionals with the right attitude it has become

an asset regardless of what they call it now.

The thoughts of using it toward this end hadn't occurred to me since it is

usually a tool against being where I don't want to be (other people) and not

directed at myself so much...

Alas, I find myself now where I don't want to be in my own company during

this stressful and stress filled time and hadn't given a thought to using my

'uniqness' to help myself out of this...

So, thank you for posting public about the D word and the usefulness that

is within our grasp if we choose to use it... after well over a month away

from the gym I'll let y'all know how it goes towards getting my self back

even if it isn't quite myself -- who cares as my self would occupy the same

body going to the gym regardless of how I actually get there mentally...

ceep said:

>>>>Dissociation is however, not the same as compartmentalization. The

latter is a skill that is in seed

> form innately. The former is in response to an overwhelming stimulus, and

is considered cohesive to a large degree depending on the situation, the

person's continuing touch with reality, and how long the dissociation

continues past the time it is needed for syntonia of the psyche(for balance

to be maintained.)<<<<

Where usually your explanations are so clear -- this one is falling between

the cracks for me -- Jac mentioned " units " maybe some are " fragments " and

others " whole " but for most doesn't dissociation do just that to the extreme

maybe... compartmentalize? During the unreigned process or mid-disorder,

prior to getting help, isn't the point of me leaving given to the

experiences left behind a way to endure, withstand, get through, tuck it

away in a neat little compartment (given whatever name one chooses) so I can

come back and know nothing of that period of time?

The learning to control the ability once the danger is past, a choice to

keep the disorder as opposed to ridding and integrating...

Ok, now I confuse myself ~smile~ ceep comment just didn't ring quite

right -- a bit off balance as a view from this side... so, just kind of

wondered...

hugz,

~denise

[Guest guest]

, and anyone else this is applicable to~

I was hoping that my post would be of some use to someone. I didn't go

through all of this for nothing! Thank you for your honesty too . I'm

thinking possibly the only difference between what ceep is saying and what we

mean is in the semantics. Or am I missing something? I did not keep the

disorder as so many have done. In fact, my shrinks encouraged me to " keep

it. " Just as long as we have a good inner communication system. I wanted to

be a whole individual so much that after 15 years of hard work, I think I

have finally attained full integration within the last year. I have

abilities now that I could never have imagined. I feel like a many roomed

mansion, with only the choicest furniture left behind. All very useful

stuff. I was able to use it in a big way on the 10 hour flight to Japan, in

a tiny seat between the window and the aisle, with two good sized men on

either side of me. The only thing I remember about the flight was the movie,

Shrek, which, I loved BTW! As far as claustrophobia goes, I didn't have to

deal with it. Also, in Japan where everything is miniaturized, my hubby was

getting claustrophobic, yet, I was fine. I saw things as larger, so thus

they were larger in my perception. This has truly been a gift, from the

beginning. It kept me sane, and except for dealing with it, when my life

came to a grinding halt back when, it still keeps me sane.

I hope this rang some chimes with you , and I have confidence with your

abilities, and your intelligence, you will be able to learn how to use this

for your further good. It helped you survive childhood, it will help you

survive anything else you want to survive. Feel free to email me if you

wish.

Hugs~

Jacque

Distal RNY

Drs. Fox and Oh

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 21.0

> Hum.... couldn't decide to send this private or on the list -- deciding on

> the latter since my comments were to thank Jac for being public -- fitting

> that I should do so as well... The DD/DID or whatever label assigned these

> days got me a firm diagnosis in my early 30's when the dissociation stopped

> working to help me function and began working to help me not function --

> but

> it didn't stop and it was a conscious choice for many of my " compartments "

> to not let go of it either -- a very useful tool if it could be harnessed

> and used at will though I've met few who made the same choice.

> Unique, I think so but not unheard of -- many shrinks ran at the idea

> that

> I wanted to " keep " my own damn disorder and just learn how to use it to

> help

> myself (what a concept huh?) I had grown attached to it since I felt like

> it

> saved my life many times over why attempt to exorcize it now??? ~smile~

> After finding the right professionals with the right attitude it has become

> an asset regardless of what they call it now.

> The thoughts of using it toward this end hadn't occurred to me since it

> is

> usually a tool against being where I don't want to be (other people) and

> not

> directed at myself so much...

> Alas, I find myself now where I don't want to be in my own company during

> this stressful and stress filled time and hadn't given a thought to using

> my

> 'uniqness' to help myself out of this...

>

> So, thank you for posting public about the D word and the usefulness that

> is within our grasp if we choose to use it... after well over a month away

> from the gym I'll let y'all know how it goes towards getting my self back

> even if it isn't quite myself -- who cares as my self would occupy the same

> body going to the gym regardless of how I actually get there mentally...

>

> ceep said:

> >>>>Dissociation is however, not the same as compartmentalization. The

> latter is a skill that is in seed

> >form innately. The former is in response to an overwhelming stimulus, and

> is considered cohesive to a large degree depending on the situation, the

> person's continuing touch with reality, and how long the dissociation

> continues past the time it is needed for syntonia of the psyche(for balance

> to be maintained.)<<<<

>

> Where usually your explanations are so clear -- this one is falling

> between

> the cracks for me -- Jac mentioned " units " maybe some are " fragments " and

> others " whole " but for most doesn't dissociation do just that to the

> extreme

> maybe... compartmentalize? During the unreigned process or mid-disorder,

> prior to getting help, isn't the point of me leaving given to the

> experiences left behind a way to endure, withstand, get through, tuck it

> away in a neat little compartment (given whatever name one chooses) so I

> can

> come back and know nothing of that period of time?

> The learning to control the ability once the danger is past, a choice to

> keep the disorder as opposed to ridding and integrating...

> Ok, now I confuse myself ~smile~ ceep comment just didn't ring quite

> right -- a bit off balance as a view from this side... so, just kind of

> wondered...

>

> hugz,

> ~denise

>

[Guest guest]

Dang, did I get credit because I advocate behavior modification and " Chew,

chew, chew " , " lay your fork down, " and " eat pickles' or just because I'm

still at goal after so darned long? I'm a crazy lady and have papers to

prove it (23 years as a cop qualifies you as crazy, even without papers).

WHY WOULD ANYONE LISTEN TO ME??? I'm chronic major depressive and ADD. Just

ignore me, or giggle quietly to yourself. (Now you know who you're trusting

your lives to. I wasn't the craziest cop out there. Just the one smart

enough to get out while that one little brain cell was still working.)

Jac

mailto:jholdaway@...

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

[Guest guest]

I think got her Jacque's confused. I was wondering if you would arise

to this. No use being labeled with a disorder you never had..right? LOL!

Hugs~

Jacque

> Dang, did I get credit because I advocate behavior modification and " Chew,

> chew, chew " , " lay your fork down, " and " eat pickles' or just because I'm

> still at goal after so darned long? I'm a crazy lady and have papers to

> prove it (23 years as a cop qualifies you as crazy, even without papers).

> WHY WOULD ANYONE LISTEN TO ME??? I'm chronic major depressive and ADD. Just

> ignore me, or giggle quietly to yourself. (Now you know who you're trusting

> your lives to. I wasn't the craziest cop out there. Just the one smart

> enough to get out while that one little brain cell was still working.)

>

> Jac

Jacque

Distal RNY

Drs. Fox and Oh

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 21.0

[Guest guest]

LOL... did I mix up my Jac's? I'm sorry :-( -- y'all knew who you were even

if I didn't though ... right? At least I didn't " loose " ya...!!! Remember

those Jacks and Balls we had as kids? I always lost those Jacks but a " very

un-understanding " family member usually found them in the dark, barefooted

*ouch* and threw them back at me!

>

> I think got her Jacque's confused. <<<

[Guest guest]

S'okay by me , I just don't know if Jac appreciates being thought of as

DD or DID. I just recently learned the new label. LOL! Take care..and I do

relate to the the jacks story....but it was always me that would find them

that very same way! =) OUCH!

Regards~

Jacque

Distal RNY

Drs. Fox and Oh

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 21.0

> LOL... did I mix up my Jac's? I'm sorry :-( -- y'all knew who you were even

> if I didn't though ... right? At least I didn't " loose " ya...!!! Remember

> those Jacks and Balls we had as kids? I always lost those Jacks but a " very

> un-understanding " family member usually found them in the dark, barefooted

> *ouch* and threw them back at me!

> >

> >I think got her Jacque's confused. <<<

>

[Guest guest]

<

>

This Jac is not offended by much of anything. If I was, I forgot it already.

Jac

mailto:jholdaway@...

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints