Lazy is as lazy does...

[Guest guest]

....or something. I forget.

I'm coming in several days late and probably a couple of bucks short on

this discussion, so please forgive me any glaring stupidities or

absurdities beyond my usual quota, but the lazy thing jumped out at me.

I consider myself a divinely lazy person. I will go several kilometres

out of my way to avoid unnecessary work...but first I have to decide

whether I think the work is truly unnecessary.

I know that when push comes to shove, if something's important enough

to me, I am able to rouse myself out of my stupour, buckle on my armour

and head out to slay the dragons or whatever...but push has to verily

come to shove first, and I need to know that there is truly no other

way. (Besides which, PETD, People for the Ethical Treatment of Dragons,

would be all over me like a rash if they found out I was slaying the

cute little dragons thither and yon...not that I'd be using leg-hold

traps or beating them with clubs and skinning them right there at the

mouths of their caves or anything. But the last dragon-skin coat I made

out of my ill-gotten gains wound up getting covered in red paint by a

bunch of Birkenstock-clad naturist vegans waving placards about meat

and fur being murder. They obviously had no idea of that coat's great

symbolic significance to me and those of my tribe. But I digress.)

Laziness. Ah, yes. Was it Wilde who said, " Work fascinates me. I

can sit and look at it for hours " ? (If it wasn't, I'm going to rely on

someone else to look it up and correct me.)

But laziness when it comes to eating? Well, there you've got me

stumped. Like many here, I get into " eating ruts " , in which I will eat

the same set of foods over and over again, not because I adore them,

but because I need to stoke the furnace, and these particular foods

happen to be close at hand. But is that part of my laziness, or just

good common sense? I mean, in the real world, how many people aside

from restaurant reviewers get to dine daily on tantalizing morsels of

food they adore, day in and day out? I suspect that the vast majority

of " normies " out there stick to the tried and true. It keeps them

going, it does the job, it tastes okay, and it doesn't force them to

think about food 24/7. And in the long run, as a person who has tended

to have issues with food, I think I'm more inclined to side with the

" rut " people for the most part, saving the delicacies for special

occasions. That is, after all, what makes them delicacies, no?

As for the work involved in making this surgery a success -- well,

that's one of the " necessary effort " things I mentioned earlier. I came

very close to death during my surgery and its aftermath. It was a big

deal, at least to my family and friends and myself, and I am not

willing to pretend that it didn't happen. I figure that if I was

willing to pay that kind of price, the least I should do is the minimum

effort needed to make the damn surgery work.

Granted, I've been having trouble getting all my water in lately, but

by and large, I just put my head down and keep plodding. Exercise,

protein, vitamins, balanced diet, fibre, water. Right now I'm in my

" ideal weight " zone, and for the first time in my life my goal is not

to lose weight. I look at the post-Xmas-food-orgy magazines at the

grocery store, the ones advertising " lose nine hundred pounds by

Valentine's Day and fit into the sexy thong bikini and push-up bra set

your sweetie is going to buy you " , and I just shake my head. I'm *so*

not there any more. It's a strange feeling, a little bit frightening. I

feel like I've lost my compass. What am I, if not wretchedly overweight

and struggling? Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm delighted

to be here, but it's foreign territory to me. Still, I know that it's

going to take a certain minimum of work to keep me here -- currently, I

define " here " as between 155-159 lbs.

But is laziness really self-hatred? or is it actually about

self-preservation? Guess it depends on how you define lazy. If you

mean, " Want to eat whatever floats past me, with no thought for the

past, present or future, " then yeah, I would say there might be some

self-destruction nestling in there. But if you mean, " Will eat what I

need to to get where I want to go, but won't make a big production out

of it, " that seems to me to be a sanity-preserving exercise. I don't

want to become one of those people who micro-manages every piece of

food that passes their lips. They're obsessive, and tiresome, and worst

of all, boring. (Note: if anyone here thinks I'm referring to them, you

are projecting. I'm not. Really. I promise. Please don't write me hate

mail, and don't fling red paint at my dragon-skin coat. It just upsets

me.)

Rebelling against what's good for me -- that I'm familiar with. Did it

for a while, but gave it up when I started having flashbacks to

puberty. I had to stop altogether when someone asked if I wanted to

wear their " I love Shaun Cassidy " button. Hey, I wouldn't have worn one

of those even in my preteens -- as a forty-something-year-old, it was

definitely out of the question.

Seriously though, why do we do this? I don't think we're rebelling

against ourselves, so much as all the " adults " out there who have tried

to control us. The authorities, the magazine ad writers, the fashion

and beauty cops, the mums and dads and grandmothers and well-meaning

but brutal teachers or aunts or sisters or...you know who I mean. Only

problem is, *we're* the grown-ups now. The decisions don't belong to

anyone else any longer -- they're ours to make, right or wrong.

Donna, I don't have any answers to your questions, but they're good

questions nonetheless. Good for you for asking them.

I.

Donna wrote:

> What is the definition of lazy? I'm starting to think: Lazy=hates

> self, rebells

against self and whatever is good for self on purpose. I hate being

lazy. I have just discovered that I am lazy. Sometimes I will ask

myself, am I just lazy or am I tired, paranoid of going out or simply

again lazy? What would cause laziness, what is the cure?

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

RNY September 19, 2001

Dr. Freeman, Ottawa General Hospital

BMI then: 43.5

BMI now: 22

-152 lbs

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[Guest guest]

I once had a discussion with my neighbors when I was a stay at home Mom with

preschool kids. I complimented them on their clean and orderly house and

told them that I hated housework. Each one said they hated housework too but

they loved the feeling when it is done and looks so good. I told them I

didn't get that feeling, that I only feel more depressed.

It was simple, when they were young and they did something, their moms

complimented them. When I was young and completed a task, my mother

criticized it and called me a lazy slob and, this is true, told me over and

over that no man would ever want me.

Of course like others, after many years of therapy, I know better, but I may

never get the good feelings I get when I work outside of the house.

My teachers at school and my employers always appreciated my hard work.

My 2 cents.

Fay Bayuk

300/175

10/23/01

Dr

[Guest guest]

What is the definition of lazy? I'm starting to think: Lazy=hates

> > self, rebells

I had always considered myself to be lazy. Then one day my younger sister

made the remark.... " , I don't think you are lazy at all....there are

just some people who are 'low energy' and that is you!' It was such a

freeing revelation to me.......I mean, we have no problem referring to

someone as a 'high energy' person and think that it is a

compliment.......then why can't there just be 'low energy' people without it

being a negative thing?? P.

[Guest guest]

Sometimes it's hard to define " lazy. " I used to wonder why it was that I

could never seem to complete tasks at home, when I was so effective and

efficient and work. My mother and a good psychiatrist helped me to define my

" problem. " At work, I had a set of tasks, with an exact procedure to follow

for each (if you can call police work exact. ). So, at the very least, I

had a mental checklist to follow. At home, it is a different story. I have

ADD. I start one task, and get side tracked...pick up a room, go to put

something away, then find something in THAT room that needs attention, and

so on, until I've completely forgotten to go back to the original task. My

husband will laugh at me. We'll be working outside, for example, and he'll

send me to get a tool...on my way to the tool shed, I'll see a weed that

needs to be pulled up. Thirty minutes later, he'll come looking for me. I'll

be pulling weeds and completely forgotten what it was I was going after for

him. Now, I make lists, and I keep it with me, and check off each thing as I

complete it. The other part of my " laziness " is chronic major depression.

I'll be on medication for it for the rest of my life. Fortunately, the

medication and the lists help keep me on track. If I don't use both of these

tools, I become overwhelmed and don't know where to start, and consequently,

I don't get anything done. I mentally collapse. I even forget to eat. When

this happens, if you didn't know me well, you'd swear I was lazy beyond

belief, and the world's worst procrastinator. I'm lucky to have friends and

family that recognize when I am " straying " from my routine, and give me

gentle reminders. I keep a sticky note here on my monitor reminding me to

take my medication.

Anyway, that's my version of lazy...

Jac

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