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Slap my face!

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I just did the stupidest, stupidest thing!

I got up this morning, went to a meditation meeting, came home, fed

the kids, patted the hasbeen on the head, walked the dogs for two

hours (!), went to the gym for an hour workout, then to the store for

some fat free cottage cheese for lunch and chicken breast and snow

peas for dinner. So far, so good.

Got home, saw the persimmon cake that I made for the first time

yesterday, on which I spent over 2 hours and totally burned. (I

thought two hours was a little long!). I'm about to throw out this

expensive ring mold doorstop, break it in half to see the

inside...hmm...it looked good. I proceeded to eat the middle out of

that entire cake, complete with walnuts and cherries, and threw the

carcass away.

I am so full, I am miserable. If I could purge I would.

Honestly,though, it's my brain that needs purging. What an idiot!!

Well, I thought about it and I'm pretty sure I have the answer. I

know that thirst masquerades as hunger. I should have downed a quart

of water before I even left the gym.

Sigh. Progress, not perfection. Maybe this realization combined

with my next hour of misery will teach me a lesson.

I love this definition:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, each time expecting a

different result.

Bloated smiles,

Vicki A.

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> I am so full, I am miserable. If I could purge I would.

> Honestly,though, it's my brain that needs purging. What an idiot!!

>

> Well, I thought about it and I'm pretty sure I have the answer. I

> know that thirst masquerades as hunger. I should have downed a quart

> of water before I even left the gym.

At least you recognize the lesson there. There is the beginning of healing.

Did you know that the fat free cottage cheese is much higher in carbs than

the regular? Compromise with the reduced fat (2%) if you want to keep fats

to a minimum, but don't sabotage yourself with needless carbs.

Hang in there, and I promise I won't slap you -- I abhor violence.

Hugs...

~Lyn G

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Vicki, I don't think it was stupidity, just temporary insanity. I have

those days to. I just have to decide not to spend more then one day to

get over it and move on. I must believe that you will be fine. Just

think of it this way, now you have some pretty terrific food ready for

your next healthy binge.

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs.

SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs.

Current Weight 302 lbs.

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

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