2 more days

[Guest guest]

Well 2 more days and I will be on the losing side. I am so excited.

I miss my emails from some of you. They keep me going. Deb thanks

for keeping in touch with me. I was telling my angel today on the

phone I am so excited about this surgery. I know things could go

wrong. I could die from it. I am not afraid. I am at peace with

myself. I keep seeing my mother laying there so gray in the hospital

and I don't want to be like her I keep telling myself. I read

everything there is on this surgery. I could get my hands on. A book

I read said to make out a will, living will, and write letters to

love ones so I did back in August. I think I found peace since than.

I have everyone and everything taken care of. I know I am going to

be GREAT. Nothing can be as painful as it is to see a love one

suffering, or yourself having pain in your body you can't get rid

of. I can't hardly walk cause of my knees hurting so bad. Doctors

says it is cause of the weight I am caring. Well lets see in a month

if they go away. I can't wait for that. I am hoping for 20 lb lost

in 6 weeks. Than I don't care if it takes me 2 years to get it off

at least this time it will come off and STAY OFF. Thanks for

listening to me.

Joyce

11/12/03