Guest guest Posted April 19, 2003 Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 Hi I know that this is an pancreas support group, but I could sure use some support right now. I think I need to leave my husband. I have asked myself the question, " am I better off with him or without him? " and I think I am at the point of " without him. " He is a rage-aholic and I can't take his going off on me anymore. Everything is my fault. He hates my son and mkes it known DAILY. I have tried to keep it together for nine years, but don't think I can anymore. Now, up to now, it was easier to stay. I hate the thought of packing, moving, extra expenses, etc. I have no family or friends, really to speak of, here in Mesa, so it is hard. AND none of this stress is good for my pancreas!!! Thanks for listening... Cecilia Cecilia soce@... Mesa, Arizona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2003 Report Share Posted April 20, 2003 Hi Cecilia I am new to this site, so although you didn't say so in your message, I am assuming you are a cp sufferer. I feel for you in your situation, because stress is the last thing you need with your condition. Would your husband consider marriage counselling or have you thought of joining the AA for family members of alcoholics? If he isn't prepared to seek help, perhaps you could seek counselling in helping you come to a decision. Kind regards Ethne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2003 Report Share Posted April 20, 2003 In a message dated 4/20/03 4:14:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time, soce@... writes: > Hi Cecilia, Your decision is one that is usually very hard to make. Also, very hard to really give effective advice. But the old saw of " If it hurts when you do that, then don't do that " Moving out is scary and can be a real trial in itself but usually ends up not being as tough as imagined. And a new start could be better for your physical condition. As for friends, even casual, you might participate in the closest Purdue alumni club. Ya gotta know there is one in Phoenix. Generally a good bunch of folks. Best Wishes, Poncho - GA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2003 Report Share Posted April 20, 2003 > Hi I know that this is an pancreas support group, but I could sure use some support right now. I think I need to leave my husband....> > Thanks for listenin, Cecilia>>> Dear Cecilia, I just wanted you to know that you will be in my prayers while you go through this time of struggling with such a hard decision. Although this is a " pancreas support group " I would hope everyone would feel comfortable enough to share when they are going through a difficult time. Life itself can be difficult. Life with pancreatitis is very difficult. And you are right, stress is hard on your pancreas and your whole body and emotional being. Please be sure to keep in touch. Take care, Gail West, Indiana Midwest Regional Representative Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 Right now just my husband, my mother and her sister knows. My dad may know too, but I don't know how much. I probably need to have a sit- down with him before he starts telling his mom and siblings. Everyone in his family is smarter than anyone else, so I'm sure i would have a lot of unwanted commentary. And I don't like a lot of attention focused on my health issues...never have, except with select groups of people like you guys. I also will not tell my in-laws as they have always made fun of me whenever I tried to diet...they're a bunch of skinnies who wouldn't understand. My sister-in-law (who is not so skinny) is always trying to get me to eat dessert or whatever when she knows I'm trying to lose weight. So I figure she can eat her heart out wondering how I lost the weight (if I get to have the surgery). W. > I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble > discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for > surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family > (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me > but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I > have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the > surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. > > What should I do? > > Thanks for you help > > Chris > RNY prepop 11/12/03 > (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 After making the decision to have wls, I gently told my mom about it. She was so hysterical, after all " you could die from surgery " when I explained to her that " I could die from not having surgery " and took her with me to a support group meeting and gave her free reign of any questions to anyone. She is in such a hurry for me to hurry up and do it. Funny how mom's are! Stef Re: Family Issues Right now just my husband, my mother and her sister knows. My dad may know too, but I don't know how much. I probably need to have a sit- down with him before he starts telling his mom and siblings. Everyone in his family is smarter than anyone else, so I'm sure i would have a lot of unwanted commentary. And I don't like a lot of attention focused on my health issues...never have, except with select groups of people like you guys. I also will not tell my in-laws as they have always made fun of me whenever I tried to diet...they're a bunch of skinnies who wouldn't understand. My sister-in-law (who is not so skinny) is always trying to get me to eat dessert or whatever when she knows I'm trying to lose weight. So I figure she can eat her heart out wondering how I lost the weight (if I get to have the surgery). W. > I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble > discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for > surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family > (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me > but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I > have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the > surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. > > What should I do? > > Thanks for you help > > Chris > RNY prepop 11/12/03 > (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 Actually several of my family members are jeleous that my insurance company covers wls, because their's don't. They're still very supportive though. My sil who's a 100 #'s soaking wet even wished me good luck and did some reserach about it on the web after I told her and asked a couple questions the next time we spoke. The only people I havn't directly told is my mil and gmil, and that's just because I don't want to listen to them. Both always seems to harp on the bad side of everything, and I know them they'll be the one harping about how people die because of this surgery. Once I get a date I'll tell them. Maybe......lol. ~Tanja > I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble > discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for > surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family > (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me > but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I > have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the > surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. > > What should I do? > > Thanks for you help > > Chris > RNY prepop 11/12/03 > (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2003 Report Share Posted October 21, 2003 In a message dated 10/21/2003 10:02:01 AM Central Standard Time, tcpar2@... writes: I always have my online support groups that I love very much. I don't feel that anyone can tell you what to do, think about it and your heart will tell you what to do and who you can trust. Take care, Constance You know I get really ill at these so called friends that don't know the meaning of the word. You would think that you have done or are contemplating doing something to hurt them by wanting to help yourself. I say throw them all away and get some real friends. I am the type that simply tell them what to kiss. In no uncertain terms, always have been. Of course I have always been one that only gives out info on a need to know basis. Most people I have found will let you down. The only real support I have seen is in the support groups. I do have to say that I have been blessed by my family who all support me. My sister and I have both had this and I have another sister who is working on getting it done. Of course we grew up to believe that you love each other and support the decisions that we make for ourselves. If not, then talk about it, but don't create hard feelings. I have heard, " Oh your gonna change " or " Oh you will go wild " well I got those few people some news. As far as changing...yes I will. I will be healthier, happier, more active, more comfortable, and more involved in life. As far as going wild? Not hardly! A person can be wild no matter what the size. And besides there are many versions of wild! So all these people that are having a problem with " our " decision...well let me just say... " SNAP OUT OF IT OR GET THE HE** ON DOWN THE ROAD! That is just the way I feel about it. God Bless and Skinny Wishes to us all! Wolfie Leeds, Alabama Lap RNY August 27,2003 Dr. Lee A. Schmitt, M.D. Medical Center East Beginning Weight: 336 " Keep Em Laughing! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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