Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. What should I do? Thanks for you help Chris RNY prepop 11/12/03 (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 I think everyone has difficulty telling their families. I also know that there are loads of people out there whose families haven't been supportive or want them to have the surgery. The decision to tell your family is up to you and it is one that shouldn't be taken lightly. The major things to think about are probably, How does your family react to your weight--do they make fun of you, ignore it or always try to get you to go on one diet after another? My family didn't ignore it or make fun of me, but they were always suggesting diets to try. [Try to explaining to a woman who weighs about 98 lbs. sopping wet (my sister, even after 4 children) that you've tried all the diets in the world and nothing works! ]Another question, is anyone else in your family overweight or obese? Sometimes, if there is more than one person who has a weight problem, it is easier to tell them your decision. Sometimes though it isn't. That other person may be jealous that you decided to take your life into your own hands. It depends on your family. You know your family better than anyone else. Do you think they will be supportive of you or do you think they will think you are taking the easy way out? I was one of the lucky ones who had my family behind me 100%. The never tried to talk me out of it or suggest other things to try first and they are really pleased that is worked for me. The decision to tell your family is up to you....I know it's difficult but they are your family after all. I'm sorry if this doesn't help but it's the only advice I can give.....hope you get through this --with the support of your entire family. Good luck to you in your journey! T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/336/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 When I started researching this surgery, I didn't tell anyone, including my husband. I wanted to be as informed as I could be before discussing it with anyone. When I decided to pursue the surgery with my insurance and dr I told my husband and he was and still is very supportive. Next I told my children, i told them as I started to have my preliminary testing. Once I had surgery scheduled I told my dad, sister and my employer. Before surgery I told some people that I was having surgery to fix my acid reflux (not a whole lie, as I no longer have it). I didn't want people without the correct information to try and talk me out of it. About 2 weeks before surgery I told my Mother-in-law. She didn't say much of anything, but did visit me in the hospital. I felt I needed to tell her as every family celebration includes tons of food and I wanted her to know why I wasn't eating. This is how I handled telling people. Now I tell everyone the truth. What you should do? I guess that depends on your relationship with your family. I know some people don't tell hardly anyone, others, like me are an open book about it. I hope I helped you. Debbie R., WI 8/7/03 RNY 286/238/150 Family Issues I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. What should I do? Thanks for you help Chris RNY prepop 11/12/03 (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 Hi Tell them maybe you'll be surprised on how much support you'll have from them to.I was the same way but I called them and told them.They were all surprised but now happy mostly after the they seen me after the surgery and down 64 lbs in less then two months.So it wouldn't hurt to talk and see what they say.I wish you the best keep informed on how it's going.a friend debkroll of iowa.379/315/175. > I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had trouble > discussing this surgery with their family. I am scheduled for > surgery on November 12, and I have not told anyone in my family > (sisters, brother, mom, etc.) My husband is very supportive of me > but I just wonder if anyone else is in this type of situation. I > have an 18 year old niece who is going to be helping me out after the > surgery and she is the only other person in my family to know. > > What should I do? > > Thanks for you help > > Chris > RNY prepop 11/12/03 > (not yet approved by insurance though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 hi, this is a mighty individual issue. in my family, there's a great deal of respect & we all believe in the other's right to self- determination & self-actualization. & personally, anyone that knows me knows i have the hardest coconut on Earth. my oldest brother had a quadruple heart bypass @ the age 38!! & was diagnosed w/ diabetes, & he's only borderline MO. i traveled to be @ his side,& seeing my baby faced brother in the ICU was very difficult. (& perhaps one of the factors involved in my wls decision.) keep us posted... lori h. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 Hi I am in the same situation. I have not told my parents. I am still waiting to hear from my Ins.Co. and a final date.My hubby is 100% behind me. I am not sure (as like you)on how to tell my mom. All she has ever done is tried to shove diet pills in my face and now I am taking this all on my own. But, I have met and found some wonderful people in this group. If it was not for them I don't know what I would do, B/c they are the ones I turn too for help and advise. Good luck...and their are people on here who do listen and and not critisise you for what you are wanting to do to help yourself become healthy and live your life again.... Irvington,AL 220/preop/120? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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