Re: jealousy problem

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

What an awesome man you are. Your girlfriend is lucky, as are you, that you

have each other. That being said, let me tell you that recently my husband

has been giving me a hard time. He's been picking on me and making

comments. The other day I just sat down with him and asked him what the

problem was (he has difficulty expressing himself, unlike you). He finally

got to the point and told me that he thought I was losing weight so I could

leave him. He's been jealous of all the attention I've been getting. I

reassured him that I love him and that it's him I want to be with and no one

else (we're going to be married ten years in December).

What you need to do, I suggest, is talk to your girlfriend and explain how

you are feeling. Make sure she understands that you're not doubting her

faithfulness and that you trust her, but that you're having this anxiety

over the jealousy you feel when seeing other men looking at or paying

attention to her. Make sure that your feelings for her and her feelings for

you are mutual and as good as you feel they are. Once you have reassured

each other, it really shouldn't matter how other people are looking at her.

She can't do anything to control that and she doesn't need to get

confrontational about it (as in, " stop looking at me! " or anything like

that).

I get a lot of excess attention now from many strange sources (including a

brother-in-law who told me at his son's wedding, " Deb, I wouldn't throw you

outta bed! " ) and I just think it's a scream. Sometimes I just roar with

laughter at the whole situation. People who wouldn't give me the time of

day in the past can't wait to start a conversation with me now. I think

it's hysterical. I don't do anything at all to encourage it and I do not

play headgames with my husband, so I only work on changing the things I can

(myself) and I don't worry about the rest.

I'm sure when you speak to your girlfriend, you will have the reassurances

you need to keep this in perspective and to see it for the humorous

situation that it really is. Good luck to both of you.

live each day like it's your last... love like you've never been hurt...

Deb in Hazlet, NJ

" Debbie Dancer "

distal rny

September 3, 2002

386/221/165

BMI 60/32.6/24

-165

-92.5 "

Angel to Bill, Debbie (10/13/03) Ilene, Roy, and Ro