Re: Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

[Guest guest]

I have begged him to go for counseling but he is one of those " macho " men. I

would love to - NOT FIGURIVELY " smack him in the face. We have been together

since 1981. He is/was a great guy. The man I see now I don't know and I

don't want to know.

Hey, I think life is about seeing how many support groups you are eligble for

- just KIDDING!!!!

I feel like a weight has been lifted and now I have to forge ahead as opposed

to being depressed. At least have a path...

Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks my

heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

I have begged him to go for counseling but he is one of those " macho " men. I

would love to - NOT FIGURIVELY " smack him in the face. We have been together

since 1981. He is/was a great guy. The man I see now I don't know and I

don't want to know.

Hey, I think life is about seeing how many support groups you are eligble for

- just KIDDING!!!!

I feel like a weight has been lifted and now I have to forge ahead as opposed

to being depressed. At least have a path...

Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks my

heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

Dear sweet Rosemary,

I am so very sorry this has come to this. Maybe the scare will bring him

around. Bless you. I wish I could come up with the magic formula & be of

some help---I am not trained in this & feel that YOU are the one to know

what you need to do......

I would hope that he would be still there for you financially as you will

surely need much help with your precious family. 3 with CF..heavens , that

is more than many can handle. You have sure carried it off well so far.

Would his family be able to help convince him he needs to go to counseling??

He is suffering from " head in the sand syndrome " . you also need to have his

support with the kiddo's.It is so sad that he doesn't see it himself. The

children it seems can feel his anger.....It most likely is because he cant

do anything to get away from the CF...maybe also a guilt feeling. I have

heard over the last 18 years many that has happened to. Sorry to

say.....having yours DX later could have something to do with it too.

I really do feel badly for you......IF THERE IS ANYTHING , that old grandmom

here can--could do to help you, please call me (1--toll free),

write. whatever

or you want to get away. I will keep the light on for you/ & the kids....

Please Know I REALLY care. if you want to talk more about it to any of us ,

you know we are here to listen/share as you WANT too.

LOVE & HUGS & 'my wishes " for a solution

GrandmomBEV

Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new term.

Weather kind of depressing.

I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am so

scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach

that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

me? "

What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

that

her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had it.

He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

does

is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

off

my chest.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

Dear sweet Rosemary,

I am so very sorry this has come to this. Maybe the scare will bring him

around. Bless you. I wish I could come up with the magic formula & be of

some help---I am not trained in this & feel that YOU are the one to know

what you need to do......

I would hope that he would be still there for you financially as you will

surely need much help with your precious family. 3 with CF..heavens , that

is more than many can handle. You have sure carried it off well so far.

Would his family be able to help convince him he needs to go to counseling??

He is suffering from " head in the sand syndrome " . you also need to have his

support with the kiddo's.It is so sad that he doesn't see it himself. The

children it seems can feel his anger.....It most likely is because he cant

do anything to get away from the CF...maybe also a guilt feeling. I have

heard over the last 18 years many that has happened to. Sorry to

say.....having yours DX later could have something to do with it too.

I really do feel badly for you......IF THERE IS ANYTHING , that old grandmom

here can--could do to help you, please call me (1--toll free),

write. whatever

or you want to get away. I will keep the light on for you/ & the kids....

Please Know I REALLY care. if you want to talk more about it to any of us ,

you know we are here to listen/share as you WANT too.

LOVE & HUGS & 'my wishes " for a solution

GrandmomBEV

Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new term.

Weather kind of depressing.

I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am so

scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach

that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

me? "

What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

that

her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had it.

He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

does

is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

off

my chest.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

Rosemary,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I totally understand what you

are talking about. My husband is the same in alot of ways. he has gotten very

short tempered, etc... Although we are not to divorce yet.

Just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you.

Vondie

[Guest guest]

Rosemary,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I totally understand what you

are talking about. My husband is the same in alot of ways. he has gotten very

short tempered, etc... Although we are not to divorce yet.

Just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you.

Vondie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/2003 10:06:00 AM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

> Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new term.

>

> Weather kind of depressing.

>

> I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am

> so

> scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my

> stomach

> that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

> me? "

>

> What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

> wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

> that

> her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

> yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had it.

>

> He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

> does

> is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

>

> I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

> off

> my chest.

>

>

>

> Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I

> coined

> the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready

> for

> this - TOBI after their medication!

>

Oh Rosemary I feel so bad for you! But I do know how you feel. My husband

finally got on some antidepressants and is so much better. My daughter also

said to me one day how Dad doesn't do anything when he is with us Mom all he

does is lays on the couch. I told him that and said he needed to do something

about it. I said it's really bad when the kids start noticing it. Live is to

short to be miserable! He has been through a lot in the last year and I know

it has been tough on a lot of the fireman that went through the Sept. 11. He

really needs to get help but he can't do anything for anyone until he helps

himself. If this is what you really want I'm here for you whenever you need

someone to talk. Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/2003 10:06:00 AM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

> Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new term.

>

> Weather kind of depressing.

>

> I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am

> so

> scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my

> stomach

> that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

> me? "

>

> What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

> wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

> that

> her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

> yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had it.

>

> He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

> does

> is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

>

> I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

> off

> my chest.

>

>

>

> Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I

> coined

> the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready

> for

> this - TOBI after their medication!

>

Oh Rosemary I feel so bad for you! But I do know how you feel. My husband

finally got on some antidepressants and is so much better. My daughter also

said to me one day how Dad doesn't do anything when he is with us Mom all he

does is lays on the couch. I told him that and said he needed to do something

about it. I said it's really bad when the kids start noticing it. Live is to

short to be miserable! He has been through a lot in the last year and I know

it has been tough on a lot of the fireman that went through the Sept. 11. He

really needs to get help but he can't do anything for anyone until he helps

himself. If this is what you really want I'm here for you whenever you need

someone to talk. Deb A

[Guest guest]

Rosemary I am sorry to hear this. Does he know you're looking into divorce? I

only ask because some people do not realize how they are acting and need a slap

in the face (figuratively) and maybe if you tried some counseling things could

change. I don't mean to be poking into your business and I apologize if this

has already been tried. In any case, we're here for you and please feel free to

vent any time.

Love,

mom of Nick age 20 no cf

and age 18 wcf

AngMom 74 aol im

[Guest guest]

Rosemary I am sorry to hear this. Does he know you're looking into divorce? I

only ask because some people do not realize how they are acting and need a slap

in the face (figuratively) and maybe if you tried some counseling things could

change. I don't mean to be poking into your business and I apologize if this

has already been tried. In any case, we're here for you and please feel free to

vent any time.

Love,

mom of Nick age 20 no cf

and age 18 wcf

AngMom 74 aol im

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/2003 4:21:23 PM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

> Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

> doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks

> my

> heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary,

CF is a lot for anyone to handle and sometimes it takes time to soak it all

in. But their are also some people that can never deal with things and you

husband might be that kind of a person. I know there are some people that

just dream of a perfect family with everything they want and need and

something like CF comes in and destroys that dream and there is nothing you

can do about. You have know control of being able to get rid of it. Know

money in the world can make CF go away. But you know what he needs to GROW

UP!! Because life is not perfect there are ups and downs and he needs to deal

with it! He still have 3 precious life's that he helped make and had a part

in them having CF. So he needs to learn to coop with it!! Sorry for being so

bitchy but I know what you are going through mine can be just a miserable at

times. But at least now he has gotten some help and I am praying it

continues. Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/2003 4:21:23 PM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

> Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

> doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks

> my

> heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary,

CF is a lot for anyone to handle and sometimes it takes time to soak it all

in. But their are also some people that can never deal with things and you

husband might be that kind of a person. I know there are some people that

just dream of a perfect family with everything they want and need and

something like CF comes in and destroys that dream and there is nothing you

can do about. You have know control of being able to get rid of it. Know

money in the world can make CF go away. But you know what he needs to GROW

UP!! Because life is not perfect there are ups and downs and he needs to deal

with it! He still have 3 precious life's that he helped make and had a part

in them having CF. So he needs to learn to coop with it!! Sorry for being so

bitchy but I know what you are going through mine can be just a miserable at

times. But at least now he has gotten some help and I am praying it

continues. Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/3/2003 4:21:23 PM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

> Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

> doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks

> my

> heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary,

CF is a lot for anyone to handle and sometimes it takes time to soak it all

in. But their are also some people that can never deal with things and you

husband might be that kind of a person. I know there are some people that

just dream of a perfect family with everything they want and need and

something like CF comes in and destroys that dream and there is nothing you

can do about. You have know control of being able to get rid of it. Know

money in the world can make CF go away. But you know what he needs to GROW

UP!! Because life is not perfect there are ups and downs and he needs to deal

with it! He still have 3 precious life's that he helped make and had a part

in them having CF. So he needs to learn to coop with it!! Sorry for being so

bitchy but I know what you are going through mine can be just a miserable at

times. But at least now he has gotten some help and I am praying it

continues. Deb A

[Guest guest]

Dear Rosemary,

You are doing what you fell you HAVE to do...YES, this is about CF & just

how it is definitely possible to strongly affect each & everyone in the

marriage---family life.

You are doing well & I just wish there were some special words or a magic

wand I could just wave over his head(no-not hit him over the head :) You

always put humor into your circumstances......bless you......Please write as

often as you can/will

or want to......You KNOW we are all here for you.....I have always admired

your spirit & know how much you love, not just YOUR family, but all here as

well......

LOVE & HUGS,& special wishes

grandmomBEV

I'll keep the light on

Message-----

From: ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@...

Sent: Friday, January 03, 2003 5:20 PM

To: cfparents

Subject: Re: Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

I have begged him to go for counseling but he is one of those " macho " men.

I

would love to - NOT FIGURIVELY " smack him in the face. We have been

together

since 1981. He is/was a great guy. The man I see now I don't know and I

don't want to know.

Hey, I think life is about seeing how many support groups you are eligble

for

- just KIDDING!!!!

I feel like a weight has been lifted and now I have to forge ahead as

opposed

to being depressed. At least have a path...

Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks

my

heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

Dear Rosemary,

You are doing what you fell you HAVE to do...YES, this is about CF & just

how it is definitely possible to strongly affect each & everyone in the

marriage---family life.

You are doing well & I just wish there were some special words or a magic

wand I could just wave over his head(no-not hit him over the head :) You

always put humor into your circumstances......bless you......Please write as

often as you can/will

or want to......You KNOW we are all here for you.....I have always admired

your spirit & know how much you love, not just YOUR family, but all here as

well......

LOVE & HUGS,& special wishes

grandmomBEV

I'll keep the light on

Message-----

From: ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@...

Sent: Friday, January 03, 2003 5:20 PM

To: cfparents

Subject: Re: Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

I have begged him to go for counseling but he is one of those " macho " men.

I

would love to - NOT FIGURIVELY " smack him in the face. We have been

together

since 1981. He is/was a great guy. The man I see now I don't know and I

don't want to know.

Hey, I think life is about seeing how many support groups you are eligble

for

- just KIDDING!!!!

I feel like a weight has been lifted and now I have to forge ahead as

opposed

to being depressed. At least have a path...

Please, don't feel like your poking, after all I am telling you this which

doesn't directly have to do with CF but truly does in my case. It breaks

my

heart that CF has now taken my marriage too.

Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I coined

the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready for

this - TOBI after their medication!

[Guest guest]

Rosemary,

I'm so sorry it has come to this, but you have to do what is best for you

and the children. I really don't know how you do all you do. I only have

one child (who is relatively healthy), I can't imagine dealing with 3 all

with cf. You are my hero! My thoughts are with you as you go thru this

difficult time.

Angie P. (mom to cf, 2.9 yo, wcf)

Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

> Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new

term.

> Weather kind of depressing.

>

> I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am

so

> scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my

stomach

> that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

> me? "

>

> What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

> wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

that

> her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

> yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had

it.

> He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

does

> is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

>

> I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

off

> my chest.

>

>

>

> Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I

coined

> the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready

for

> this - TOBI after their medication!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Rosemary,

I'm so sorry it has come to this, but you have to do what is best for you

and the children. I really don't know how you do all you do. I only have

one child (who is relatively healthy), I can't imagine dealing with 3 all

with cf. You are my hero! My thoughts are with you as you go thru this

difficult time.

Angie P. (mom to cf, 2.9 yo, wcf)

Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

> Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new

term.

> Weather kind of depressing.

>

> I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am

so

> scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my

stomach

> that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

> me? "

>

> What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

> wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

that

> her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

> yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had

it.

> He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

does

> is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

>

> I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

off

> my chest.

>

>

>

> Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I

coined

> the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready

for

> this - TOBI after their medication!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oops, that last email to Rosemary was supposed to be signed Angie P. mom to

JC (not cf)

Re: [cfparents) Status/boring and winding...

> Hi! I am alive in NY with lots of rain/snow " wintery mix " is the new

term.

> Weather kind of depressing.

>

> I called a lawyer yesterday to find out about divorcing my husband. I am

so

> scared and nervous. I have that same sick feeling in the pit of my

stomach

> that I had when was diagnosed " How am I going to do this? " and " Why

> me? "

>

> What has finally pushed me was both boys saying " Daddy is always so mean I

> wish he was at work " on seperate times. Their friends mother commented

that

> her son (who notices nothing) commented on my husband always being mad and

> yelling. My daughter is afraid to approproach him and I have truly had

it.

> He does NOTHING with their treatments, the house, the kids, etc. All he

does

> is play is freaking guitar. HE was a great guy. He cannot cope.

>

> I feel like a part of me died. Sorry for rambling just trying to get it

off

> my chest.

>

>

>

> Rosemary in New York with 3 children with CF - they are 12, 10, 6...I

coined

> the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " ; and now we have a dog named - are you ready

for

> this - TOBI after their medication!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Rosemary,

I am sad and glad to hear of your decision. I am sad that he couldn't

get it together enough to save your marriage. I am glad that you are

looking out for what is best for the well being of your kids and

yourself. I have been reading your emails for quite a while and frankly

the way you mentioned him in your emails, I was wondering if this was the

road you would eventually take. It takes a lot of courage to change your

life in this manner. At one time, my husband and I were having a lot of

problems (three years of counseling helped) and we discussed divorce. It

is a tough decision and certainly not an easy road. It is my sincere

hope that at the end of that road, that you and your kids find a happier

place. I am sure it's really hard right now but it sounds like you are

doing the right thing.

Law - mom to Emma 2 1/2 years old w/cf and Isabelle 4 years old

wo/cf

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