NCC:ENCOURAGMENT IF YOU NEED IT!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Last night I spent 6 hours in the hospital because of a knife stabbing

headache, dizzyness,confusion, and blurred vision my most frequent symptoms

of my disability from chiari. Anyway, after a cat scan, iv, and a couple of

different meds, the resident sent me home with 4 different perscriptions.

My regular neurosurgeon surgeon called me this morning and told me that

everything was fine with the cat scan and there is no hydrocephilis or any

other reason that he can see to have another brain surgery and I " just have

to get used to being in pain because some people who have multiple problems

like a chiari malformation and a disc injury etc... never get over their

pain and will always have it and you seem to be one of them. " Needless to

say, I was very upset. Not just upset but angry at him. I thought that if I

was his wife or daughter he wouldn't give up so easily.

I went to counsel with one of my pastors tonight and I have a different

perspective on things now.. IT HELPS ME I HOPE IT WILL HELP YOU TOO!!!!!

This doctor is doing everything he humanly knows how. I probably should

go to a different specialist for another opinion. ( I already have the apt.)

I just have to keep pushing through the trial and wait to see where God

brings me. You see I learned that experience is the toughest teacher because

you get the test first and the lesson comes afterward.( I wish I could take

credit for that, I can't though) Anyway, what my pastor said was to wait and

take one day at a time, don't look down the road too far just look to today,

otherwise it becomes overwhelming. Try to focus on the positives that are

coming out of this whole thing.

For Instance:

I don't need to feel guilty because my kids have to help me by cooking,

cleaning, laundry, etc, I am helping them to become better spouses and

helping them to become more independent and they are learning compassion for

people with disabilities.

& I don't need to feel guilty because I can't play soccer or throw a

frisbie or go on a rollercoaster or boat with my kids anymore. I can just

replace them with differnt activities that I can do with them like read

books, have a family movie night, go have a picnic in the park , things less

strenuous.

& He also told me that God is using this trial to help draw us closer

together as a family. Because we all are working together as a unit. Know

what, he's right for the first time in 18 1/2 years of marriage we are

working together as a family. I don't have to be supermom or super wife any

longer. I handed in my " S " .

I could go on and on....

Anyway I wrote all this to say. Look for the rainbow in the clouds and

thank God each day that you are alive. Because God will take all the

negatives and turn them around and use them for His purpose.

I don't know if this has helped anyone but if only one person has gained

a different view of their situation it was worth it for me.

Thanks for listening. Have a painfree day. Bethfrom long island

22mm herniation decompressed, dura gratf, 1/2 removal of C1 and partial C2,

tonsils shrunk, base of skull replaced with titanium plate. September 2002

and lumbar lamenectomy L5-S1 October 2002