Re: mojo/turned into diareaha of the hands...lol

[Guest guest]

Trac, I have a younger sister who is in severe denial all the time like your Kim. However, in my sis's

case, it has nothing to do with Lupus, more to do with family matters...but the hurt, ideas, and just

plain "aloneness" of it are the same, really. I think such people cannot bear to face reality, and a lot

of the time it is just in one area. They may be perfectly rational in most things, but absolutely unable

to deal with a thing that scares the poop out of them. It is especially frightening to them that they

are related to you and could also carry a predisposition to the disease, or any one of the family of

autoimmune problems we deal with on a daily basis.

I know, before getting a definitive dx, many of us are so frightened we put off seeing a rheumy, or

anyone, just because we can't stand the idea of being "really" sick. After all, for years we were told

it was "all in our heads". LOL Things have come to a pretty pass when we actually wish for the days

when we were told that, haven't they? It would mean that we, too, could deny what is happening to

us. Tell Kim to enjoy the luxury of denial as long as she can, because eventually...inevitably, she will

have to come to terms with your condition. Instead of trying to share with her, learn to accept the

fact that she can't respond on that level, and come to us for understanding. That is why we are

here, honey. Most, if not all, of us have experienced discovering that our closest friends, relations,

and neighbors are helpless in the face of chronic pain and illness, and if they are not in a helping

profession, cannot deal with it.

I know it's not the same as an in person hug, but I'm sending you lots of cyber hugs anyway, and

hoping that you can come to terms with Kim's failure in this one area. She, too, is only human, and

apt to be imperfect just like the rest of us.

Loving hugs, MM aka: Mike, one of the moderators (((((((((((((((((((((((Trac)))))))))))))))))))))

[Guest guest]

Trac, I have a younger sister who is in severe denial all the time like your Kim. However, in my sis's

case, it has nothing to do with Lupus, more to do with family matters...but the hurt, ideas, and just

plain "aloneness" of it are the same, really. I think such people cannot bear to face reality, and a lot

of the time it is just in one area. They may be perfectly rational in most things, but absolutely unable

to deal with a thing that scares the poop out of them. It is especially frightening to them that they

are related to you and could also carry a predisposition to the disease, or any one of the family of

autoimmune problems we deal with on a daily basis.

I know, before getting a definitive dx, many of us are so frightened we put off seeing a rheumy, or

anyone, just because we can't stand the idea of being "really" sick. After all, for years we were told

it was "all in our heads". LOL Things have come to a pretty pass when we actually wish for the days

when we were told that, haven't they? It would mean that we, too, could deny what is happening to

us. Tell Kim to enjoy the luxury of denial as long as she can, because eventually...inevitably, she will

have to come to terms with your condition. Instead of trying to share with her, learn to accept the

fact that she can't respond on that level, and come to us for understanding. That is why we are

here, honey. Most, if not all, of us have experienced discovering that our closest friends, relations,

and neighbors are helpless in the face of chronic pain and illness, and if they are not in a helping

profession, cannot deal with it.

I know it's not the same as an in person hug, but I'm sending you lots of cyber hugs anyway, and

hoping that you can come to terms with Kim's failure in this one area. She, too, is only human, and

apt to be imperfect just like the rest of us.

Loving hugs, MM aka: Mike, one of the moderators (((((((((((((((((((((((Trac)))))))))))))))))))))

[Guest guest]

Trac, I have a younger sister who is in severe denial all the time like your Kim. However, in my sis's

case, it has nothing to do with Lupus, more to do with family matters...but the hurt, ideas, and just

plain "aloneness" of it are the same, really. I think such people cannot bear to face reality, and a lot

of the time it is just in one area. They may be perfectly rational in most things, but absolutely unable

to deal with a thing that scares the poop out of them. It is especially frightening to them that they

are related to you and could also carry a predisposition to the disease, or any one of the family of

autoimmune problems we deal with on a daily basis.

I know, before getting a definitive dx, many of us are so frightened we put off seeing a rheumy, or

anyone, just because we can't stand the idea of being "really" sick. After all, for years we were told

it was "all in our heads". LOL Things have come to a pretty pass when we actually wish for the days

when we were told that, haven't they? It would mean that we, too, could deny what is happening to

us. Tell Kim to enjoy the luxury of denial as long as she can, because eventually...inevitably, she will

have to come to terms with your condition. Instead of trying to share with her, learn to accept the

fact that she can't respond on that level, and come to us for understanding. That is why we are

here, honey. Most, if not all, of us have experienced discovering that our closest friends, relations,

and neighbors are helpless in the face of chronic pain and illness, and if they are not in a helping

profession, cannot deal with it.

I know it's not the same as an in person hug, but I'm sending you lots of cyber hugs anyway, and

hoping that you can come to terms with Kim's failure in this one area. She, too, is only human, and

apt to be imperfect just like the rest of us.

Loving hugs, MM aka: Mike, one of the moderators (((((((((((((((((((((((Trac)))))))))))))))))))))

[Guest guest]

Traci

Sorry about your car - same thing happened to me and my husband.

Thank God it was a humongous piece of rubber that hit us so it didnt

do any permanent damage. Scared the s_it out of me though!!

About your best friend...that can be very difficult. For me, its my

mom that acts like that. I guess for whatever reason the truth is

just too difficult for them to handle. I hope that with time, they

will learn that if they want to be a part of your life, they will

have to learn to deal with it. Its up to you to decide how important

this relationship is to you. I think its kind of like anything in

life - you cant force somebody to face a problem, they have to want

to. Only then can we help them to help us.

well, i hope that things change for your sake. We all need all the

love and support that we can get.

take care

meg