Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 Hi, I figured that someone here might have some info on the following, given that all of us have done a lot of homework with insurance and doctors. My father in-law has multiple infarct dementia. That's a series of small strokes in the frontal lobes that are now not communicating properly. He's 80 years old and quite healthy, having been a straping man most of his life. 3 1/2 years fighting in Europe, seeing two concentration camps and having a rough time when he came back from what he saw, and then a 37 year career on the NYPD culminating as a 1st grade detective [only 60 when he retired] so he has a nice pension at least. The problem in many states - NY where he lives and NJ for sure - is that you can't take assets and place them in other's names within a 3 year window. I don't see how we won't be forced to place him in assisted living within the next year as you can sit with him for a half hour and love him while he tells stories that don't make any sense. He's a great guy and that's probably why he has not been violent even once. But it is killing us, his family. My question is if anyone knows if the VA is something that can somehow help prevent or slow his assets from being drained before the system kicks in and pays? But by no means are we thinking of a VA home as I never heard anything good about them. He isn't wealthy, but probably has a net worth with his house of $200,000, max. If he were aware he'd want us to try and leave that for his wife [who is also infirm] and then his eight grandchildren's college funds. Any suggestions for when we need to do what just seems awful and unfair to us all? It's no way for such a patriotic man to end his days. But I guess him not being aware of what is happening sure beats painful cancer or the like. Thanks, Steve in NJ ACM 5-6 mm Severe tinnitus Meniere's syndrome Downbeating nystagmus Atypical TN Blocked Aqueduct [4th ventricle?] Headaches - not that often so far Told I'm lucky to not need surgery yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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