Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 What is the actual legal custody arrangement you have with Lou Salli? This sounds just too much to bear. You've been playing so nicely, and it's just not fair. > Tonight was just awful. > > Bear with me. > > Sophie had a softball game. Last week Sophie's softball team had their pictures taken; they got their uniforms the same day. When Sophie arrived home, she did not have a hat. I wondered about it. > > I didn't know that Sophie had a softball game until this morning. Apparently the coach gave all the game details to Lou who did not bother to let me know about it. When I objected, he said that I never told him anything unless he asked. I have been calling him every morning to let him know what is going on but apparently that is not enough. I do not think that most divorced or nearly divorced parents do this; I shall stop doing it in the future for apparently it is not appreciated. > > No hat ever materialized. Lou told me to please look for it. But I did not think it had ever come into the house for I had never seen it. However I looked for it in all the places that it might be without ever finding it. > > Lou was furious about this. And then we had the discussion about the soccer pictures. He took Sophie to her softball game and he took Robbie and Putter. He told me that he would bring Robbie and Putter home in the middle of the game so that he could watch Sophie play. > > As he drove off, Sophie later told me that he said that I was too lazy to bother looking for the hat. > > Her game started at 6 pm. I expected Robbie and Putter around 6:30. They did not arrive. I figured that he was keeping them throughout the game, but we had parted on such very hostile terms that I worried. Thoughts of kidnapping entered my head. I didn't really believe them, but I could not relax. > > They were not home at 8 p.m. I called Lou's apartment and got his answering machine. They were not home at 9 p.m. All I could do was pace the floors and wonder what I should do. I called Sophie's coach and found that Sophie was at the game and that it had ended at 8:20. That was not too long ago. But by 9:15, I was really frightened and worried. > > I told Enrique and to call me if the three younger kids ever got home. I got in my car and I drove to Lou's apartment. On the way, at every light, I called on my cell phone. No answering machine picked up; the phone just rang and rang. His answering machine always picks up.. So I knew he was there. > > I pulled into his driveway, and knocked loudly on the door. I had my cell phone set at 911 in case he turned violent. I told him I wanted the kids now and why hadn't he informed me that he was taking them to his place. " Well, " he said, nastily, " I don't have a cell phone. " > > But they had been at his place for over an hour, Sophie later confirmed. He did it to torture me. That is the only explanation. > > I told him that I was taking the kids home now. He said that they were taking a bath. I started to go and get them but he told me that I was not welcome. So I waited. > > They all came down and I drove off with them. Sophie said that Lou had told them that they would come over to his house to watch a movie and take a bath. She had no idea that I did not konw. > > I have them all safe at home again, but I wonder just how long he had planned to keep them at his apartment, torturing me as I paced the floors at home and waited. > > I call my lawyer tomorrow. If I am not welcome in his apartment, I assure you all that he is not welcome in my house. > > Salli > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 the man is truly psycho. i hope you can get a restraining order against him before he really hurts someone ~~~ Imagine all the people, living life in peace - Lennon ~~~ ------------------------- gina, 31, ny single mom to - kailey, 8, autism, hyperlexia, depression, anxiety, OCD, DSI trevor, 3, multiple developmental delays, no " official " dx yet parker jade, due 7-25-03 :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 He stoops to new lows. Since he cannot play nicely then he shall have to be limited to following the letter of the law spelled out in the legal papers regarding his visitation. What a long long night for you. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Salli, This doesn't sound good. Be careful. Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Wouldn't it be considered kidnapping if you didn't know where they were? ellen Re: Tortured Okay, the pictures were petty and childish but keeping the kids for that long and not calling, that's abusive. Even if he'd never kidnap them, he's trying to hurt you. He's trying to control your actions even though he's not living in your house. I would definitely talk to the lawyer about it. I don't know the laws but I wonder if you could file charges against him for harrassment or something? A police report about the incident would be good to take to court if you have to push for supervised visits. Would he stop and think about being such an ass again if you told him you're going to call the cops next time he tries something like this? What an ass. (((((Salli))))) Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Wouldn't it be considered kidnapping if you didn't know where they were? ellen Re: Tortured Okay, the pictures were petty and childish but keeping the kids for that long and not calling, that's abusive. Even if he'd never kidnap them, he's trying to hurt you. He's trying to control your actions even though he's not living in your house. I would definitely talk to the lawyer about it. I don't know the laws but I wonder if you could file charges against him for harrassment or something? A police report about the incident would be good to take to court if you have to push for supervised visits. Would he stop and think about being such an ass again if you told him you're going to call the cops next time he tries something like this? What an ass. (((((Salli))))) Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Your post bought tears to my eyes. I do not know the background of Lou so I am sorry if I step out of line however he sounds dangerous and he also sounds like he will use the children to do hateful things to you regarding of the effects that it has on the children. Is there any way that his rights can be limited so that he can not be alone with the children? Extra hugs to you and those beautiful children. Warm Regards & ASD 11/25/00 in Maine Tortured Tonight was just awful. Bear with me. Sophie had a softball game. Last week Sophie's softball team had their pictures taken; they got their uniforms the same day. When Sophie arrived home, she did not have a hat. I wondered about it. I didn't know that Sophie had a softball game until this morning. Apparently the coach gave all the game details to Lou who did not bother to let me know about it. When I objected, he said that I never told him anything unless he asked. I have been calling him every morning to let him know what is going on but apparently that is not enough. I do not think that most divorced or nearly divorced parents do this; I shall stop doing it in the future for apparently it is not appreciated. No hat ever materialized. Lou told me to please look for it. But I did not think it had ever come into the house for I had never seen it. However I looked for it in all the places that it might be without ever finding it. Lou was furious about this. And then we had the discussion about the soccer pictures. He took Sophie to her softball game and he took Robbie and Putter. He told me that he would bring Robbie and Putter home in the middle of the game so that he could watch Sophie play. As he drove off, Sophie later told me that he said that I was too lazy to bother looking for the hat. Her game started at 6 pm. I expected Robbie and Putter around 6:30. They did not arrive. I figured that he was keeping them throughout the game, but we had parted on such very hostile terms that I worried. Thoughts of kidnapping entered my head. I didn't really believe them, but I could not relax. They were not home at 8 p.m. I called Lou's apartment and got his answering machine. They were not home at 9 p.m. All I could do was pace the floors and wonder what I should do. I called Sophie's coach and found that Sophie was at the game and that it had ended at 8:20. That was not too long ago. But by 9:15, I was really frightened and worried. I told Enrique and to call me if the three younger kids ever got home. I got in my car and I drove to Lou's apartment. On the way, at every light, I called on my cell phone. No answering machine picked up; the phone just rang and rang. His answering machine always picks up.. So I knew he was there. I pulled into his driveway, and knocked loudly on the door. I had my cell phone set at 911 in case he turned violent. I told him I wanted the kids now and why hadn't he informed me that he was taking them to his place. " Well, " he said, nastily, " I don't have a cell phone. " But they had been at his place for over an hour, Sophie later confirmed. He did it to torture me. That is the only explanation. I told him that I was taking the kids home now. He said that they were taking a bath. I started to go and get them but he told me that I was not welcome. So I waited. They all came down and I drove off with them. Sophie said that Lou had told them that they would come over to his house to watch a movie and take a bath. She had no idea that I did not konw. I have them all safe at home again, but I wonder just how long he had planned to keep them at his apartment, torturing me as I paced the floors at home and waited. I call my lawyer tomorrow. If I am not welcome in his apartment, I assure you all that he is not welcome in my house. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 demented bastard! you poor children. lou needs psychiatric help - is he getting any? M.G.mum to Sebastian, 11 kinda quirky(NT) Rowan, 6 extra quirky (ASD) married to and living in Northern Ontario Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 YOU are not welcome in HIS apartment? After HE sat strumming his guitar and having his FEET WASHED in your dining room during Lent? YOU are not welcome in HIS apartment when HE comes into your home and STEALS FOOD? You allow him broad and unlimited extremely generous time with his children, and he keeps them late without a word to torture you? Do call your lawyer. It is time to stop this man. Granted, he may be aspie and unaware of social crap, but not all aspies are mean spirited, vindictive, and spiteful. Aspies can be good or bad people just like any one else. You can't let it influence your view of him any longer. He's just plain an evil person. (((hugs))) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 > But they had been at his place for over an hour, Sophie later > confirmed. He did it to torture me. That is the only explanation. Why does this continue to amaze me? Isn't there anything you can do legally...on the grounds of emotional abuse? Violation of visitation agreements? At least get more structured visitation based on his being a convicted felon with no apparent remorse and showing signs of being emotionally unstable? I mean, I can see depositions from all kinds of people who have seen first-hand how abusive he is--just last week he ripped apart the school folks, right? Are you keeping track of this all--if not, just go thru the archives here...you've got names, dates, and posts outlining in detail about the stealing, etc... > I told him that I was taking the kids home now. He said that they > were taking a bath. I started to go and get them but he told me > that I was not welcome. So I waited. > That is so unreal. He wanders loose in your house, stealing food, telling the kids all about how *you* kicked him out, and then treats you like this at his house? Next time he came to my house, I'd be sure he doesn't get past the porch. What a... Please call your attorney...maybe an abuse hotline for ideas on handling potential kidnapping actions? Just from the standpoint of what this is doing to the kids emotionally, this has to be addressed by the judge who oversees your divorce (are you divorced yet? I forget where all that is)...I think the judge should REQUIRE Lou to get psychological help...can your lawyer request that? Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 > But they had been at his place for over an hour, Sophie later > confirmed. He did it to torture me. That is the only explanation. Why does this continue to amaze me? Isn't there anything you can do legally...on the grounds of emotional abuse? Violation of visitation agreements? At least get more structured visitation based on his being a convicted felon with no apparent remorse and showing signs of being emotionally unstable? I mean, I can see depositions from all kinds of people who have seen first-hand how abusive he is--just last week he ripped apart the school folks, right? Are you keeping track of this all--if not, just go thru the archives here...you've got names, dates, and posts outlining in detail about the stealing, etc... > I told him that I was taking the kids home now. He said that they > were taking a bath. I started to go and get them but he told me > that I was not welcome. So I waited. > That is so unreal. He wanders loose in your house, stealing food, telling the kids all about how *you* kicked him out, and then treats you like this at his house? Next time he came to my house, I'd be sure he doesn't get past the porch. What a... Please call your attorney...maybe an abuse hotline for ideas on handling potential kidnapping actions? Just from the standpoint of what this is doing to the kids emotionally, this has to be addressed by the judge who oversees your divorce (are you divorced yet? I forget where all that is)...I think the judge should REQUIRE Lou to get psychological help...can your lawyer request that? Raena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 > Tonight was just awful. > > > I call my lawyer tomorrow. If I am not welcome in his apartment, I assure you all that he is not welcome in my house. > > Salli > > OMG Salli. Lou is a complete and utter prick. That's it. I'm getting the next flight over and I'll kick his scrawny ass for you. ((((((((((Salli))))))))) Ali xx mum to Lyndsey,7,(NT) and Andy,5,(ASD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 > Tonight was just awful. > > > I call my lawyer tomorrow. If I am not welcome in his apartment, I assure you all that he is not welcome in my house. > > Salli > > OMG Salli. Lou is a complete and utter prick. That's it. I'm getting the next flight over and I'll kick his scrawny ass for you. ((((((((((Salli))))))))) Ali xx mum to Lyndsey,7,(NT) and Andy,5,(ASD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 > Tonight was just awful. > > > I call my lawyer tomorrow. If I am not welcome in his apartment, I assure you all that he is not welcome in my house. > > Salli > > OMG Salli. Lou is a complete and utter prick. That's it. I'm getting the next flight over and I'll kick his scrawny ass for you. ((((((((((Salli))))))))) Ali xx mum to Lyndsey,7,(NT) and Andy,5,(ASD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 I talked with my lawyer's aide this morning (for an hour and a half!) She was very helpful and relayed a message to my lawyer who said simply, " Don't let him have the kids. " The aide pointed out that that was my legal right but might not help things. We spent that hour and a half discussing all the possible approaches; she said she was in favor of communication if at all possible and I must say I am too. But it is hard to communicate with Lou. Bolstered by the aide's ideas, I called Lou and told him that I objected to last night. I told him that I had been on the phone with my lawyer and that he had violated the visitation agreement. He tried to tell me that it had all been Robbie and Putter's idea; I told him that that was fine but I would like a phone call. I can be flexible. He said that he could not call because Putter wanted to use the computer. I tried to call and the phone just rang and rang; apparently he is online again and he has a dial up connection. I had asked Sophie why he did not answer the phone and she said it never rang which led me to believe that he had unplugged it or turned it off. Apparently Mr. Putt was just online which I can believe. BUT he could have made a quick phone call before letting Putter online. It does however look less sinister like that, and I can imagine Putter screaming, " NO! NO! Computer! Go away, Daddy! " Autistic tantrums are not pretty but the call could have been very brief and I would have got the point pretty easily. It remains my personal opinion that this was a planned bit of Salli Torture. But it might have been cluelessness. He tried to complain to me about taking the kids for Christmas to my parents' house. I said I was not going to discuss that and hung. He has a way of taking us so far off track that it is impossible to get to the original topic. The phone rang several times and I ignored it. Finally I heard his voice over the answering machine, " I just want to know if I should take the big boys for their work out? " Well, perhaps. So I picked up the phone and told him that Enrique was not feeling well enough but would go. Then he tried to return to the topic of Christmas and I hung up. He called again. I ignored it. Then I heard his voice saying something like, " Look, I guess you just want to be treated with some respect and to know what is going on. That's what I want to... " This sounded promising so I picked up. He apologized, and said that he would notifiy me as soon as possible in the future. I actually do believe him. Remember nothing like this has happened before in almost four years of separation. I think that this probably will not happen again. We were perfectly civil with each other when we hung up the last time. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 I talked with my lawyer's aide this morning (for an hour and a half!) She was very helpful and relayed a message to my lawyer who said simply, " Don't let him have the kids. " The aide pointed out that that was my legal right but might not help things. We spent that hour and a half discussing all the possible approaches; she said she was in favor of communication if at all possible and I must say I am too. But it is hard to communicate with Lou. Bolstered by the aide's ideas, I called Lou and told him that I objected to last night. I told him that I had been on the phone with my lawyer and that he had violated the visitation agreement. He tried to tell me that it had all been Robbie and Putter's idea; I told him that that was fine but I would like a phone call. I can be flexible. He said that he could not call because Putter wanted to use the computer. I tried to call and the phone just rang and rang; apparently he is online again and he has a dial up connection. I had asked Sophie why he did not answer the phone and she said it never rang which led me to believe that he had unplugged it or turned it off. Apparently Mr. Putt was just online which I can believe. BUT he could have made a quick phone call before letting Putter online. It does however look less sinister like that, and I can imagine Putter screaming, " NO! NO! Computer! Go away, Daddy! " Autistic tantrums are not pretty but the call could have been very brief and I would have got the point pretty easily. It remains my personal opinion that this was a planned bit of Salli Torture. But it might have been cluelessness. He tried to complain to me about taking the kids for Christmas to my parents' house. I said I was not going to discuss that and hung. He has a way of taking us so far off track that it is impossible to get to the original topic. The phone rang several times and I ignored it. Finally I heard his voice over the answering machine, " I just want to know if I should take the big boys for their work out? " Well, perhaps. So I picked up the phone and told him that Enrique was not feeling well enough but would go. Then he tried to return to the topic of Christmas and I hung up. He called again. I ignored it. Then I heard his voice saying something like, " Look, I guess you just want to be treated with some respect and to know what is going on. That's what I want to... " This sounded promising so I picked up. He apologized, and said that he would notifiy me as soon as possible in the future. I actually do believe him. Remember nothing like this has happened before in almost four years of separation. I think that this probably will not happen again. We were perfectly civil with each other when we hung up the last time. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Interesting how Lou became more conciliatory when you ignored him. Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Interesting how Lou became more conciliatory when you ignored him. Maggie ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Sounds like he realized his little manipulation game was about to backfire and decided to weasel back into good (or acceptable) graces. And I know you know him better than I do Salli, but if you give him an inch, he's gonna run a mile. He doesn't sound good for the kids or you, so maybe it's time to adhere to a more set and strict visitation schedule and just get him out of your life. Just because he's their father does not entitle him to maintain any power over you. He doesn't deserve any sympathy. IMO , who's thanking my LUCKY STARS I don't have to deal with that ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Sounds like he realized his little manipulation game was about to backfire and decided to weasel back into good (or acceptable) graces. And I know you know him better than I do Salli, but if you give him an inch, he's gonna run a mile. He doesn't sound good for the kids or you, so maybe it's time to adhere to a more set and strict visitation schedule and just get him out of your life. Just because he's their father does not entitle him to maintain any power over you. He doesn't deserve any sympathy. IMO , who's thanking my LUCKY STARS I don't have to deal with that ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Sounds like he realized his little manipulation game was about to backfire and decided to weasel back into good (or acceptable) graces. And I know you know him better than I do Salli, but if you give him an inch, he's gonna run a mile. He doesn't sound good for the kids or you, so maybe it's time to adhere to a more set and strict visitation schedule and just get him out of your life. Just because he's their father does not entitle him to maintain any power over you. He doesn't deserve any sympathy. IMO , who's thanking my LUCKY STARS I don't have to deal with that ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 maybe you should get a cell phone for the older kids? Give it to them anytime they go with Lou? Leigh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 >>>>>>>>>> > > OMG Salli. Lou is a complete and utter prick. That's > it. I'm getting > the next flight over and I'll kick his scrawny ass > for you. >>>>>>>>>>>> Can I come too? We can take turns gving him a good whuppin'. It's outrageous the way he treats you. I hope your lawyer can help. Hang in there hon. Tuna ===== mom to: , 8, ASD , 4, NT Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 >>>>>>>>>> > > OMG Salli. Lou is a complete and utter prick. That's > it. I'm getting > the next flight over and I'll kick his scrawny ass > for you. >>>>>>>>>>>> Can I come too? We can take turns gving him a good whuppin'. It's outrageous the way he treats you. I hope your lawyer can help. Hang in there hon. Tuna ===== mom to: , 8, ASD , 4, NT Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 >maybe it's time to adhere to a more set and strict > visitation schedule and just get him out of your life. I thought of suggesting that...but I wonder if Lou wouldn't use that as an excuse to himself to behave more abominably? Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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