My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on Autism

[Guest guest]

This broke my heart too. I am sorry I haven't read this yet, the night

we were chatting I cant imagine how hard it was for you. But you know

is the most wonderful twin that Zach can have. She'll help him a

lot you'll see.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

_____

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-----Mensaje original-----

De: weya

Enviado el: Martes, 06 de Mayo de 2003 04:26 p.m.

Para: Parenting_Autism

Asunto: My heartbreak -or- One Twin's Perspective on

Autism

I knew this would happen eventually, but I did not expect it to happen

at 2.75 years old. I have to tell the story of what happened yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, came over and took Jordan's hand in hers.

" Come wi' me Jor, " she told him. He yanked his hand from hers with a

whine of annoyance. She took his hand again. " Come wi' me Jor, " she

repeated. He tried to yank his hand away again, voicing his disapproval

a bit louder. insisted, repeating her instruction yet again.

This is the first time has ever tried to lead Jordan anywhere, and

I wanted this interaction to be successful. So I took Jordan's other

hand and said brightly, " Lets go with . " Jordan tried to balk ...

but two insistent females had him by the hands, resistance was futile.

led us to Jordan's therapy swing in the dining room and declared

she wanted to swing. I sat both of them in the net swing, back to back,

and pushed them for the longest while. Eventually the net swing

" folded " in half so they were sitting side by side with the net between

them, and both kids were smiling and enjoying the swinging and spinning.

Eventually, Jordan had enough, and hopped out of the swing and ran off.

still wanted to swing, so I continued to push her.

She looks at me with these huge sad eyes and says, " I want Jor to play

wi' me. "

My heart broke with those words. How do you explain to a 2.75 year old

that her twin brother is autistic? How do you explain that the autism

puts a hurdle/wall/canyon in the legendary twin bond?

To buy time, I repeat her words back to her as a question, " You want Jor

to play with you? " " Uh huh, " she nods yes.

How do I answer her in terms she can understand? I think a moment more.

" .... Jordan doesn't know how to play with you. " She looks at me

with those brown saucer eyes and I just feel like I need to give her

hope. " Maybe ... you can teach Jordan how to play with you? " She

thinks about this for a minute and then nods, " I teach Jor to play. "

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.75yo

- (NT) 2.75yo

[Guest guest]

> If Dakota is any indication she will be really good for him. I call Dakota

" built in therapy " . LOL

Georga,

I agree, is the best " therapy " we could give . She is so in

his face and never leaves him alone. I am sure he his going punch her in the

nose one day soon!! lol.

Jen