Re: What's a Prompt?

April 25, 2003

Ugh.

I have represented a handful of families at IEP meetings over the past few

months in which the husband insists on attending yet knows nothing about the

process. I have a policy where if I do not meet with BOTH parents at the same

time before the meeting I do not represent the child. Learned this the hard

way by dealing with a divorced couple last winter. Met with mother twice to

review records, and we were in total agreement of the child's present levels

of performance and anticipated instructional needs/goals. Father shows up at

meeting and undermined every inch of progress we made. It was hard at times

to tell whose side he was on.

Too many instances where the school IEP team realizes the contention going on

within the family and uses that to divide and conquer and wind up with less

services than the child deserves/needs.

I have another policy when both parents attend. I sit between them. When one

starts saying anything that could possibly hurt their child's case, I step on

their feet which is their signal to clam up, LOL!

-BJ in polis, MD

April 25, 2003

((((((((Salli)))))))) - I'm so sorry that an already stressful IEP meeting had

to be made more stressful for you. Grrrrrrrr...........Was his purpose just to

make you miserable??

Love, prayers and heart hugs,

Debbie (GA), Mom to Evan (4.5 y/o with ToF, RBBB, Autism Spectrum Disorder,

Asthma); (now a whole year old and HH and NT?); and my 3 angel babies

whom I will finally see when God says it's time!

9:1-3

============================================================

Date: 2003/04/25 Fri AM 10:36:50 EDT

To: parenting_autism >

Subject: What's a Prompt?

============================================================

April 25, 2003

> ((((((((Salli)))))))) - I'm so sorry that an already stressful IEP meeting

had to be made more stressful for you. Grrrrrrrr...........Was his purpose

just to make you miserable??

>

No, I really don't think he was thinking much of me at all. They were

leaving him out. Lou hates that.

Salli

April 25, 2003

Lou is definitely making points to be a good candidate for the award.

How did he find out about it?

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

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-----Mensaje original-----

De: bunnytiner

Enviado el: Viernes, 25 de Abril de 2003 09:37 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: What's a Prompt?

Was the question Lou asked at Robbie's IEP this morning.

Sigh.

I am sure he knows what a prompt is. He was just making trouble.

You see, I arrived five minutes early. And he arrived five minutes

late. They got started as soon as I was there, although I did mention

that Lou would be coming. The district wide representative probably has

a busy calendar and Robbie's IEP is very boring and issue-less. I was

actually afraid he would no longer qualify for the program as his speech

has improved enormously. However, at his conference in March, which Lou

did not attend because he was in jail, I expressed some language

concerns that I had. First, he is still pretty hard to understand when

he is speaking in long sentences and when he is upset. And, secondly,

he has receptive language gaps. They are fairly minor, but I am aware

of them as Putter has taught me to be very sensitive to such problems.

Kim, Robbie's teacher, agreed at the conference that she saw these gaps

sometimes too. Robbie's speech therapist, , was not so sure,

but she said that Robbie is in such a structured environment with his

speech therapy that he probably knows what is expected of him and such

gaps would not be very apparent.

So today at Robbie's IEP told me, looking at me, and not at

Lou, that she had done some testing on Robbie to try to pinpoint those

gaps. It was casual testing, not done for any formal assessment, but

just as a sort of baseline attempt to figure out what is going on.

Robbie's receptive language was 3.3 years and his expressive was 2.8; he

turned four in February so the gaps are definitely not my imagination,

although he has met 100% of his IEP goals from last year and he is doing

quite well.

Lou was already angry that we had started without him. He began

questioning closely about this testing. He asked to see the

test and then pointed out that she hadn't administered all of the

questions. Someone pointed out that once you found that he missed a

couple of the questions, there was not really a need to ask any more.

It was embarrassing to me and totally threw who actually at the

end of the IEP told Lou that she felt that he was unhappy that she had

administered this test. " Oh, no, " said Lou, " You just showed it to

Salli and not to me. I just wanted to make you understand that I was

interested. "

Not so much in Robbie, in my opinion, as in Lou and his RIGHTS!

Boo, hiss.

Then Kim passed out her goals for Robbie for next year. Lou was still

feeling confrontational apparently because he started grilling Kim on

her first goal for Robbie which was

o will respond to techer questions during group activities with 3

to 5 word sentences with verbal prompts.

" What, " asked Lou, former professor of English, " Is a verbal prompt? " I

am trying not to roll my eyes visibly here, but HONESTLY. He has an

autistic child who was in an ABA program for nearly three years and HE

DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A VERBAL PROMPT IS?

Geez.

Well, he did know, I am sure, but he pressed her and pressed her for

examples and illustrations. She was rather flustered (I imagine it felt

like an attack), but she answered his questions.

Then another goal:

o will recall 3 sequential events of a classroom activity or story

in correct order given visual and/or verbal prompts.

Now Lou needed to know what a visual prompt was. Take reading the kids

a story, for instance, what would be the visual prompts.

I am thinking to myself " Duh! " and so probably is Kim, but she is also

thrown by the possibility that Lou might actually mean something with

his questions. She can't really just say, " The pictures, you idiot! "

But she says that she would show them the pictures. " Well, " wonders

Lou, " Would you point to the pictures or would you also say what they

pictures were? " " Probably both, " I say. " But, " says Lou, through his

teeth, " I wasn't asking YOU! " Kim responds quietly that she would

probably both point and say.

A few more questions and Lou is satisified that his rights are being met

and that he is not left out.

Very uncomfortable meeting after he arrived and it was all completely

unnecessary.

Salli

April 25, 2003

Hmmm.

Maybe it's a GOOD thing that Matt has never attended an IEP meeting with me.

Sissi

April 25, 2003

Lou is definitely making points to be a good candidate for the award.

How did he find out about it?

Oh, he was invited. He does have a right to attend such things and if Lou

has a right to do something, well, then he must do it.

He seldom attended Teacher Conferences when he lived with us, and when he

was asked today if he wanted a copy of the IEP forms, he said he didn't

really need them. He'd made his point.

I doubt if he knows just how obnoxious he appeared.

Salli

April 25, 2003

A few more questions and Lou is satisified that his rights are

being met and that he is not left out.

>

> Very uncomfortable meeting after he arrived and it was all

completely unnecessary.

>

> Salli

(((Salli)))

geez...why do they have to be like that?

jenna's IEP is on May 12, and her dad has

decided (for the 1st time) that he needs to

be there too...ugh. And im pretty sure, this

is how its gonna go with us...I really hate

being embarrassed by him.

Like after the dental surgery was over, and

jenna was still in the bed and crying very hard

and the nurse was trying to calm her down, and

her dad " yelling " at the nurses..because she(the nurse)

was trying to explain to us how jenna is gonna

feel the next few hours and him yelling " I KNOW

HOW SHE IS GONNA FEEL...IM HER DAD...DONT TELL

ME HOW SHE " S GONNA FEEL " ...and on and on...im sure

you can imagine the rest. The nurse looked totally

stunned and embarrassed herself. I felt awful..

His yelling didn't help matters with how upset jenna

was to begin with...She gets more upset, cause he

is doing this. aaahhh!!!!And it didn't matter to him,

to see jenna so upset, he just had to make HIS point to

them...unreal. He finally picks jenna up and carries her

out (and they weren't actually done talking with ME) and

i just shook my head and patted the nurses shoulder, and

she just gave me a look as if to say " good luck with him " ...

why why why did he need to act like such an ass...

(and then on the way home which is almost a 2 hour drive..

jenna was very upset about her mouth being numb and cry

and bouncing around in the truck and HE just couldn't

handle it, and was yelling some more at her..actually stopped

the truck twice to yell even louder at her...AAAHHH!!)

i just couldn't wait to get home...she did so good, and

he just makes it all worse for her...ugh

My respite lady would have gone with me, but now she can't

drive me any longer, cause we had gotton into a car accident

on the way to a doctor appointment in feb,(snow storm, we

spun around 5 times and crashed into a pole..no one hurt, thank

goodness, but 4000.00 worth of damage to her brand new van)

so they won't

let her drive anymore, and my truck will not make such a

long drive...ugh again.(and no family where i live)

So anyways, sorry i got off track there, I understand your

situation so much...I wish my " ex " would just go away...

i have enough to worry about, and he just makes things more

difficult, you know?

nancy~

single mom to

joshua 15 (nt)

jenna 6 (autism,ocd)

rachelle 2 (nt)

April 25, 2003

Gee, I'm sorry Salli. I'm sure the last thing you need is Lou alienating

the people who are helping your children ... even if you divorce

them, you still can't make them *go away* entirely.

(SAHM in GA)

MSN elizabethloht@...

n 33, mo, no formal dx

Phoebe, 10 wks

What's a Prompt?

> Was the question Lou asked at Robbie's IEP this morning.

>

> Sigh.

>

> I am sure he knows what a prompt is. He was just making trouble.

>

> You see, I arrived five minutes early. And he arrived five minutes late.

They got started as soon as I was there, although I did mention that Lou

would be coming. The district wide representative probably has a busy

calendar and Robbie's IEP is very boring and issue-less. I was actually

afraid he would no longer qualify for the program as his speech has improved

enormously. However, at his conference in March, which Lou did not attend

because he was in jail, I expressed some language concerns that I had.

First, he is still pretty hard to understand when he is speaking in long

sentences and when he is upset. And, secondly, he has receptive language

gaps. They are fairly minor, but I am aware of them as Putter has taught me

to be very sensitive to such problems. Kim, Robbie's teacher, agreed at the

conference that she saw these gaps sometimes too. Robbie's speech

therapist, , was not so sure, but she said that Robbie is in such a

structured environment with his speech therapy that he probably knows what

is expected of him and such gaps would not be very apparent.

>

> So today at Robbie's IEP told me, looking at me, and not at Lou,

that she had done some testing on Robbie to try to pinpoint those gaps. It

was casual testing, not done for any formal assessment, but just as a sort

of baseline attempt to figure out what is going on. Robbie's receptive

language was 3.3 years and his expressive was 2.8; he turned four in

February so the gaps are definitely not my imagination, although he has met

100% of his IEP goals from last year and he is doing quite well.

>

> Lou was already angry that we had started without him. He began

questioning closely about this testing. He asked to see the test

and then pointed out that she hadn't administered all of the questions.

Someone pointed out that once you found that he missed a couple of the

questions, there was not really a need to ask any more. It was embarrassing

to me and totally threw who actually at the end of the IEP told Lou

that she felt that he was unhappy that she had administered this test. " Oh,

no, " said Lou, " You just showed it to Salli and not to me. I just wanted to

make you understand that I was interested. "

>

> Not so much in Robbie, in my opinion, as in Lou and his RIGHTS!

>

> Boo, hiss.

>

> Then Kim passed out her goals for Robbie for next year. Lou was still

feeling confrontational apparently because he started grilling Kim on her

first goal for Robbie which was

>

> o will respond to techer questions during group activities with 3 to

5 word sentences with verbal prompts.

>

> " What, " asked Lou, former professor of English, " Is a verbal prompt? " I

am trying not to roll my eyes visibly here, but HONESTLY. He has an

autistic child who was in an ABA program for nearly three years and HE

DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A VERBAL PROMPT IS?

>

> Geez.

>

> Well, he did know, I am sure, but he pressed her and pressed her for

examples and illustrations. She was rather flustered (I imagine it felt

like an attack), but she answered his questions.

>

> Then another goal:

>

> o will recall 3 sequential events of a classroom activity or story

in correct order given visual and/or verbal prompts.

>

> Now Lou needed to know what a visual prompt was. Take reading the kids a

story, for instance, what would be the visual prompts.

>

> I am thinking to myself " Duh! " and so probably is Kim, but she is also

thrown by the possibility that Lou might actually mean something with his

questions. She can't really just say, " The pictures, you idiot! " But she

says that she would show them the pictures. " Well, " wonders Lou, " Would you

point to the pictures or would you also say what they pictures were? "

" Probably both, " I say. " But, " says Lou, through his teeth, " I wasn't asking

YOU! " Kim responds quietly that she would probably both point and say.

>

> A few more questions and Lou is satisified that his rights are being met

and that he is not left out.

>

> Very uncomfortable meeting after he arrived and it was all completely

unnecessary.

>

> Salli

>

April 25, 2003