Re: Jo - Bernie

July 21, 2004

Thanks Bernie, I'm glad my post helped you a little. I know what you

mean about the parents pain in spite of not having children myself,

some days the pain in my parents eyes at seeing my pain is the worst

thing to cope with. My Mum gets very upset at times as she had to

fight so hard to even have me due to fertility problems, miscarriage

and very nearly lost me too....so it seems doubly unfair that my

parents miracle baby ended up a genetic mutant!

But I firmly believe that if I wasn't meant to be here, then I

would be! I don't have the life I or my parents expected or hoped

for me...but I do have a life and that's the important factor. I was

given the most precious gift ever possible and although I may not

have quite figured it out yet I truly believe I was put here for a

purpose too. I have had many of my joys, hopes and dreams taken away

from me in the past year but I still have the things I need to make

a difference in this world - I have a mind to learn, search and

create with, I have a mouth to educate and enquire with, I have arms

to hug people with and most importantly I have heart to love people

with. What more could any one person ever ask for?

Hang in there Bernie and know that in spite of all the pain,

suffering and frustration, I'm sure your daughter is just as

grateful for the wonderful gifts you have given her too.

Love and hugs....Jo

xxx

July 23, 2004

Jo: Actually your post helped me a great deal and I came away from the

computer that day almost lighthearted. It felt like a good portion of

the guilt melted away. You were able to help me see life through her

eyes, in so far as her having the precious gift of life rather than my

just seeing the discomfort she endures from low BP and being somewhat

isolated. I even see that my having to push her a certain amt. during

the school year enables her to experience life on the outside...so to

speak. I know that most in her school environment have absolutely no

perception of the effort she is making, just to exist in that

environment. She has to make all of the accommodations on her own when

her physical difficulties are not perceived at school, just as you

always have to be on the alert for possible injury or whatever during

your day and particularly during hospital stays.

I have a keen sense of what it was like to be sideswiped by your recent

passing out and cardiac episode.

Thanks much for providing the attitude shift.

Hang in there Jo.

Bernie