Re: Parents of older clubfoot babies (long)

November 29, 2004

(Also long, haha) With my older son I just told him matter of factly that his

feet were born crooked. On other occastions however I've had to expand that by

explaining a couple other thoughts....one is " God doesn't make junk " therefore

they were born crooked on purpose by God's design, and then as he got in to

school I went to to tell him that everyone has " something " ......maybe you see it

(like his feet) maybe you don't, so he's not feeling like a freak for having

" something " the other kids can see. I gave a few examples there. Due to

improper correction his feet are noticibly different.

As far as your kid taking his shoes off, I'd say it's time for some tough love.

He's probably not going to understand at this age what " more castings " REALLY

means, or what potential surgery might mean. He'll grasp it on the surface, but

as far as really understanding the depth of the problem, the length, the pain,

the cost, etc., it's all rather superficial to a kid. An hour to a child can

seem like a day. A day like a minute. There's no real concept of time here.

Also, when he's taking them off there is no immediate consequense like there

would be if say he touched a hot stove. So telling him more casts is kind of

vague. It's way out there in never-never land to a toddler. It probably means

absolutely nothing to him.

In short, the shoes are non-negotiable, like crossing a street with out an adult

- you just don't turn them loose in traffic for obvious reasons. You wouldn't

let him get away with playing with a can of poison, either. Doubtfully he has

any concept of what getting hit by a car means, or what swallowing Draino would

do to him, either, but you still don't negotiate those things in his life and

let him make the call. I see the shoes being just as non-negotiable and he

needs to realize that.

Good luck,

s.

Parents of older clubfoot " babies " (long)

Hi everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your holiday. Collin turned 3

in August and the DBB has been a constant battle, even before then.

He is just now asking me questions about it, why he has to wear it,

etc. I just wanted to ask you what you said to your child. I don't

want to say because if you don't wear it your looking at another

surgery, etc....

I need some 3 year old friendly advice. I showed him his feet and

how his right foot curls at the top like a " C " for collin (it would

be a backwards C but I was trying to think of a way to tell him, he

totally caught me off gaurd), and he said yeah my foot is like a

curly fry.... He does notice the difference, I told him he has to

wear his night night shoes to help make this foot straighter, I have

also told him if he keeps taking them off he will have to get more

casts. The problem with that is he doesn't seem to care that much,

enless I bring up that he can't take baths, or go swimming. (I take

him to swim classes once a week).

He takes off his shoes constantly. He can untie double nots, and

very recently has learned the buckles.... Last night I put them

back on twice, my husband did once, then about 4 am my husband was

up and saw that he had one off again and just took them off. It's

hard we both work full time, and Collin just takes them off he

doesn't tell us, so we only know if we see for our selves. We have

tried prizes, etc. I just don't know what else to do at this

point. Any advice would be kindly appreciated.

Michele

Collin's story at http://www.geocities.com/chele323232

November 29, 2004

S.,

He usually takes them off during the night, that's why I don't know

what to do, it is non-negotiable when we put them on, and we tell

him he can't take them off, etc. But I don't know what to do is

when we wake up during the night and he has them off (we put them

back on) but I do not wake him up I just put them back on and go

back to sleep. I feel like doing something about it the next

morning, time out, etc wouldn't work because its after the fact.

What would you suggest?

Michele

November 29, 2004

Hmmm, good question! LOL! What would I suggest???? I'll have to sit on that a

minute, Everett is being too whiney to concentrate at the moment but I bet

between all of us here on the board we can come up with some food for thought

anyway.

s.

----- S.,

He usually takes them off during the night, that's why I don't know

what to do, it is non-negotiable when we put them on, and we tell

him he can't take them off, etc. But I don't know what to do is

when we wake up during the night and he has them off (we put them

back on) but I do not wake him up I just put them back on and go

back to sleep. I feel like doing something about it the next

morning, time out, etc wouldn't work because its after the fact.

What would you suggest?

Michele

November 29, 2004

Duct tape perhaps??? HAHAHAHA! (This is said in jest!!!)

, mommy of:

Guinevere, on, Ava 8/4/04 right CF DBB 23/7

> Hmmm, good question! LOL! What would I suggest???? I'll have to

sit on that a minute, Everett is being too whiney to concentrate at

the moment but I bet between all of us here on the board we can come

up with some food for thought anyway.

> s.

>

> ----- S.,

>

> He usually takes them off during the night, that's why I don't

know

> what to do, it is non-negotiable when we put them on, and we tell

> him he can't take them off, etc. But I don't know what to do is

> when we wake up during the night and he has them off (we put them

> back on) but I do not wake him up I just put them back on and go

> back to sleep. I feel like doing something about it the next

> morning, time out, etc wouldn't work because its after the fact.

> What would you suggest?

>

> Michele

>

November 29, 2004

I was going to suggest duct tape too....but seriously! LOL! Owen

has been taking his shoes off in the last couple of days as well

although not during the night but sometime after he wakes up.

Problem is, I don't know what time he is waking up and doing it.

I've been thinking seriously about duct taping them after I've got

them all laced and buckled up. I'm not sure if he would figure out

how to get the duct tape off but it would certainly slow him down -

maybe enough for him to figure that it's just not worth it! LOL!

Daiga and Owen, 02/04/03

Unilateral LCF, FAB 14/24

> > Hmmm, good question! LOL! What would I suggest???? I'll have

to

> sit on that a minute, Everett is being too whiney to concentrate at

> the moment but I bet between all of us here on the board we can

come

> up with some food for thought anyway.

> > s.

> >

> > ----- S.,

> >

> > He usually takes them off during the night, that's why I don't

> know

> > what to do, it is non-negotiable when we put them on, and we tell

> > him he can't take them off, etc. But I don't know what to do is

> > when we wake up during the night and he has them off (we put them

> > back on) but I do not wake him up I just put them back on and go

> > back to sleep. I feel like doing something about it the next

> > morning, time out, etc wouldn't work because its after the fact.

> > What would you suggest?

> >

> > Michele

> >

November 29, 2004

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duct tape, I was thinking the exact same thing!

Hey, if it works, why not? In fact somehow duct tape became topic of

conversation at Thanksgiving dinner, '100,000,000,001 uses of Duct tape'.

With family involved, that can be very funny. Anyway, I guess I can add

this use to that number.

Shook

Retail Operations Manager/Baking Instructor

Vie de France Yamazaki, Inc.

2070 Chain Bridge Rd. Suite 500

Vienna, VA 22182

x374

fax

November 29, 2004

Michele,

Have you tried letting him " decorate " the shoes? Maybe you could buy

some stickers of characters that he really likes? If you're very

brave, you could also let him " color " the shoes with permanent

markers...though I'm thinking that you could just keep changing the

stickers every so often to make them more fun. He can decorate the

bar too if you don't have it covered.

Maybe if he can make the brace " customized " to his personal tastes,

he'll really like wearing it and showing it off? Sometimes they sell

character decorations for putting on the bottom lace too. You could

make an even bigger deal about the shoes by letting him decorate it

and then let him take a picture of his " masterpiece " . I don't often

let use a camera- so she thinks that's a really big deal.

Just an idea........I know some boys really aren't into stickers so

he may not give a hoot about decorating the shoes.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& (3-16-00)

left clubfoot

November 29, 2004

Actually my sister suggested Duct tape, but I figured if he can

undue double knots and buckles he would have it mastered in one

night. Maybe I will try it though. I am at the point where I know

he will be in them until at least August and have tried bribing and

rewarding, I've tried being mean and threatening. I just can not

figure out what works. I can buckle and tie tight and he still gets

out. I have tried letting him decorate his last pair with markers

and stickers. (My luck he would tell someone I'm duct taping his

feet and I would get child services called on me). I'll wait and

see if anyone can come up with other ideas, if not we may be the

first to try duct taping (or at least the first to admit it...ha ha)

Our next appoinment with Dr. Herzenberg is January 14, will anyone

else be there? Our appoinment is early 8:20 am

Michele

Collin's story at

http://www.geocities.com/chele323232

November 29, 2004

Hi Michele.

We have an appointment on January 14th too. I think our appointment is at

9:00. We will probably see you there!

Shook

Retail Operations Manager/Baking Instructor

Vie de France Yamazaki, Inc.

2070 Chain Bridge Rd. Suite 500

Vienna, VA 22182

x374

fax

November 29, 2004

--- In nosurgery4clubfoot , " Number23 "

wrote

It is so important to leave those shoes on and a 3 year old can

grasp that concept. Just like you have taught him so many other

things.......potty training, how to eat with a spoon, dressing. If

you feel he is not old enough to grasp the concept of WHY he needs

to leave them on .......he should be able to grasp the concept of

just because mommy says so! It really is for HIS own good and has

nothing to do with discipline. It is hard to say what would work

best though because you do not want to make the shoes seem like

punishment or to turn him against them even more! I think you

should try making a HUGE deal if he keeps them on all night. Tell

him that he will get a surprise each morning that mommy gets to

remove the shoes and give it while you are taking them off.

Hersheys kisses were always a hit with my kids for small

accomplishments.....much better than a sticker. Maybe a " big " party

or treat at the end of leaving them on for a certain number of days.

Do something special that he only gets for keepiing them

on......maybe let him buy some cool character socks or something

that he can only wear with his shoes. My first thought was ......to

explain if he doesn't keep them on for sleep he has to keep them on

for part of the day. That could really turn the shoes into the bad

guys though! My other thought would be that maybe they are really

bothering him.....getting too small, tangled in blankets since its

getting cold, or maybe the bar needs lengthening. If all else fails

I am sure you could tye some really huge knots in the laces that

couldn't possibley be undone. Tapeing the tied part of the laces

together would probably work too. Im sure you will find something

that works! Good luck tonight.

> Hmmm, good question! LOL! What would I suggest???? I'll have to

sit on that a minute, Everett is being too whiney to concentrate at

the moment but I bet between all of us here on the board we can come

up with some food for thought anyway.

> s.

>

> ----- S.,

>

> He usually takes them off during the night, that's why I don't

know

> what to do, it is non-negotiable when we put them on, and we tell

> him he can't take them off, etc. But I don't know what to do is

> when we wake up during the night and he has them off (we put them

> back on) but I do not wake him up I just put them back on and go

> back to sleep. I feel like doing something about it the next

> morning, time out, etc wouldn't work because its after the fact.

> What would you suggest?

>

> Michele

>

November 29, 2004

At 01:30 PM 11/29/2004, you wrote:

> My first thought was ......to

>explain if he doesn't keep them on for sleep he has to keep them on

>for part of the day. That could really turn the shoes into the bad

>guys though!

IMO - it's difficult to choose between this and other solutions because I'm

a huge fan of *natural consequences*. While it could make the shoes out to

be the bad thing it is also a natural consequence for taking them off at

night and he should learn that his actions have consequences and this is

*just what happens* if he takes them off at night. Point being, the shoes

need to be worn X hours per day. Well, if he takes them off at 3am and

misses out on 5 hours with the shoes on those hours must be made up at some

point during that day. Same as we do with the little ones. Or at least I

do... if I need to make up an hour or so I will put them on a little early

that night or leave them on longer in the am. If I had to make up many

hours she'd wear them in the middle of the day. I think perhaps, that

once he learns that the hours he needs to spend in the shoes is

non-negotiable and that he WILL wear them that many hours each day... that

he will choose the night time wear over day time wear. It's not going to

be pretty - and 3 is often just another extension of 2 lol... but 3 is old

enough to learn what natural consequences are and their value. I think the

best lessons my boys have learned are from their natural consequences (they

are 6 and 4 BTW).

Catch me when Darbi is 3 and doing the same thing... I hope I still have

such resolve!

Kori

November 29, 2004

This might be harsh, but I would suggest making him wear them during the day

on the days after he takes them off. Surely he will decide that it is better

to wear them at night. That way he also gets his time in as well as a

" punishment " and learns that the wear TIME is as non-negotiable as putting the

shoes

on. I don't have any experience with 3 year olds though...just a thought

Freeman

November 29, 2004

This might be harsh, but I would suggest making him wear them during the day

on the days after he takes them off. Surely he will decide that it is better

to wear them at night. That way he also gets his time in as well as a

" punishment " and learns that the wear TIME is as non-negotiable as putting the

shoes

on. I don't have any experience with 3 year olds though...just a thought

Freeman

November 29, 2004

I've been giving this thought today.....'course the thing I really want to say

is to spank his little fanny but also I know that's a very, very, VERY personal

choice among parents and it's also a pretty thoughtless pat answer to a real and

perplexing problem here. I have been trying to think of some way to cover the

shoes with something that would hopefully prevent them from coming off or if

nothing else, slow him down enought that either you catch him in the act or it

frustrates him enough he yells out (thus gets caught) or takes so much time and

trouble he ends up falling back asleep before he gets them off. The only thing

I've come up with so far (and this is sort of " out there " ) is this: maybe one

of those footed sleepers with the snap legs....I'm thinking put that on over

the shoes and snap up the legs around the bar so he can't get to the laces. OR

hey! This just popped in!!! - ...........what about a sleep sack for him?

Even a novice sewer could make something up, or hire it done, whatever - but

then you could safety-pin the zipper, pin the top opening somehow - so he can't

get it undone by himself, then he's stuck in the sack all night and he couldn't

get to his shoes.

s.

Re: Parents of older clubfoot " babies " (long)