Re: A non related parenting ???????

[Guest guest]

Hi, Chrystal

I think when he is acting up or being disrespectful to his mother or to others -

you can lovingly but firmly get his attention in front of his mother and say

something to the effect of...

" ______, You are hurting your mother's feelings by not saying Thanks You. She

works hard to take care of you and it's your job to be sweet to her. "

" ______, it's not nice to call your friend ugly names. He's your buddy and

buddy's can say silly things, but not hurt each other's feelings. "

Tell him hitting is not allowed and maybe say, " ______ - what are you going to

do when you hit your friend, and he decides he doesn't want to play with

you anymore? " (Hopefully he'll respond kindly, but if he acts like he doesn't

care or says so-what, tell him if the hitting happens again that play time is

over and leave) It may seem a little rude, but when he realizes that he doesn't

have his friend there anymore to play with and he's not in control - perhaps

he'll think twice about the next time. You could also let him know that you

don't allow to hit you and you won't allow him to hit . - There's no

need for you to feel guilty about anything you say about hitting because that is

your responsibility in protecting your son.

This way you are letting your friend know that your intentions are good and that

you care about them all and also drawing attention to the fact that his behavior

is noticable to others, so that maybe she'll be more aware. She's probably tired

and feels like she doesn't have control of him since she's around him so much.

Sometimes other people stepping in helps the child and the parent - when done in

a manner that expresses concern for everyone.

Best of luck!

My Two-Cents Worth,

Casey

A non related parenting ???????

For those of you with kids....How do you deal with good friends who just do

not discipline or effectively discipline their children?

Our good friends son is just out of control. Yesterday I went out with him(

4), his mom, and little brother(1.5) and . He never uses his manners and

kept calling names with variations of poop. I told him that was bathroom

talk and good people don't talk that way.Then he never says please or thank you

to his mother but if I do something his mother tells him to say please or thank

you to me.

We went to a play place and he threw his soda at his mother because he didn't

like what she said and he hit a few times for no reason.

He will scream at the top of his lungs and hit anyone.

And for those who wonder...yes he does have adhd.

Their other son is not this way. He is a good baby and they do discipline him

but not much cause he is a baby. He is learning some of big brothers tricks.

I really like these people but am tired of the dramatics from this kid

whenever we go out. Finally his mother said yesterday she can't make excuses

for his behavior anymore.....FINALLY!

I want to tell if he hits you hit him back harder but I know that's not

right...and if accidentally bumps him he goes crying like a big baby to

his mother. Its ridiculous.

I feel like this monster is going to ruin my friendship with his parents.

Chrystal

Wife to Jace - together 6 Years!

Happy Mommy to - 4 on January 28!

New Baby Swenson Due July 28, 2004!

Zookeeper for 2 big dogs and 5 cats who let me feed them!

[Guest guest]

In reply to your statement: " And for those who wonder...yes he does

have adhd "

My son has had ADHD since birth and has been diagnosed since the age

of 5. He has NEVER acted the way you described in your message! My

son has always used proper manners or was gently reminded of the

correct manners to use so we have never attributed poor manners to

ADHD. He has always said " please " and " thank you " (good old Barney

manners!!!).

It sounds as if your friends son need strict, enforceable and

consistent punishment for her son when he acts out like this, (good

old fashioned punishment appropriate for a 4 year old) otherwise, you

will just be banging your head against the wall. Hopefully, with age,

he will mature moreseo, although ADHD children tend to be less mature

than other children.

just my 2 cents!

Sheila

[Guest guest]

and what Casey said too!!

>

> I think when he is acting up or being disrespectful to his mother

or to others - you can lovingly but firmly get his attention in front

of his mother and say something to the effect of...

>

> " ______, You are hurting your mother's feelings by not saying

Thanks You. She works hard to take care of you and it's your job to

be sweet to her. "

>

> " ______, it's not nice to call your friend ugly names. He's your

buddy and buddy's can say silly things, but not hurt each other's

feelings. "

>

> Tell him hitting is not allowed and maybe say, " ______ - what are

you going to do when you hit your friend, and he decides he

doesn't want to play with you anymore? "