crash and burn/ advice requested

March 26, 2004

As most of you know This has been a long yr. for me. I have -

4 (bone marrow failure, mito, dysautonomia etc) and Molly-2.7 (food

senstivities to wheat, peanut, milk and egg, 2 yr. attitude going on

16) and Drew -13 (mild dysautonomic sx). I, myself have dysautonomia

(POTS, syncope, neuorpathy, immuno def,migraines, on and on). On top

of this I have been going through the divorce from ---- for 14

months.

I feel as though I have reached the end of my rope. I feel like I

have just crashed and burned. I have lost all energy and like I am

in a tunnel. I am exhausted but cannot sleep at night. I am a single

mom of these three wonderful kids. My mom does help but she is 64

and these are not her kids. Their dad just doesn't care for them

right and has numerous times put 's health at risk. He is not

allowed to take her out of the house, so he visits with her here at

my home 2 x wk (he was physically abusive to me during our marrige

so this is not fun for me to have him here)

I know when I complain I feel horrible. I know there are people

out there with more problems then mine. I don't like to complain, I

just don't know what to do. I just want to cry but I don't like to

feel sorry for myself. It gets you no where. I do not get a break

and as most of those with young children can relate to, I cannot

even go to the bathroom by myself. The phone rings off the hook

(therapists, durable medi. equip, doctors, lawyers etc).

I guess as I type this, I know there is no answer to my problem. I

love my children with every ounce of my being, I am just tired. I

just needed to vent. Thanks for being there for me to do this and

not judging me. I don't know what I would do without you all.

Thanks for letting me ramble! Dawn

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