A DIFFICULT SUBJECT...

[Guest guest]

But we all must come to terms with it sooner or later. It does not

matter what age we are, or how we have lived our life or our

beliefs. The bottom line is we all will face it a some point. And

we can do ourselves and our family that loves us, great service if we

are prepared when the time comes.

All of us are suffering from a serious disease that can easily take

our life away. Although many of us complain about the symptoms and

the " things " we have lost, but what ultimately concerns us is dying.

And not just dying from this dreadful disease, just dying period. No

one really wants to die. We would love to stay young, vibrant and

live forever. But such is not the case. If it wasn't

neurosarcoidosis it would be something else.

Sometimes we may ask ourselves why me? What have I done to desever

this horrible illness? And then I reflect on all the terminally sick

children in all the hospitals that have just begun their lives and

will not live to reach adult hood. And I ask myself why them?

Then Icome to realize that life isn't fair, hard, yes, fair, no. But

it is what we have and what we have been given. So, how do we

address this fear and ultimate situatio of death?

My only answer is to be prepared. What ever you faith or belief is

regarding death, persue it with all your heart and being because

death is truly final as we know it in this state of being. So, what

ever you decided about death, make sure you have researched it well

because your quality of life depends on it. What ever it is.

In preparation for death we tend to think of getting our business in

order. I know because I have been their and done that and still

constantly think of my plans. We often wonder about material things

like...

Will the insurance cover the mortgage for my spouse and children?

Who should be my beneficiaries?

How will all my friends be notified?

Will my pension and social security be enough to support my spouse?

You get my point. And this is good to have in place. But there is

something much more important than this. And this applies to

everyone, not just people with neurosarcoidosis. We will all die one

day and how we confront death or embrace death trully matters.

I don't mean to sound morbid, I am just speaking it like I see it. I

have thought about this for some time now. And before my illness I

was terrified of dying and thought somehow that God will spare me

from death. But you know and I know that that is not so. Everyone

will have to die one day. So prepare youself and get rid of your

fears and this will have a Major impact on how we handle our illness

and ultimatley how we handle our death.

Like I said in the subject line, " A DIFFICULT SUBJECT... " true, but

one that can be and needs to be dealt with appropriately.

Over the years of dealing with my illness and knowing that it can end

in my death. I have gone from being terrified to calm. When I was

first diagnosed and did a little research I was horrified. I thought

I was going to die soon if not immediately! Well, its been 11 years

since then and think of all the wasted time, energy and fear and

anxiety I have taken myself through simply because I was terrified of

dying.

Well, I am no longer terrified anymore. Concerned, yes, but not

terrified to the point where I was afraid of being alone or going to

sleep even. But sleep was my only escape and peace of mind. I

dreaded waking up in the morning and having to deal with my thoughts

of self pit, why me and when is it going to happen?

No longer. And that is because I have developed a peace of mind the

passing my own understanding. And you can do and develop the same

peace of mind and get rid of the fear that has consumed and plaqued

your entire being since discovering you have this dreadful disease.

Do you thing patients with cancer feel any different than we do? Do

you think patients with aids, or Lou Gherig Disease are scared any

less? Of course not. So prepare yourself. Death is a fact of

life. And how we deal with it determines our state of being. We all

must and will die one day. So prepare youself in the best way you

know how by doing a lot of soul searching and listening to yourself

during moments of quiet and aloneness. Then act and follow.

You will find a greater peace and an acceptance that you never had

before.

I don't want you to think that I am looking forward to death. Quite

the contrary. But I sure am glad that I am not the nervous wreck I

used to be when thinking of my demise.

I sincerely hope that this will help someone along the way. I pray

that you find your peace and no longer be fearful and troubled by

what is to come.

Your sincere brother,

God bless you and give you peace of mind and confidence in Him. Amen