Re: Re: / email to Rose

[Guest guest]

Kim thanks for saying what a lot of us felt Matt

--- Kim Pellett kimpellett@...> wrote:

> I apologize in advance if this offends anything, but

> message link pissed me off and I think it is BS.

>

> Kind people like Jeanne, should not have to

> apologize for showing concern for another member of

> a support group. , I don't know you and will

> not presume to know you. However, your constant

> negative responses to people taking their own time

> to offer you words of encouragement are upsetting.

> I understand you have been dealt a difficult hand,

> but here's a news flash. Everyone in this group has

> been dealt a difficult hand. The purpose of having

> a support group is to support. And quite frankly,

> it is absurd for a member to apologizing for doing

> just that - supporting.

>

> Kim Pellett

>

> GARY WOOLARD garyjwoolard@...> wrote:

> Jeanne,

> This last response that you written about going to

> shelters is something I knew about years ago. Mel

> Trotter Mission and Lighthouse Mission imediatelly

> south of downtown Grand Rapids are two missions in

> this area that I'am aware of. I knew this fact for

> years. No I'am not going to any mission just to get

> away from Kathy. That doesn't make NO SENSE AT ALL.

> Why should I TRY TO SLEEP in a place with 40, 60 men

> or whatever amount that alot of them SNORE, and alot

> of them are alcohoics & drug addicts? When I have to

> put up with JUST ONE PERSON THAT SNORES, NAMELY

> KATHY. In these type of places, a person goes to the

> restroom and then comes back to your bed/cot and you

> find your possesions stolen. Jeanne, Jeanne, Jeanne,

> I think you mean well in writing all about this, but

> you were just rehashing this line of thinking that

> others wrote about going back these about 20 months

> now that I've associated with this group. I'am not

> upset with you. But you wrote about this and this is

> nothing new to me.

> This suicidal thoughts that I HAVE HAD, were just

> that, thoughts. I don't have that now. But it was

> about 3 different times now in this 20 month period.

> I think you misunderstood me to think I have this on

> going now or have been constandly for months or even

> years. At times I've said I take on anyone's sarcoid

> or all on upon myself. Yes at times I said this was

> because of being depressed. But this last year if I

> said this was because of my way of showing LOVE to

> another person or persons collectively. JUST LIKE

> MARY S. WHEN SHE HAS " HUGS " PRINTED AT THE END OF

> HER E-MAIL, THIS IS HER WAY OF SHOWING THIS TOWARDS

> OTHERS.

>

> Bye,

>

>

> Jeanne Betters gabbysauntienini@...> wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> I don't know if you realize this, but you don't

> have to wait for disability income to change your

> life. There are places people can go when they are

> in unhappy, unhealthy homes and haven't anywhere

> else to go nor the wherewithal to take care of

> themselves: homeless shelters. Usually YMCA is a

> good place to start for direction - even if they

> can't help you, they will probably know who can.

> And shelters usually even like it when you work

> (it's usually mandatory to staying there), so you

> won't have to give up your route. You don't pay a

> dime to stay there, but rather just do some chores

> and follow their rules, play nice, stuff like that.

> Usually you will have anywhere from 30 - 90 days to

> stay, during which time they will work with you on

> getting the services and counseling you need to get

> on with your life (they'll even help you and Kathy

> if you want to try to make things better between

> you). No matter what, you don't have to get a

> divorce to remove yourself from a

> situation that is eating you up inside. You sound

> like you could really use a breather. There's no

> shame in going to a shelter - it's there to help you

> weather the storm. Sick or well, stress like what

> you describe will kill you before any disease will.

> You have nothing to lose by going there for a while.

>

> I guess at some point or other everyone has had a

> suicidal thought. I'm glad in your case it's just a

> thought. But please try to understand: you can't

> pour out your misery and expect caring people, who

> are also suffering, to turn away and ignore your

> pain. You can't talk about having suicidal thoughts

> and expect people to ignore you. Your words were

> very upsetting to me, and I reacted to them in the

> best way I knew how. I've lost a handful of people

> in my life to suicide, and I've learned to believe

> the signs and not ignore them; not take them for

> granted. By " just putting it out there " -even if

> you mean to do nothing but blow off steam - you're

> going to evoke a reaction, . I truly am sorry

> if my reaction offended you; but you frightened me.

> I didn't mean to offend at all, and I'll do my best

> not to let that happen again. I guess I just don't

> understand why anyone would share something like

> that or anything else about themselves if they

> didn't want people to

> care. Reaching out is a good thing. It's kind of

> like being at the end of your rope and tying a knot.

>

>

> I totally understand that you don't need any more

> pressure - not from your Dad (who is wrong - this

> disease is most definitely not all in your head),

> not from anyone, including me. You most certainly

> don't owe me any caring or concern or a reason to

> press on. I would not have said anything remotely

> like that had I realized how my words would have

> been received. I shouldn't have put that kind of

> pressure on you, and most certainly didn't mean to.

>

> You're right, I don't know you. 'Sorry for jumping

> in like that. I get the message. I'll back off.

>

> Peace,

>

> Jeannie

>

>

>

>

>

>

> GARY WOOLARD garyjwoolard@...> wrote:

> Jeanne,

>

> Basically Jeanne your lenghtly reply is nothing

> new to me. I read before of replys of what you have

> written from Joan, Rose, that I do remember and

> perhaps from when she was writing into this

> thing here. Either you just don't understand what I

> had written since you've been with this group or

> just don't know the facts. IN DAYS, KATHY AND MYSELF

> WILL HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 29 YEARS. Reba our

> daughter is not a child no more for years. She

> turned 28 years old herself as of this past

> February. Yet like days like today, working on these

> paperoutes in Kentwood with at times the rain was

> raining hard with gusts of wind to about 45 m.p.h.

> and putting up with this Kathy and she putting up

> with me, no wonder I have said & thought the things

> in the past. IT'S LIKE GETTING THE OTHER SIDE OF THE

> UNIVERSE IS NOT FAR AWAY FROM KATHY. GOING BACK IN

> TIME SO THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS TAKE PLACE

> DIFFERENTLY BEFORE GOD CREATED HIMSELF IS NOT FAR

> ENOUGH TO GO BACK IN TIME TO HAVE THIS DONE.

> THERE I SAID IT. THIS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. It's only

> has been in the HUNDREDS OF TIMES that I have wished

> that this Sarcoidosis get REAL BAD then I could

> collect disability income. Then I could move out of

> this apartment, get my own apartment & live by

> myself, take care of having a divorce, move out of

> this state FOR GOOD, and then NEVER EVER telephone,

> write, e-mail the rest of my family PERIOD FOR AS

> LONG AS I LIVE. NO MORE CRAP, BULL BLANKETY STUFF

> FROM ANY OF MY FAMILY AGAIN. NO MORE HEARING FROM MY

> DAD THAT ALL THIS HEALTH STUFF THAT I HAVE SAID TO

> HIM " IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD, GARY " .

>

> These suicidal thoughts were JUST THAT, THOUGHTS

> that I have had those 3 different time periods

> dating back to August, 2004. Jeannie, like I've said

> before in this group before you, Connie, ,

> Terri, Janet, Ruth, and Dot the ones I can think of

> that joined this group; having the worst of this

> Sarcoidosis, cancer, or unrelated heart attack is NO

> BIG DEAL TO ME. Do I feel/think this way 24 hours a

> day 7 days a week, week after week, no I don't. In a

> intermitten way like symptoms of sarcoid arthristis

> in my left foot and lower leg today. Stays for

> awhile and go away for various amounts of intensity

> & duration.

>

> As far as getting a divorce I have NO SOURCE OF

> MONEY, LEGAL (savings, stocks, bonds, etc.) or

> ILLEGAL (selling illegal drugs). All my so call

> possesions is only around $200 to $400 in worth. No

> money for a divorce, to live on, pay my personal

> bills, recretation, etc. You CAN'T GIVE ME A REASON

> TO CONTINUE TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY AT TIMES. BUT I CAN,

> I CAN GIVE YOU AND EVERONE ELSE A REASON TO PRESS ON

> AND TO DESIRE TO LIVE. I think there is a

> difference. The reason I can give you that I

> continue to live, IS TO GIVE CONSOLING THOUGHTS,

> HUMOR, AND CARE ATTITUDE TO OTHERS IN THIS GROUP. If

> I sound like contracdictorary it is because I'am

> just have NO SELF WORTH at times.

>

> Enough of rambling on here today.

>

>

>

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