RE: Uncomfortable Encounter

[Guest guest]

Oh Debbie, I am so sorry that you had to run into a competitive bitch. Why else would she ask you so many personal questions and then raise herself up 'in her eyes'...just to 'try' to run you down. Debbie, it does not matter one iota what that woman thinks of you. WE LOVE YOU and know what a remarkable woman you are. Next time you run into a CB...ask her WHY she wants to know. You are a worthy person just cuz the 'universe/God' put you into existence...not for what you do but for who you are. She must be threatened by other women just to act that way. I can't be around people like that...cuz you always have to be 'doing...'. Why is it that things like that happen when you least expect it though....lol. have a great day hugs S.Debbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt

like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick

or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Oh Debbie, I am so sorry that you had to run into a competitive bitch. Why else would she ask you so many personal questions and then raise herself up 'in her eyes'...just to 'try' to run you down. Debbie, it does not matter one iota what that woman thinks of you. WE LOVE YOU and know what a remarkable woman you are. Next time you run into a CB...ask her WHY she wants to know. You are a worthy person just cuz the 'universe/God' put you into existence...not for what you do but for who you are. She must be threatened by other women just to act that way. I can't be around people like that...cuz you always have to be 'doing...'. Why is it that things like that happen when you least expect it though....lol. have a great day hugs S.Debbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt

like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick

or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Oh Debbie, I am so sorry that you had to run into a competitive bitch. Why else would she ask you so many personal questions and then raise herself up 'in her eyes'...just to 'try' to run you down. Debbie, it does not matter one iota what that woman thinks of you. WE LOVE YOU and know what a remarkable woman you are. Next time you run into a CB...ask her WHY she wants to know. You are a worthy person just cuz the 'universe/God' put you into existence...not for what you do but for who you are. She must be threatened by other women just to act that way. I can't be around people like that...cuz you always have to be 'doing...'. Why is it that things like that happen when you least expect it though....lol. have a great day hugs S.Debbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt

like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick

or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie! How awful! Don't let this goofball bother you. When I left a very VERY good job to stay home with my son after he was born, I got the same treatment from some so-called friends and co-workers. Here's the thing - whether you are ill or healthy, you are always going to run into goofey people whose identities are so wrapped up in their jobs and careers that they can't see life for what it really is- it's not your illness. And you don't owe ANYBODY any explanations!!! Maybe next time you can respond with something like, "I'm so happy you've found your niche in the world. For me, my true joy lies in my family and our home." You should NEVER feel belittled about what ANYONE thinks of you!! Whether you made the choice to stay home OR had it pushed upon you, I am willing to bet my home on the fact that you do everything you can to make life good for everyone around you! You

know why? Because you make life good for us! Which is more important, my friend? Making a difference in a job or making a difference in the lives of others? Girlfriend, you make a HUGE difference - to us! Nobody else in this entire world can rise in the morning and make the sun shine through the rain with just a little word of encouragement, a wink of an eye, a giggle, and a loving email hug like you can. So just remember - when goofey people try to belittle you... They can't make a rainbow... But you can! And that is all I have to say about that! Lots of love and many hugs, JeannieDebbie wrote: I was working

at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company

myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a

position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie! How awful! Don't let this goofball bother you. When I left a very VERY good job to stay home with my son after he was born, I got the same treatment from some so-called friends and co-workers. Here's the thing - whether you are ill or healthy, you are always going to run into goofey people whose identities are so wrapped up in their jobs and careers that they can't see life for what it really is- it's not your illness. And you don't owe ANYBODY any explanations!!! Maybe next time you can respond with something like, "I'm so happy you've found your niche in the world. For me, my true joy lies in my family and our home." You should NEVER feel belittled about what ANYONE thinks of you!! Whether you made the choice to stay home OR had it pushed upon you, I am willing to bet my home on the fact that you do everything you can to make life good for everyone around you! You

know why? Because you make life good for us! Which is more important, my friend? Making a difference in a job or making a difference in the lives of others? Girlfriend, you make a HUGE difference - to us! Nobody else in this entire world can rise in the morning and make the sun shine through the rain with just a little word of encouragement, a wink of an eye, a giggle, and a loving email hug like you can. So just remember - when goofey people try to belittle you... They can't make a rainbow... But you can! And that is all I have to say about that! Lots of love and many hugs, JeannieDebbie wrote: I was working

at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company

myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a

position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I would like to second everything

just said, she said it very well. There are so many ME people in

this world it’s sick. You should be proud of each everything you

did and still do, raising a family these days in itself is big, so you just pat

yourself on your back, and forget everything little ms. Me had to say. No

one, truly No one understand what we have all been through and are, and

will continue to go through. Raise your head high!

Blessings to you,

Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis

[mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of Solberg

Sent: Sunday, June 04, 2006 9:21 AM

To: Neurosarcoidosis

Subject: Re: Uncomfortable Encounter

Oh

Debbie, I am so sorry that you had to run into a competitive bitch.

Why else would she ask you so many personal questions and then raise herself up

'in her eyes'...just to 'try' to run you down. Debbie, it does not

matter one iota what that woman thinks of you. WE LOVE YOU and know what

a remarkable woman you are. Next time you run into a CB...ask her WHY she

wants to know. You are a worthy person just cuz the 'universe/God' put

you into existence...not for what you do but for who you are. She must be

threatened by other women just to act that way. I can't be around people

like that...cuz you always have to be 'doing...'. Why is it that things

like that happen when you least expect it though....lol. have a

great day hugs S.

Debbie

wrote:

I was working at the library yesterday. And

boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite

often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her

to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal

questions and got around to " So what do you do besides work here for a few

hours a week? " I was quite taken by her question and felt like it

was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to

tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just

stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her

eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15.

SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one

company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all.

I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to

41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and

had to stop.

Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me

feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me

feel like a dumb little kid.

Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big

identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was

a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to

accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It

took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for

depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still

self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started

volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they

were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out)

.. Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a

purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to

use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a

few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I

didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me.

Yes, there are days when I

don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and

feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and

I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression.

Well, I think I have rambled on long

enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting

everything out and that woman can't bother me again!

LOL, HUGS,

Debbie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I would like to second everything

just said, she said it very well. There are so many ME people in

this world it’s sick. You should be proud of each everything you

did and still do, raising a family these days in itself is big, so you just pat

yourself on your back, and forget everything little ms. Me had to say. No

one, truly No one understand what we have all been through and are, and

will continue to go through. Raise your head high!

Blessings to you,

Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis

[mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of Solberg

Sent: Sunday, June 04, 2006 9:21 AM

To: Neurosarcoidosis

Subject: Re: Uncomfortable Encounter

Oh

Debbie, I am so sorry that you had to run into a competitive bitch.

Why else would she ask you so many personal questions and then raise herself up

'in her eyes'...just to 'try' to run you down. Debbie, it does not

matter one iota what that woman thinks of you. WE LOVE YOU and know what

a remarkable woman you are. Next time you run into a CB...ask her WHY she

wants to know. You are a worthy person just cuz the 'universe/God' put

you into existence...not for what you do but for who you are. She must be

threatened by other women just to act that way. I can't be around people

like that...cuz you always have to be 'doing...'. Why is it that things

like that happen when you least expect it though....lol. have a

great day hugs S.

Debbie

wrote:

I was working at the library yesterday. And

boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite

often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her

to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal

questions and got around to " So what do you do besides work here for a few

hours a week? " I was quite taken by her question and felt like it

was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to

tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just

stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her

eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15.

SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one

company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all.

I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to

41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and

had to stop.

Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me

feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me

feel like a dumb little kid.

Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big

identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was

a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to

accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It

took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for

depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still

self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started

volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they

were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out)

.. Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a

purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to

use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a

few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I

didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me.

Yes, there are days when I

don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and

feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and

I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression.

Well, I think I have rambled on long

enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting

everything out and that woman can't bother me again!

LOL, HUGS,

Debbie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie, I have probably told this story before, but for the newbies & the memory-challenged, I'll repeat it.

My older daughter, Theresa, has struggled with low self-esteem all of her life, beginning with rejection & neglect from her birth mother. She married at 18, a jerk who constantly put her down & was never satisfied with anything she did. She finally left him, then got involved with another jerk. She tried really hard to make that work. We talked about her life compared to a house. I told her that with her early life, she didn't have a good strong foundation. Then (husband) came along & instead of helping to strengthen the foundation, he just covered it up with a rug, so that it looked better for awhile, until his real self came out & started critizing the rug & everything else. When she left , she started building some walls (boundaries) to protect herself, brick by brick. Then along came Rick. At first he seemed okay, then the same thing started. After a couple of years and a baby (), during which he was cheating on her, she called me one day & said that she and Rick had had a fight & she told him that he was NOT going to tear her bricks down! Of course, he didn't know what she was talking about & thought she was just nuts. But I was proud of her & told her it didn't matter if her understood; I knew how important that was.

Debbie, the point of this story (and yes, I do have a point; credit to Ellen Degeneres) is that you don't have to let people like the woman in the library tear your bricks down--not even ONE brick! If you let your guard down, like in this incident, then pick up that brick, grab a trowel full of concrete, & put that sucker back in place! We understand how important those boundaries are.

Love from your ramblin' bricklayer,

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

Reply-To: Neurosarcoidosis To: neurosarcoidosis Subject: Uncomfortable EncounterDate: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 07:06:08 -0700 (PDT) I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me again! LOL, HUGS, Debbie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie, I have probably told this story before, but for the newbies & the memory-challenged, I'll repeat it.

My older daughter, Theresa, has struggled with low self-esteem all of her life, beginning with rejection & neglect from her birth mother. She married at 18, a jerk who constantly put her down & was never satisfied with anything she did. She finally left him, then got involved with another jerk. She tried really hard to make that work. We talked about her life compared to a house. I told her that with her early life, she didn't have a good strong foundation. Then (husband) came along & instead of helping to strengthen the foundation, he just covered it up with a rug, so that it looked better for awhile, until his real self came out & started critizing the rug & everything else. When she left , she started building some walls (boundaries) to protect herself, brick by brick. Then along came Rick. At first he seemed okay, then the same thing started. After a couple of years and a baby (), during which he was cheating on her, she called me one day & said that she and Rick had had a fight & she told him that he was NOT going to tear her bricks down! Of course, he didn't know what she was talking about & thought she was just nuts. But I was proud of her & told her it didn't matter if her understood; I knew how important that was.

Debbie, the point of this story (and yes, I do have a point; credit to Ellen Degeneres) is that you don't have to let people like the woman in the library tear your bricks down--not even ONE brick! If you let your guard down, like in this incident, then pick up that brick, grab a trowel full of concrete, & put that sucker back in place! We understand how important those boundaries are.

Love from your ramblin' bricklayer,

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

Reply-To: Neurosarcoidosis To: neurosarcoidosis Subject: Uncomfortable EncounterDate: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 07:06:08 -0700 (PDT) I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me again! LOL, HUGS, Debbie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Debbie, I have probably told this story before, but for the newbies & the memory-challenged, I'll repeat it.

My older daughter, Theresa, has struggled with low self-esteem all of her life, beginning with rejection & neglect from her birth mother. She married at 18, a jerk who constantly put her down & was never satisfied with anything she did. She finally left him, then got involved with another jerk. She tried really hard to make that work. We talked about her life compared to a house. I told her that with her early life, she didn't have a good strong foundation. Then (husband) came along & instead of helping to strengthen the foundation, he just covered it up with a rug, so that it looked better for awhile, until his real self came out & started critizing the rug & everything else. When she left , she started building some walls (boundaries) to protect herself, brick by brick. Then along came Rick. At first he seemed okay, then the same thing started. After a couple of years and a baby (), during which he was cheating on her, she called me one day & said that she and Rick had had a fight & she told him that he was NOT going to tear her bricks down! Of course, he didn't know what she was talking about & thought she was just nuts. But I was proud of her & told her it didn't matter if her understood; I knew how important that was.

Debbie, the point of this story (and yes, I do have a point; credit to Ellen Degeneres) is that you don't have to let people like the woman in the library tear your bricks down--not even ONE brick! If you let your guard down, like in this incident, then pick up that brick, grab a trowel full of concrete, & put that sucker back in place! We understand how important those boundaries are.

Love from your ramblin' bricklayer,

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

Reply-To: Neurosarcoidosis To: neurosarcoidosis Subject: Uncomfortable EncounterDate: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 07:06:08 -0700 (PDT) I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me again! LOL, HUGS, Debbie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>

> I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a

bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often.

One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we

were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and

got around to " So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a

week? " I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none

of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to

tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I

just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of

rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older

21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full

time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it

built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and

telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years

for one company myself. But then I became ill and had

> to stop.

> Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me

feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me

feel like a dumb little kid.

> Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big

identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill,

well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It

took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life

when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and

therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me

realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left

inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the

library and then actually filling in for people when they were out

sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were

out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have,

it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the

house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks.

It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear

me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a

> perfect fit for me.

> Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go

in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for

awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has

helped to keep me out of depression.

> Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for

listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that

woman can't bother me again!

>

LOL, HUGS,

>

Debbie

>

> Don't put yourself down and don't let someone who is a jerk make

you feel bad. First, what you do away from the library is none of

her business. You don't have to explain your life or your illness

to her. She was just plain rude. Give yourself a big pat on the

back for all that you do. It was in very poor taste for her to be

so rude to someone she just met, and to roll her eyes. Sounds like

her ego got in the way of good manners (assuming she has any).

Bonnie

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

My heavens, but I'd like to slap her right in the back of the head "Gibb's style". Grief, I can't stand ignorant, uncaring, egotistical, ninkimpoops that go around giving good people a piece of something they don't have (a mind); it makes me mad enough to spit. My mother has a wonderful answer to this sort of situation, and it catches the witless wonder off guard. When someone asked her a totally stupid or unkind question, she looks them straight in the eye and in an incredulous tone of voice asks "Why would you ask something like that?", and then looks at them like they have lost their mind. They will crawfish like you have never seen. The one I love goes something like this, "Look, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed enemy, it just isn't fair", and then go back to my business. I am so sorry Debbie, please don't let the ramblings of

an evil heart get you down. She's to be pitied, there are lots of people that love and care about you, if this is the way she treats other people I can assure you she has very few if anyone that cares about her. Ouhhh! this is one of those situations where I know I should pray for her, but right now I'd rather slap her. (I hate for people to deliberately hurt other people......can ya tell) Hugs and good thoughts your way Debbie////ConnieDebbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal

questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid.

Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out .

If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My heavens, but I'd like to slap her right in the back of the head "Gibb's style". Grief, I can't stand ignorant, uncaring, egotistical, ninkimpoops that go around giving good people a piece of something they don't have (a mind); it makes me mad enough to spit. My mother has a wonderful answer to this sort of situation, and it catches the witless wonder off guard. When someone asked her a totally stupid or unkind question, she looks them straight in the eye and in an incredulous tone of voice asks "Why would you ask something like that?", and then looks at them like they have lost their mind. They will crawfish like you have never seen. The one I love goes something like this, "Look, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed enemy, it just isn't fair", and then go back to my business. I am so sorry Debbie, please don't let the ramblings of

an evil heart get you down. She's to be pitied, there are lots of people that love and care about you, if this is the way she treats other people I can assure you she has very few if anyone that cares about her. Ouhhh! this is one of those situations where I know I should pray for her, but right now I'd rather slap her. (I hate for people to deliberately hurt other people......can ya tell) Hugs and good thoughts your way Debbie////ConnieDebbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal

questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid.

Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out .

If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My heavens, but I'd like to slap her right in the back of the head "Gibb's style". Grief, I can't stand ignorant, uncaring, egotistical, ninkimpoops that go around giving good people a piece of something they don't have (a mind); it makes me mad enough to spit. My mother has a wonderful answer to this sort of situation, and it catches the witless wonder off guard. When someone asked her a totally stupid or unkind question, she looks them straight in the eye and in an incredulous tone of voice asks "Why would you ask something like that?", and then looks at them like they have lost their mind. They will crawfish like you have never seen. The one I love goes something like this, "Look, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed enemy, it just isn't fair", and then go back to my business. I am so sorry Debbie, please don't let the ramblings of

an evil heart get you down. She's to be pitied, there are lots of people that love and care about you, if this is the way she treats other people I can assure you she has very few if anyone that cares about her. Ouhhh! this is one of those situations where I know I should pray for her, but right now I'd rather slap her. (I hate for people to deliberately hurt other people......can ya tell) Hugs and good thoughts your way Debbie////ConnieDebbie wrote: I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal

questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid.

Maybe the oldies in the group here remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out .

If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me

again! LOL, HUGS,

Debbie __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks Rose, for your "bricklaying" reinforcement story . I understand what you mean. I have to learn to have a stronger backbone and not let these things bother me so much, I guess. Thanks everyone else for their support too. I really appreciate it. I love this group. And am so glad I have found it 3 years ago. You have been here for me always. Love, DebbieRose wrote: Debbie, I have probably told this story before, but for the newbies & the memory-challenged, I'll repeat it. My older daughter, Theresa, has struggled with low self-esteem all of her life, beginning with rejection & neglect from her birth mother. She married at 18, a jerk who constantly put

her down & was never satisfied with anything she did. She finally left him, then got involved with another jerk. She tried really hard to make that work. We talked about her life compared to a house. I told her that with her early life, she didn't have a good strong foundation. Then (husband) came along & instead of helping to strengthen the foundation, he just covered it up with a rug, so that it looked better for awhile, until his real self came out & started critizing the rug & everything else. When she left , she started building some walls (boundaries) to protect herself, brick by brick. Then along came Rick. At first he seemed okay, then the same thing started. After a couple of years and a baby (), during which he was cheating on her, she called me one day & said that she and Rick had had a fight & she told him that he was NOT going to tear her bricks

down! Of course, he didn't know what she was talking about & thought she was just nuts. But I was proud of her & told her it didn't matter if her understood; I knew how important that was. Debbie, the point of this story (and yes, I do have a point; credit to Ellen Degeneres) is that you don't have to let people like the woman in the library tear your bricks down--not even ONE brick! If you let your guard down, like in this incident, then pick up that brick, grab a trowel full of concrete, & put that sucker back in place! We understand how important those boundaries are. Love from your ramblin' bricklayer, Ramblin' Rose Moderator Reply-To: Neurosarcoidosis To: neurosarcoidosis Subject: Uncomfortable EncounterDate: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 07:06:08 -0700 (PDT) I was working at the library yesterday. And boy, did I have a bad experience with a library patron that comes in quite often. One of the other library personnel introduced to her to me and we were talking. She then started asking some personal questions and got around to "So what do you do besides work here

for a few hours a week?" I was quite taken by her question and felt like it was none of her business to answer. I did not feel like I should have to tell her of my illness of sarcoidosis and all. So I said well, I just stay home and take care of the family. She then just kind of rolled her eyes because I had already told her my kids were older 21, 18 & 15. SO then she goes on to brag about how she worked full time for 40 years for one company , blah, blah ,blah, and how it built up her self confidence and all. I felt like butting in and telling her that I had worked from age 18 to 41 , 17 of those years for one company myself. But then I became ill and had to stop. Maybe I am just too sensitive , but the whole scenario made me feel so low and unworthy. I couldn't wait to go home . She made me feel like a dumb little kid. Maybe the oldies in the group here

remember what a big identity crisis I had when I lost my job when I first became ill, well this was a big reminder like a big kick in the stomach. It took me a long time to accept the changes I had to face in my life when I became ill with sarcoid. It took a lot of counseling and therapy and even a stay in the hospital for depression to make me realize that my life wasn't over. There was still self-worth left inside of me. Then 2 years later I started volunteering at the library and then actually filling in for people when they were out sick or out on vacation (then I actually made $$! when they were out) . Although it wasn't as complex a position as I used to have, it gave me back a purpose in life . A reason to get out of the house to be with people , to use my brain and perform simple tasks. It was just a couple of hours a few days a week that wouldn't wear me out . If I didn't feel well , I didn't have to go in. It was a

perfect fit for me. Yes, there are days when I don't feel well and can't go in. There also times when I come home and feel like just laying for awhile . But the good days outweigh the bad and I believe this has helped to keep me out of depression. Well, I think I have rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening. I feel better now just getting everything out and that woman can't bother me again! LOL, HUGS, Debbie __________________________________________________