Re: Keeping things to yourself

[Guest guest]

I try not to look back at that person very much because it bums me out. I went 90 miles an hour with my hair on fire, slept a couple of hours and was at it again. I miss the Connie I used to know, and i hate watching her disappear. Maybe I should not have written this paragraph, I honestly don't want to bum anyone else out. Sometimes that is why I keep things to myself.

Connie,

For years, and even now- I keep "stuff" to myself. I grew up with the saying "If you're going to cry, go to your room!" or "I'll give you something real to cry about!"

No one came and held me, asked about what was wrong- or listened if I tried to tell them. so I learned not to share my "hurts."

I've finally learned to cry- after keeping it bottled up for way to many years, but to open up and say "I'm hurting" or "I need your help" is still very elusive.

I know that when we do this- we cheat ourself, and we cheat our loved ones-- because they do want to help- and don't know how, or in my case, know that if they don't butt in- I'll do it myself.

Connie, you're in a place now-- this group, where we can share what's up. Will we "bum" someone else out? Maybe, but then again- when we open up and share what is happening, our feelings, fears, joys and sorrows- we give others the opportunity to talk about things they would not normally do.

None of us need to apologize for bringing up a subject that is important to us. We do need to be respectful of each other, but that means that we honor what another person is going through. If it's on our minds, one of the other 400+ members is probably thinking about the same issue. They too, don't want to step out and say anything- but we really need to.

We all know that when we hold stuff inside, it sends all the complex signals and chemicals and physical responses- and that since our body doesn't know when the emergency is over (or the stressful situation) that it can shut down, and stop "protecting" us.

So, be kind to yourself, and know that it's ok to speak up- at least in this forum.

Hugs,

Tracie

NS co-owner/moderator