To Cammie -- Re: Surgical Hooks and Wires - Less Confused - More Emotional

[Guest guest]

Cammie, I welcome your opinion and appreciate your support. I don't

take it as criticism.

I have always struggled with my husband who is very controlling. For

example, my insurance would've allowed me to stay in the hospital for

up to 5 days after our son was born C-section after 30+ hours of labor

(Dec 11, 1999 @ 2am), but my husband had me come home about 30 hours

later (with staples) because he missed me (and ) and the hospital

was 20 miles from our house. The nurse wrote " husband has control

issues " in my medical chart.

My husband is an advertising consultant but he thinks he knows

everything, even more than my OS and ortho. It is embarrassing when

he argues with the doctors (and our marriage/family counselors). I

ask myself " why do I allow him to attend these OS/Ortho appts? The

answer is because he will drill me with questions and I won't know

the correct answer.

If my husband had it his way I would've had surgery 2 years ago,

prior to my tmj splint therapy and 1 year ortho treatment because he

thought those were a waste of money and he knew that I needed surgery

(because he's an expert - whatever). He won't acknowledge that I

needed the splint and ortho prior to surgery to prepare me for

surgery and for trying to rule out surgery.

I logon to this support site daily for my emotional support because I

am not getting it at home. I've said this is past posts, my parents

and siblings who live in a different state don't understand the need

for this surgery, my husband says that he is supportive but he

doesn't speak or act like he is, and I don't expect my kids to be my

support system because I am their support system. I don't get

emotional support from people at work or church, and I don't have

other friends (too busy working, being a mother and wife). Luckily

this support site and OSS2 site exist.

Thank you for listening and giving opinions. I appreciate it!

~

PS. I am hoping my husband will let me cry on his shoulder later

today - without giving me his 2-cents worth. I also hope that during

the week he is taking care of me after surgery, that I am not relly

taking care of him and the kids.

> , if you wanna cry, cry. No harm in that. It is not at all

> unusual to have volatile emotions both before and after these

> procedures.

>

> Your best step, I think, is to keep remembering that you trust your

> experts, and have put your confidence in them.

>

> > My husband was leaning toward having me get both

> > upper and lower because he didn't want to look at slanted teeth

> when

> > looking at me.

>

> Forgive me if this is answering more than you asked, but that

sounds

> like something that would have really made me mad, had it happened

to

> me. Your husband wants you to have more surgery than your doctors

> recommend, because he doesn't want to look at slanted teeth?????

> Huh????? What if you had NO teeth?

>

> That just doesn't sound particularly kind or supportive to me, and

it

> also sounds to me as though he thinks that these procedures are

> purely cosmetic, which they seldom are -- although I find no fault

> with cosmetic procedures, mind you. If I am being unduly critical,

> please forgive me. I don't mean to butt into your business, or

> disrupt your family peace. I just hope that he will find nicer and

> more constructive things to say to you from here on.

>

> cammie