Hi, I'm new to the group!

October 17, 2002

> I don't see people reaching out to 'new' people very effectively which may

account for the lack of more people posting to the group. But given that I

still feel like I am on the outside looking in more often than not, I am not

surprised that more newbies don't become more vocal.

>>>

because of the settings on the group, responses can go to the 'sender'

privately which is typically how I respond to keep the chit chat down which

the moderators asked for many many months ago. to me a 'welcome' is a

private thing unless there are other questions being answered as well that

all would benefit from. I don't think you can judge the whole group by what

you read necessarily because there is a lot of private mail flowing too. and

like in society whether it is a civic org, church group, whatever -

sometimes you get the impression you dont' fit but until you make the effort

you'll never know - there are a couple thousand people on this list but you

basically see the same 50 or so responding. we are what we make it. we can

either observe or participate. I don't see it as a good thing or a bad thing

necessarily since some play the sports and some watch the sports so the same

holds true here.

sue

October 17, 2002

Martha,

There are tons of local support groups and I don't think there's any

excuse for not starting one if a person is not close to a group or

doesn't like the groups that are out there. I started a WLS support

group in May of 2001 that now has well over 200 members and has had more

than 750 unique individuals at our meetings and websites.

Time-consuming? Yes. Difficult? No. Though it's become more so as we

work towards obtaining our 501©(3) status so we can do grant-writing

and take on some big projects, forming a support group in one's living

room or public library is a simple thing to do, with huge payoffs for

all who are involved.

In addition, there are literally more than 200 OSSG groups of all

stripes and flavors, fresh posties, off-track, at goal, bandsters, gay

and lesbian, singles, divorcees, Christians, etc, etc. Someone who says

they can't find a post-op Yahoo group for themselves has not looked,

probably at all. Just enter " OSSG " or " WLS " into the Yahoo groups search

box, and you'll find groups aplenty. :-)

As far as welcoming new members, sure, we could probably do better. But

I also think that the perception of " popular " people is probably

mistaken; those that are well-known are well-known because they've done

lots of research and share that knowledge here and in other places,

and/or they reach out to others often. Wallflowers aren't going to get

much recognition; you have to introduce yourself and then leap into the

conversation if it's interesting to you. Then the recognition and

friendships will come naturally. JMHO.

Ziobro (was Moseley)

Open RNY 09/17/01

Plastics 07/22/02

310/133/125

http://www.ziobro.us

Re: Hi, I'm new to the group!

Randy and all,

I understand. But I think there should be a place for new patients to go

to have a voice before they are a year out. I am looking into that. Does

anyone have any suggestions?

I didn't mean to get upset in my last post so hope all will forgive me.

But everyone needs support and if this group isn't the outlet, we need

to make sure there is one for all.

Thanks,

Martha H

Hill Ca

RNY Proximal 1983

RNY Revision Distal 11/29/2001

327/187/Goal?

October 20, 2002

Martha,

I have been a member of this group for almost two years _ I read

everyday, but post less frequently - either when I have a very specific

answer that might help people, or if I have a question. I also often

e-mail people privately. I most say I disagree with you very much - I

find this group incredibly helpful. I've been amazed and gratified that

whenever I've had a problem, or needed specific information, so many

people have taken the time to write back with answers, encouragement,

ideas of how to help. Maybe I don't take the time to welcome every

newcomer - I really don't have the time to do that, but I (and many,

many other people on the list) do take the time to offer help and advise

whenever I can - isn't that what the list should be for? I find the

idea that you think there is an " in-group " on the list kind of funny -

there certainly are certainly people who post every single day,

sometimes several times a day, and that is an option that is available

to everyone who has the time to do as much.....

> " But just the fact that I have posted many times and still must put my WLS

pedigree after my name is evidence to me that I am not yet recognized as an

active member of the group. "

>

I also want to respond to the above - I post my surgery date and weight,

not because I am not for recognition on way or the other, but because I

hope that it helps others put my experiences in context, without having

to re-type " I am almost three years out and have lost 180 pounds, and

this is how I deal with this problem.... " kind of post. I enjoy reading

other people's statistics, and take inspiration from those who post

long-term weight losses, and relate to others who are struggling as I am

after almost three years.

My point is that you can get so much wonderful advise and support out

from this group. There will always be people and things that you don't

agree with, but that is the beauty of the internet and the delete

button. I can't imagine getting through my three years without this

list and the love and support I received here.....

Helene

RNY 12/22/99

350/170

October 20, 2002