To Cammie -- Re: Surgical Hooks and Wires - Less Confused - More Emotional

[Guest guest]

I am relieved not to have given offense. And I'm glad to hear you're

seeing a counselor. Hope that will help the two of you work some

things through.

The many folks who share their experiences on this site are what make

it such a teriffic resource for us all. But I do think, particularly

with little ones around, you're gonna need some real-live human

support nearby, too. Have you considered hiring some help, at least

part-time, for a while post op? Might be a good plan.

Take care.

Cammie

> Cammie, I welcome your opinion and appreciate your support. I

don't

> take it as criticism.

>

> I have always struggled with my husband who is very controlling.

For

> example, my insurance would've allowed me to stay in the hospital

for

> up to 5 days after our son was born C-section after 30+ hours of

labor

> (Dec 11, 1999 @ 2am), but my husband had me come home about 30

hours

> later (with staples) because he missed me (and ) and the

hospital

> was 20 miles from our house. The nurse wrote " husband has control

> issues " in my medical chart.

>

> My husband is an advertising consultant but he thinks he knows

> everything, even more than my OS and ortho. It is embarrassing

when

> he argues with the doctors (and our marriage/family counselors). I

> ask myself " why do I allow him to attend these OS/Ortho appts? The

> answer is because he will drill me with questions and I won't know

> the correct answer.

>

> If my husband had it his way I would've had surgery 2 years ago,

> prior to my tmj splint therapy and 1 year ortho treatment because

he

> thought those were a waste of money and he knew that I needed

surgery

> (because he's an expert - whatever). He won't acknowledge that I

> needed the splint and ortho prior to surgery to prepare me for

> surgery and for trying to rule out surgery.

>

> I logon to this support site daily for my emotional support because

I

> am not getting it at home. I've said this is past posts, my

parents

> and siblings who live in a different state don't understand the

need

> for this surgery, my husband says that he is supportive but he

> doesn't speak or act like he is, and I don't expect my kids to be

my

> support system because I am their support system. I don't get

> emotional support from people at work or church, and I don't have

> other friends (too busy working, being a mother and wife). Luckily

> this support site and OSS2 site exist.

>

> Thank you for listening and giving opinions. I appreciate it!

>

>

> ~

>

> PS. I am hoping my husband will let me cry on his shoulder later

> today - without giving me his 2-cents worth. I also hope that

during

> the week he is taking care of me after surgery, that I am not relly

> taking care of him and the kids.

>

>