Re: Feelings, why do they need to konw

[Guest guest]

Of course it's right to ask a teacher. Ask right away! I would think

the teacher would be pleased to be given so much trust by you.

You want the person you are most comfortable with. That said, I would

think your parents are gonna have to know about this, sooner or

later, if only because of the expense of it and need for consents,

etc. That's a ways off, though, probably, and there's plenty of time

to sort that out, once you've figured out what you and your dentists

think you need.

Do you think you have too much or too little jaw? Do you know what

your ortho is getting at? There is nothing on earth wrong with having

some part of your body misshapen or not completely functional. You

did not make this happen. However, if you have a chance to make/let

it serve you better and don't take it, that's at best unwise...

And ask him more about what can happen when your bite is not

balanced. I am the one who, at 56, had no idea I even needed braces,

but was told by my periodontist that I could save my teeth by having

ortho and surgery. I didn't know that anything was structurally

wrong, but as she just recently confirmed, my bite was very

destructive to my teeth. So ask for more details, also what your guy

thinks of the possibility of your developing TMJ if you do nothing.

It may be that this surgery is not solely cosmetic after all -- if

you look into your future, and if that is what is indicated for you.

Good wishes to you. Get in touch with that teacher now, if you

haven't.

Cammie

> I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as I

> couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

> think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

> difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

> wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can bite

> ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

> I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

> talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he expect

me

> to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as

my

> old ortho left.

> I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to

ask.

> He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next app.

(

> as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

> that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is one

> person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has taught

> me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is it,

> they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

>

> Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I just tried to post a reply to you, but for some reason, it's not

showing up. I'll wait a bit and do it again, if it does not.

The main point, though, is that yes, it is absolutely OK to ask that

teacher, and he or she would probably be pleased and honored to know

that you trust him or her, and eager to help you.

Probably sooner or later your parents will have to know, because of

financial and legal concerns, as well as insurance. But you can sort

that out later. Right now, you need to find out what's up.

I think good dentists are careful of their patients' feelings, and

that's probably what your ortho was trying to accomplish, without

making you feel like an oddity. I know of one person whose ortho

showed him an album of photographs, asked him to have a look, and

suggested, " You may find some pictures in there that seem similar to

you, and I think you may understand. " I thought that was a kind way

to do it.

Of course, my ortho just flat-out told me, first visit, you need jaw

surgery. Your lower is too short for your upper. And after I read my

surgeon's insurance letter, I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame!

But they were right, and we got it all fixed, and my mouth is now

healthier than it has been in years.

Take care. Whatever your circumstance, there's someone here who's had

a more extreme case of it, I'll bet you. And we're there with you.

You're mighty young to be trying to go this alone...

Cammie

> I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as I

> couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

> think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

> difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

> wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can bite

> ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

> I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

> talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he expect

me

> to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as

my

> old ortho left.

> I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to

ask.

> He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next app.

(

> as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

> that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is one

> person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has taught

> me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is it,

> they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

>

> Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

In my medical experience, I've noticed that there are two types of

doctors: those with good technical skill but hardly any ability to

communicate with their patients on any level other than as patients

and those who have good techincal skills but also recognize the

interelation of the body, mind and soul. Maybe your new orthodontist

is just trying to open the door for you to talk with him about how

you feel about your appearance as it relates to changes that may

occur because of orthognathic surgery. This surgery is a major one,

and the more emotionally prepared for it that you are, the better you

will be in the long run. Also, even people who aren't comfortable

with their appearance pre-op still have a hard time getting used to

seeing a new reflection in the mirror. Maybe he is also trying to

prepare you for what you may see when you're on the other side. I

usually approach my patient/doctor relationships with the attitude

that I'd rather have my docs knowing too much rather than not enough

about me.

I don't feel I know enough about your relationship with this teacher

to offer an opinion in this case, but Cammie is right in that at some

point, your parent(s) or legal guardian will probably have to have at

least some involvement. A benefit of having someone with you now in

these early stages is establishing a support network for yourself

when you are recovering. If you take a parent or trusted friend or

whomever you are comfortable with, that person may be a blessing

after surgery as they would be familiar with the surgery from having

actually spent time with the surgeon - not depending solely on what

you've shared with them from going to your appointments by yourself.

Also, it's not unusual for surgery patients to have lots of questions

for their doctors. Maybe having a parent or friend along would give

you more perspective by having an extra set of eyes and ears with you

during your appointments.

Best to you,

> > I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as

I

> > couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

> > think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

> > difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

> > wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can

bite

> > ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

> > I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

> > talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he

expect

> me

> > to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as

> my

> > old ortho left.

> > I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to

> ask.

> > He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next

app.

> (

> > as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

> > that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is

one

> > person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has

taught

> > me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is

it,

> > they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

> >

> > Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

In my medical experience, I've noticed that there are two types of

doctors: those with good technical skill but hardly any ability to

communicate with their patients on any level other than as patients

and those who have good techincal skills but also recognize the

interelation of the body, mind and soul. Maybe your new orthodontist

is just trying to open the door for you to talk with him about how

you feel about your appearance as it relates to changes that may

occur because of orthognathic surgery. This surgery is a major one,

and the more emotionally prepared for it that you are, the better you

will be in the long run. Also, even people who aren't comfortable

with their appearance pre-op still have a hard time getting used to

seeing a new reflection in the mirror. Maybe he is also trying to

prepare you for what you may see when you're on the other side. I

usually approach my patient/doctor relationships with the attitude

that I'd rather have my docs knowing too much rather than not enough

about me.

I don't feel I know enough about your relationship with this teacher

to offer an opinion in this case, but Cammie is right in that at some

point, your parent(s) or legal guardian will probably have to have at

least some involvement. A benefit of having someone with you now in

these early stages is establishing a support network for yourself

when you are recovering. If you take a parent or trusted friend or

whomever you are comfortable with, that person may be a blessing

after surgery as they would be familiar with the surgery from having

actually spent time with the surgeon - not depending solely on what

you've shared with them from going to your appointments by yourself.

Also, it's not unusual for surgery patients to have lots of questions

for their doctors. Maybe having a parent or friend along would give

you more perspective by having an extra set of eyes and ears with you

during your appointments.

Best to you,

> > I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as

I

> > couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

> > think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

> > difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

> > wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can

bite

> > ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

> > I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

> > talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he

expect

> me

> > to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as

> my

> > old ortho left.

> > I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to

> ask.

> > He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next

app.

> (

> > as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

> > that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is

one

> > person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has

taught

> > me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is

it,

> > they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

> >

> > Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

Braken,

I think your ortho was justified in asking you to think about it some more.

Without knowing all the details, I can only make a guess, but since you said

there was nothing wrong with your bite, I'm assuming this is purely cosmetic.

If this is the case, your ortho would be taking a big chance making a change

without KNOWING how you felt about it. You must be straight up with him/her.

Tell your ortho what you've told us. The more upfront you are, the better it

will be for you. Being uncomfortable talking about it is no excuse...if you

find someone who does it without knowing how you feel, there's a BIG possibility

that your results will be worse that what you have now.

I don't know the deal between you and your parents, but as a parent myself, I

would be highly upset if my child made this type of decision without consulting

me first. It would be even worse if my child asked someone else to accompany

him/her (i.e. the teacher) rather than at lease asking me to go first. But,

then again, that depends on the relationship you have with your parents...my

children and I are VERY close.

Also, as Cammie stated...the expense of this surgery is astronomical...that is,

unless you are filthy rich at 17 (then it won't make a difference at all.) :-)

We're talking thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars here if you don't

have insurance that will pay for it.

Please think very carefully and very hard about this very long journey you're

considering embarking upon. It's not easy and, in my opinion, at 17 will be

impossible to do alone.

Whatever you decide, we're here to help in any way we can. Good luck.

Smooches

Feelings, why do they need to konw

I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as I

couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can bite

ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he expect me

to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as my

old ortho left.

I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to ask.

He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next app. (

as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is one

person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has taught

me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is it,

they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

Braken,

I think your ortho was justified in asking you to think about it some more.

Without knowing all the details, I can only make a guess, but since you said

there was nothing wrong with your bite, I'm assuming this is purely cosmetic.

If this is the case, your ortho would be taking a big chance making a change

without KNOWING how you felt about it. You must be straight up with him/her.

Tell your ortho what you've told us. The more upfront you are, the better it

will be for you. Being uncomfortable talking about it is no excuse...if you

find someone who does it without knowing how you feel, there's a BIG possibility

that your results will be worse that what you have now.

I don't know the deal between you and your parents, but as a parent myself, I

would be highly upset if my child made this type of decision without consulting

me first. It would be even worse if my child asked someone else to accompany

him/her (i.e. the teacher) rather than at lease asking me to go first. But,

then again, that depends on the relationship you have with your parents...my

children and I are VERY close.

Also, as Cammie stated...the expense of this surgery is astronomical...that is,

unless you are filthy rich at 17 (then it won't make a difference at all.) :-)

We're talking thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars here if you don't

have insurance that will pay for it.

Please think very carefully and very hard about this very long journey you're

considering embarking upon. It's not easy and, in my opinion, at 17 will be

impossible to do alone.

Whatever you decide, we're here to help in any way we can. Good luck.

Smooches

Feelings, why do they need to konw

I had an ortho appointment recently and my ortho decided that as I

couldn't tell him how I felt about how I looked, that I needed to

think about it somemore. He actually asked me if I noticed any

difference between the way I look compaired to my friends, and he

wanted to know how I felt about the way I look, as since I can bite

ok, the reason for surgery would be to change how I look.

I didn't tell him that I hate the way I look atc. cause I hate

talking about my feeling regarding my jaw. Also how does he expect me

to tell him what I feel even though I have only seen him twice as my

old ortho left.

I know I am going on for ages here, but I have something else to ask.

He also said that I should take my parents with me to my next app. (

as I am only 17) but then he added or a friend. Well the thing is

that I dont want either of my parents to be there, but there is one

person, but they happen to be a teacher at my school who has taught

me in the past. It isnt really right to ask a teacher to go is it,

they do know about the problem with jaw kind of.

Thankyou in advance fo any advice given.

[Guest guest]

But Smooches,

If, for some reason (say you yourself were worried, in ill health,

showing little concern, whatever) your child did NOT want you to go

to this appointment, wouldn't you prefer that he or she take a

trusted adult (a teacher should be, at least, someone who has

demonstrated some trustworthiness with respect to his/her charges),

and find out what's up, rather than trying to go it alone? I think I

would, although I have no children.

I don't expect you have that sort of relationship with your children

and grandchildren, so it probably would not arise. But every family

is different, and as Tolstoy reminds, " All happy families resemble

each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. "

Similarly, if my child thought he/she had a disease, or ailment, and

for whatever reason, could not comfortably confide in me, I would

hope that he or she could find a professional, medical or other, who

could offer support and straight talk. Sometimes the fear of the myth

is far worse than the factual details, and sometimes lack of

knowledge interferes with treatment of things that ail us.

Cammie

>

> Braken,

>

> I think your ortho was justified in asking you to think about it

some more. Without knowing all the details, I can only make a guess,

but since you said there was nothing wrong with your bite, I'm

assuming this is purely cosmetic. If this is the case, your ortho

would be taking a big chance making a change without KNOWING how you

felt about it. You must be straight up with him/her. Tell your

ortho what you've told us. The more upfront you are, the better it

will be for you. Being uncomfortable talking about it is no

excuse...if you find someone who does it without knowing how you

feel, there's a BIG possibility that your results will be worse that

what you have now.

>

> I don't know the deal between you and your parents, but as a parent

myself, I would be highly upset if my child made this type of

decision without consulting me first. It would be even worse if my

child asked someone else to accompany him/her (i.e. the teacher)

rather than at lease asking me to go first. But, then again, that

depends on the relationship you have with your parents...my children

and I are VERY close.

>

> Also, as Cammie stated...the expense of this surgery is

astronomical...that is, unless you are filthy rich at 17 (then it

won't make a difference at all.) :-) We're talking thousands, if

not tens of thousands, of dollars here if you don't have insurance

that will pay for it.

>

> Please think very carefully and very hard about this very long

journey you're considering embarking upon. It's not easy and, in my

opinion, at 17 will be impossible to do alone.

>

> Whatever you decide, we're here to help in any way we can. Good

luck.

>

> Smooches

[Guest guest]

Cammie,

I understand all this. What I'm saying is I would rather my child confide in me

first...give me the choice whether or not to say " yay " or " nay " . If I say

" nay " , then I have no right to be upset about the child taking someone else.

But, as I said before, it really depends on the relational situation between

this child and his/her parents/family members.

I understand, and it's sad that there are many children who understandably

cannot go to a parent with issues. In a perfect world all children would be

close to their parents and vice versa.

My children come to me for everything (there are some things I really wish they

wouldn't share with me, but I don't discourage them - LOL!)...but I raised them

that way from the start.

Braken - I just hope you don't try this alone, be it parent or teacher...please

take someone with you. Oftentimes in these situations we are so nervous and/or

scared that we miss a lot. The person you take with you may see areas of

concern that need to be addressed and bring them up for you...and if nothing

else, the moral support is invaluable. Good luck.

Smooches

Re: Feelings, why do they need to

konw

But Smooches,

If, for some reason (say you yourself were worried, in ill health,

showing little concern, whatever) your child did NOT want you to go

to this appointment, wouldn't you prefer that he or she take a

trusted adult (a teacher should be, at least, someone who has

demonstrated some trustworthiness with respect to his/her charges),

and find out what's up, rather than trying to go it alone? I think I

would, although I have no children.

I don't expect you have that sort of relationship with your children

and grandchildren, so it probably would not arise. But every family

is different, and as Tolstoy reminds, " All happy families resemble

each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. "

Similarly, if my child thought he/she had a disease, or ailment, and

for whatever reason, could not comfortably confide in me, I would

hope that he or she could find a professional, medical or other, who

could offer support and straight talk. Sometimes the fear of the myth

is far worse than the factual details, and sometimes lack of

knowledge interferes with treatment of things that ail us.

Cammie

>

> Braken,

>

> I think your ortho was justified in asking you to think about it

some more. Without knowing all the details, I can only make a guess,

but since you said there was nothing wrong with your bite, I'm

assuming this is purely cosmetic. If this is the case, your ortho

would be taking a big chance making a change without KNOWING how you

felt about it. You must be straight up with him/her. Tell your

ortho what you've told us. The more upfront you are, the better it

will be for you. Being uncomfortable talking about it is no

excuse...if you find someone who does it without knowing how you

feel, there's a BIG possibility that your results will be worse that

what you have now.

>

> I don't know the deal between you and your parents, but as a parent

myself, I would be highly upset if my child made this type of

decision without consulting me first. It would be even worse if my

child asked someone else to accompany him/her (i.e. the teacher)

rather than at lease asking me to go first. But, then again, that

depends on the relationship you have with your parents...my children

and I are VERY close.

>

> Also, as Cammie stated...the expense of this surgery is

astronomical...that is, unless you are filthy rich at 17 (then it

won't make a difference at all.) :-) We're talking thousands, if

not tens of thousands, of dollars here if you don't have insurance

that will pay for it.

>

> Please think very carefully and very hard about this very long

journey you're considering embarking upon. It's not easy and, in my

opinion, at 17 will be impossible to do alone.

>

> Whatever you decide, we're here to help in any way we can. Good

luck.

>

> Smooches