Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and my children find comfort in--will be very different. How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 I lived with my face for almost 47 years, and I can relate to this feeling. I would recommend that you don't say anything, until you see where you are post-op, since you don't know what will really happen until it happens. Don't forget that a lot of the immediate changes are temporary, that they are as a result of swelling, and things will change over time, some dramatically, some fairly slowly. Here's some of the responses I got from family: My older brother, when he first saw me about 9 or 10 weeks post-op said " you look great! " . My brother-in-law, when prompted about what he thought about the change said " well, you'll just have to live with it " (he criticizes everything). My own brother and his wife totally ignored it, my dad asked them what they thought about the " stranger " sitting next to them. His young children seemed completely oblivious to any change, of course we only see them a couple of times a year and they have to get used to us each time (we live about 3 hours away). Over the course of that day, they tried to compare me to anyone and everyone, of both sexes, to see whom I resembled the most. All of my family agreed that they wouldn't have recognized me on the street out of context (this comes in handy, believe me, for people I run into that I don't want to talk to!). Yet I meet people every once in awhile who haven't seen me in a long time, and who have no problem recognizing me, so go figure! I guessed that it might be my voice, but that changed a bit post-op too, so perhaps it is my mannerisms or something like that. My husband said I looked pretty awful the day of surgery (I scared my colleagues at work by e-mailing them a photo after a few weeks), but that by the next day I looked much better. Best advice I can give there is just to ignore people's remarks (except the good ones, of course!) What really counts is what you think about yourself, and best I know, that's measured from the inside out, not the other way around. At least that's how it should be measured. Good luck with your surgery prep! > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 I lived with my face for almost 47 years, and I can relate to this feeling. I would recommend that you don't say anything, until you see where you are post-op, since you don't know what will really happen until it happens. Don't forget that a lot of the immediate changes are temporary, that they are as a result of swelling, and things will change over time, some dramatically, some fairly slowly. Here's some of the responses I got from family: My older brother, when he first saw me about 9 or 10 weeks post-op said " you look great! " . My brother-in-law, when prompted about what he thought about the change said " well, you'll just have to live with it " (he criticizes everything). My own brother and his wife totally ignored it, my dad asked them what they thought about the " stranger " sitting next to them. His young children seemed completely oblivious to any change, of course we only see them a couple of times a year and they have to get used to us each time (we live about 3 hours away). Over the course of that day, they tried to compare me to anyone and everyone, of both sexes, to see whom I resembled the most. All of my family agreed that they wouldn't have recognized me on the street out of context (this comes in handy, believe me, for people I run into that I don't want to talk to!). Yet I meet people every once in awhile who haven't seen me in a long time, and who have no problem recognizing me, so go figure! I guessed that it might be my voice, but that changed a bit post-op too, so perhaps it is my mannerisms or something like that. My husband said I looked pretty awful the day of surgery (I scared my colleagues at work by e-mailing them a photo after a few weeks), but that by the next day I looked much better. Best advice I can give there is just to ignore people's remarks (except the good ones, of course!) What really counts is what you think about yourself, and best I know, that's measured from the inside out, not the other way around. At least that's how it should be measured. Good luck with your surgery prep! > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, but > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of my > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People look > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird thought > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, and > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Thanks, . I am expecting some strange responses from certain family members, but I'll just ignore them. I checked out your pics, and you look great. I can't imagine saying " you'll have to live with it. " But you never know what people will say when they're surprised... I think maybe I don't want people to say much. Just " you look good. " I'm also secretly afraid that someone will go on and on about how much better I look, implying that I was ugly before surgery. KWIM? But, you're right, I think I won't say anything. Just see what happens. Eileen :-) > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Thanks, . I am expecting some strange responses from certain family members, but I'll just ignore them. I checked out your pics, and you look great. I can't imagine saying " you'll have to live with it. " But you never know what people will say when they're surprised... I think maybe I don't want people to say much. Just " you look good. " I'm also secretly afraid that someone will go on and on about how much better I look, implying that I was ugly before surgery. KWIM? But, you're right, I think I won't say anything. Just see what happens. Eileen :-) > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Thanks, . I am expecting some strange responses from certain family members, but I'll just ignore them. I checked out your pics, and you look great. I can't imagine saying " you'll have to live with it. " But you never know what people will say when they're surprised... I think maybe I don't want people to say much. Just " you look good. " I'm also secretly afraid that someone will go on and on about how much better I look, implying that I was ugly before surgery. KWIM? But, you're right, I think I won't say anything. Just see what happens. Eileen :-) > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 My kids (2 and 4) know I'm having surgery--there were many questions about why I got braces, so I told them. This weekend, I'll tell them I will be swolen and may look different, but I'm still the same inside--just with different jaws. :-) I was thinking of writing on a piece of paper the reasons why I'm having this done (so in the first few days, when I say " WHY DID I DO THIS? " I can say, oh yeah--so I can chew properly, not break my teeth, and not have jaw pain. And if I look better--awesome! :-) Eileen > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hi folks... Although I had almost no change in appearance from my surgery, I certainly can understand your concerns, and your worries that the changes you may experience will be difficult to manage. May I suggest that if you're having upper jaw surgery in particular, you will go through quite a few changes. The swelling can be -- well, evidence of the trauma your tissues, including bones, have gone through. Same about bruising. But those, while surprising and not easy to cope with, are temporary. If you have a big change in your appearance, whether you like it or don't (and most do! not to say that you aren't gorgeous before, though!) the fact is that you're the same person underneath. If you tell your children that ahead of time, won't it help them deal with the superficial changes? And if you tell them that the same mommy, daddy, sister, cousin, niece, whatever, will still be there, and still love them in exactly the same way, might that not be a good thing for them to learn? Suppose -- the Fates forbid! -- you were to be terribly bunged up in an auto accident, or badly burned, or suffer any such disabling troubles. They might have problems figuring it out (I would! -- the ancient question about why bad things happen to good people...) But would you worry because your appearance had changed? Or expect them to reject or misunderstand you? I'd think you'd be grateful to keep on going, and help them figure out (depending on their age) that the same sweet and loving person was still there for them, whatever the outer appearance... Just my notions. Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Humpf! Miz , I'd know you anywhere, before or after, even if we met along the banks of the Ganges at daybreak, or anywhere from here to there. You are still the same bright, sweet person. The external manifestations may have chaned, but the inward and spiritual graces remain the same. Even if you are up way too late, if you're still up and reading this message! Cammie > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Humpf! Miz , I'd know you anywhere, before or after, even if we met along the banks of the Ganges at daybreak, or anywhere from here to there. You are still the same bright, sweet person. The external manifestations may have chaned, but the inward and spiritual graces remain the same. Even if you are up way too late, if you're still up and reading this message! Cammie > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Humpf! Miz , I'd know you anywhere, before or after, even if we met along the banks of the Ganges at daybreak, or anywhere from here to there. You are still the same bright, sweet person. The external manifestations may have chaned, but the inward and spiritual graces remain the same. Even if you are up way too late, if you're still up and reading this message! Cammie > > Hello everyone. Like I said before, I'm scheduled for upper/lower on > > March 2nd. I think I'm pretty prepared for all the post-op stuff, > but > > the thing that is really freaking me out is looking different. My > > surgeon said I'll look fuller in my upper lip area, and the tip of > my > > nose will tip up a bit, and that doesn't sound like much, BUT when I > > look at people's pictures many look COMPLETELY different. People > look > > good post-op, and just about everybody--I think--has been happy with > > their physical appearance. I hope I am too, but it is a weird > thought > > that my face--that I've known for 33 years, that my husband knows, > and > > my children find comfort in--will be very different. > > > > How do I tell my kids, my family, people I havent' seen in a while > > about how different I will look? This is so weird to me. Thanks! > > > > Eileen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2004 Report Share Posted February 26, 2004 I am absolutely going to tell my children--absolutely. I will tell them I'm going to be swolen and brised, but I won't feel much (I *gotta* say this since my son is a worrier) because I'll be numb. I'm going to say that I'm going to look a little different--my lower jaw will be further back (he already knows that part) and I guess I'll tell him that my nose will look a little different. And I'll tell him that I'm going to look different week to week, because of the swelling. I also told all this to my huband and mother (my hubby has seen some pics on this site). And I will emphasize that I'll still be mommy inside--regarless of what my cheeks and nose look like. The source of my wonderings on this was whether I should tell cousins, uncles, neighbors, playgroup moms, etc. I've told everyone that I'm going to be swolen for a long while, but not much else beyond that. Coming down the home stretch! Final meeting with surgeon tomorrow! Eileen :-) > Hi folks... > > Although I had almost no change in appearance from my surgery, I > certainly can understand your concerns, and your worries that the > changes you may experience will be difficult to manage. > > May I suggest that if you're having upper jaw surgery in particular, > you will go through quite a few changes. The swelling can be -- well, > evidence of the trauma your tissues, including bones, have gone > through. Same about bruising. But those, while surprising and not > easy to cope with, are temporary. > > If you have a big change in your appearance, whether you like it or > don't (and most do! not to say that you aren't gorgeous before, > though!) the fact is that you're the same person underneath. > > If you tell your children that ahead of time, won't it help them deal > with the superficial changes? And if you tell them that the same > mommy, daddy, sister, cousin, niece, whatever, will still be there, > and still love them in exactly the same way, might that not be a good > thing for them to learn? > > Suppose -- the Fates forbid! -- you were to be terribly bunged up in > an auto accident, or badly burned, or suffer any such disabling > troubles. They might have problems figuring it out (I would! -- the > ancient question about why bad things happen to good people...) But > would you worry because your appearance had changed? Or expect them > to reject or misunderstand you? I'd think you'd be grateful to keep > on going, and help them figure out (depending on their age) that the > same sweet and loving person was still there for them, whatever the > outer appearance... > > Just my notions. > > Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2004 Report Share Posted February 26, 2004 I am absolutely going to tell my children--absolutely. I will tell them I'm going to be swolen and brised, but I won't feel much (I *gotta* say this since my son is a worrier) because I'll be numb. I'm going to say that I'm going to look a little different--my lower jaw will be further back (he already knows that part) and I guess I'll tell him that my nose will look a little different. And I'll tell him that I'm going to look different week to week, because of the swelling. I also told all this to my huband and mother (my hubby has seen some pics on this site). And I will emphasize that I'll still be mommy inside--regarless of what my cheeks and nose look like. The source of my wonderings on this was whether I should tell cousins, uncles, neighbors, playgroup moms, etc. I've told everyone that I'm going to be swolen for a long while, but not much else beyond that. Coming down the home stretch! Final meeting with surgeon tomorrow! Eileen :-) > Hi folks... > > Although I had almost no change in appearance from my surgery, I > certainly can understand your concerns, and your worries that the > changes you may experience will be difficult to manage. > > May I suggest that if you're having upper jaw surgery in particular, > you will go through quite a few changes. The swelling can be -- well, > evidence of the trauma your tissues, including bones, have gone > through. Same about bruising. But those, while surprising and not > easy to cope with, are temporary. > > If you have a big change in your appearance, whether you like it or > don't (and most do! not to say that you aren't gorgeous before, > though!) the fact is that you're the same person underneath. > > If you tell your children that ahead of time, won't it help them deal > with the superficial changes? And if you tell them that the same > mommy, daddy, sister, cousin, niece, whatever, will still be there, > and still love them in exactly the same way, might that not be a good > thing for them to learn? > > Suppose -- the Fates forbid! -- you were to be terribly bunged up in > an auto accident, or badly burned, or suffer any such disabling > troubles. They might have problems figuring it out (I would! -- the > ancient question about why bad things happen to good people...) But > would you worry because your appearance had changed? Or expect them > to reject or misunderstand you? I'd think you'd be grateful to keep > on going, and help them figure out (depending on their age) that the > same sweet and loving person was still there for them, whatever the > outer appearance... > > Just my notions. > > Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2004 Report Share Posted February 26, 2004 I am absolutely going to tell my children--absolutely. I will tell them I'm going to be swolen and brised, but I won't feel much (I *gotta* say this since my son is a worrier) because I'll be numb. I'm going to say that I'm going to look a little different--my lower jaw will be further back (he already knows that part) and I guess I'll tell him that my nose will look a little different. And I'll tell him that I'm going to look different week to week, because of the swelling. I also told all this to my huband and mother (my hubby has seen some pics on this site). And I will emphasize that I'll still be mommy inside--regarless of what my cheeks and nose look like. The source of my wonderings on this was whether I should tell cousins, uncles, neighbors, playgroup moms, etc. I've told everyone that I'm going to be swolen for a long while, but not much else beyond that. Coming down the home stretch! Final meeting with surgeon tomorrow! Eileen :-) > Hi folks... > > Although I had almost no change in appearance from my surgery, I > certainly can understand your concerns, and your worries that the > changes you may experience will be difficult to manage. > > May I suggest that if you're having upper jaw surgery in particular, > you will go through quite a few changes. The swelling can be -- well, > evidence of the trauma your tissues, including bones, have gone > through. Same about bruising. But those, while surprising and not > easy to cope with, are temporary. > > If you have a big change in your appearance, whether you like it or > don't (and most do! not to say that you aren't gorgeous before, > though!) the fact is that you're the same person underneath. > > If you tell your children that ahead of time, won't it help them deal > with the superficial changes? And if you tell them that the same > mommy, daddy, sister, cousin, niece, whatever, will still be there, > and still love them in exactly the same way, might that not be a good > thing for them to learn? > > Suppose -- the Fates forbid! -- you were to be terribly bunged up in > an auto accident, or badly burned, or suffer any such disabling > troubles. They might have problems figuring it out (I would! -- the > ancient question about why bad things happen to good people...) But > would you worry because your appearance had changed? Or expect them > to reject or misunderstand you? I'd think you'd be grateful to keep > on going, and help them figure out (depending on their age) that the > same sweet and loving person was still there for them, whatever the > outer appearance... > > Just my notions. > > Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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