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I have the same problem. I have a negative sex drive now, and I had thought it

would be just the opposite after I lost the weight. I spoke to my [female] gyn

about it. Hormone tests are fine. she was pretty unsympatietic - basically

said most women feel that way, she hears it all the time.... I am very

frustrated, and very sorry for my husband....

Helene

RNY 12/22/99

350/170

>

> Date: 2002/08/23 Fri AM 10:04:20 CDT

> To: Graduate-OSSG

> Subject: WLS and sexual hormones?

>

> Hi all,

>

> I have a question for anyone who might shed some light on this subject for me.

I've

> found that recently (14 months post op) I'm not nearly as interested in sex as

I used to

> be just months post op, I'll be 41 in OCT, isn't this suppose to be the prime

of our lives

> for woman in that age area?. Nothing has changed in my marriage, it's great

after 22

> years, but I seriously think I'm lacking some type of hormone or I need viagra

for

> women LOL! I hate to make light of it, but my husband is questioning me on

why " I "

> never wanna " do it " anymore. I still have more weight to lose, (bout 75 lbs

> realistically), but we never had huge issues with this before when I was much

heavier.

> Is there any hormone therapy out there or med's for this? Does it have to do

with the

> weight loss? I'm thinking it does, but I just don't know how it relates to

that type of

> hormone in my body. I don't know where else to go to find this out, except a

medical Dr.

> and I doubt he would know about the effects on sexual hormones in WLS

patients, so I

> thought I'd start here, sorry if this is out of the scope of our group. Help!

>

> Thanks,

> Sheila

> RNY 6/27/01

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

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Hey All,

I don't think this is out of the scope of discussion -- I bet all of us

have experienced changes since surgery -- seems like during my fast WL

period my hormones (sex drive ones) must have been on a roller-coaster in a

big way and since I've been maintaining -- those hormones seem to be leveled

off at a good place -- not the to little or to much BUT I totally disagree

that it is a common thing for women (I'm 41 and would be totally angry if I

was told that...) I don't believe it is the way " most women feel " or most

men either -- I do believe our WL messes with our hormones and just because

they are " level " when they draw the blood doesn't mean they aren't going up

and down other times -- I guess it sounds to me like your gyn " lumped " us

all together and that feeling isn't a good one -- sounds like the " all fat

people are lazy.... all women feel that way.... " I just don't buy it.

hugz,

~denise *whose hormones still get weird from time to time!!!*

> I have the same problem. I have a negative sex drive now, and I

> had thought it would be just the opposite after I lost the

> weight. I spoke to my [female] gyn about it. Hormone tests are

> fine. she was pretty unsympathetic - basically said most women

> feel that way, she hears it all the time.... I am very

> frustrated, and very sorry for my husband....

>

> Helene

> RNY 12/22/99

> 350/170

>

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I have a question for anyone who might shed some light on this

> subject for me. I've

> > found that recently (14 months post op) I'm not nearly as

> interested in sex as I used to

> > be just months post op, I'll be 41 in OCT, isn't this suppose

> to be the prime of our lives

> > for woman in that age area?. Nothing has changed in my

> marriage, it's great after 22

> > years, but I seriously think I'm lacking some type of hormone

> or I need viagra for

> > women LOL! I hate to make light of it, but my husband is

> questioning me on why " I "

> > never wanna " do it " anymore. I still have more weight to lose,

> (bout 75 lbs

> > realistically), but we never had huge issues with this before

> when I was much heavier.

> > Is there any hormone therapy out there or med's for this? Does

> it have to do with the

> > weight loss? I'm thinking it does, but I just don't know how

> it relates to that type of

> > hormone in my body. I don't know where else to go to find this

> out, except a medical Dr.

> > and I doubt he would know about the effects on sexual hormones

> in WLS patients, so I

> > thought I'd start here, sorry if this is out of the scope of

> our group. Help!

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Sheila

> > RNY 6/27/01

> >

> >

> > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> >

> > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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I'd find a doctor that will listen to you.....I believe we all go through

this depleted stage, even though tests may fall in the " normal " range. I

started testosterone and it really helped. I went to a progressive

anti-aging doctor....most wouldn't prescribe anything if your in the

" normal " range. I actually think women need testosterone as well, although

I'm not a doctor.

This is right on subject for this group since so many of us have been

through it.

I think DHEA is a precursor to testosterone, but I'm in way over my head.

RNY April 1998

WLS and sexual hormones?

> Hi all,

>

> I have a question for anyone who might shed some light on this subject for

me. I've

> found that recently (14 months post op) I'm not nearly as interested in

sex as I used to

> be just months post op,

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Helene, I have had this same complaint for a long time now. Used to

complain to my male family practice Doc, but he never wanted to listen

to me. I had a change of Docs this year (good old Navy.....they just

LOVE having me train their new Docs) and this time I got a woman. I

complained to her about three months ago.......YET again! We addressed

my sleeping problem. OK....got that Fixed, but the old Sex drive is

totally NON existent. Went back to see her because of that and because

of my kidney problems........complained ONCE again. She had said it

might be because of depression.......ok tried non-medical stuff for that

and still nothing. Saw her this time and complained. What she said made

sense. I told her I had been complaining about this for about a YEAR now

and that NO ONE is listening! She said that Doctors don't know how to

treat sexual dysfunction in women. That sinuses were easier, so most

Docs would prefer NOT to address the problem. She did ask me how orgasms

were alone. When I said they were non exsitent also then she gave me a

prescription for Wellbutrin.....said she called it Sex, Drugs, Rock and

Roll. Sex......because it was least likely to affect sexual function of

most of the depression drugs; Drugs because it was also the least likely

to interfere with other meds; and Rock and Roll because once you got to

feeling better you would be more inclined to ROCK AND ROLL!!!!! She did

say that she felt that intimate sexual relations were important to a

persons mental health, but that is was something that most Doctors just

did NOT know how to address. So will let you know if things start to

rock and roll!

Debbie in Gig Harbor

ladybostons@...

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I know it seems a matter of course in live support groups. Depletion of all

that estrogen in the fat or something.... Even still, it seems boys & girls

both. My doc used to give shots.... they do something else now.

My PCP tested Don & his blood levels were actually low. Interesting. His

idea, too. Wow. Shots.

Thanks,

Vitalady T

www.vitalady.com

WLS and sexual hormones?

> Hi all,

>

> I have a question for anyone who might shed some light on this subject for

me. I've

> found that recently (14 months post op) I'm not nearly as interested in

sex as I used to

> be just months post op, I'll be 41 in OCT, isn't this suppose to be the

prime of our lives

> for woman in that age area?. Nothing has changed in my marriage, it's

great after 22

> years, but I seriously think I'm lacking some type of hormone or I need

viagra for

> women LOL! I hate to make light of it, but my husband is questioning me

on why " I "

> never wanna " do it " anymore. I still have more weight to lose, (bout 75

lbs

> realistically), but we never had huge issues with this before when I was

much heavier.

> Is there any hormone therapy out there or med's for this? Does it have to

do with the

> weight loss? I'm thinking it does, but I just don't know how it relates

to that type of

> hormone in my body. I don't know where else to go to find this out, except

a medical Dr.

> and I doubt he would know about the effects on sexual hormones in WLS

patients, so I

> thought I'd start here, sorry if this is out of the scope of our group.

Help!

>

> Thanks,

> Sheila

> RNY 6/27/01

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

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In a message dated 8/23/2002 5:34:38 PM Central Daylight Time,

maryhan@... writes:

> sex-drive

Don't you think most of a person's sex drive is in the mind? I've always had

a healthy one...even when obese, although I couldn't participate as fully as

I wanted too. I was lucky in that my husband loved ME and didn't care about

the weight. But now it's all the more enjoyable with a new, more agile

body...plus my mind feels like I'm so much more attractive. My wonderful

hubby just keeps on loving me no matter what. Wow am I lucky!!!

Dianne :)

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I actually think women need testosterone as well, although I'm not a doctor.

I also suffer from low libido. (Like said above,) when I talked with my

gynecologist about this, she put me on a testosterone cream. I don't know if

it has really helped me much or not. It seemed to for a few months, but not

really as well as I had hoped. I do have plans to see a local doctor who

specializes in sexual problems (when I don't know, but soon).

In Charlottesville, VA

RNY w/ gall bladder removal, 3/31/99, 318

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In a message dated 8/23/2002 10:03:58 AM Pacific Standard Time,

datwell@... writes:

> I don't believe it is the way " most women feel " or most men either --

Whether you want to take her as an expert or not is up to you, but Oprah has

this topic as a recurring one on her show. They use the statistic that

40-50% of women feel this way. Not that they *should* feel this way, or

*want* to feel this way, but this is the way they actually feel.

Unfortunately, Dr. Phil always goes on to tell us it's in our minds and due

to relationship problems.

Kate

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Geesh! I thought it was just me! I am 19 months out and have a practically

non-existent sex-drive also. I had hoped that as I lost weight things would be

better and I would have more desire, but such is not the case here either. I am

not depressed. All my levels and number are right on. I have great husband

(quite attentive), great kids, great life! I have lost 145 lbs., down from 375,

so, at 230 I FEEL like I look GREAT (even if I don't!) :-) Most of my aches

and pains are things of the past. If anyone has an answer, bring it on!!! :-)

Sheila, this is not out of our scope. Thanks for mentioning it!

from MD

WLS and sexual hormones?

Hi all,

I have a question for anyone who might shed some light on this subject for me.

I've

found that recently (14 months post op) I'm not nearly as interested in sex as

I used to

be

Thanks,

Sheila

RNY 6/27/01

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> Don't you think most of a person's sex drive is in the mind? I've always

had a healthy one...even when obese,

>>

to some extent I will agree with that but being 4yr. out I can say that

during the first 18mo after wls I felt a lack of desire or need for

activity. after that it improved greatly while my weight was stable and

stayed that way and I guess all my organs and hormones got use to the new

me. around year 2.5-3 you couldn't keep me down. I felt like I was in my

prime for a woman and there just wasn't getting enough. but since I had my

hysterectomy that total lack of desire/need is back again.

and before everyone emails me to ask if I'm not on hormones, #1 I kept my

ovaries and #2 I refuse to take HRT because of breast cancer.

I'm just hoping with more time out from the triple anesthesia and surgeries

of march, april and may that my hormonal needs return.

there are some wild yam products on the market which are suppose to increase

the desire - I have not tried them as yet.

sue

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> Unfortunately, Dr. Phil always goes on to tell us it's in our minds and

due

> to relationship problems.

>

I bet everyone is just sitting on the end of their seat waiting for the new

dr. phil talk show to start this fall?!

sue

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Well, what an interesting topic...

I agree, with , that this is in the " area " of our

discussion group...Thanks :)

Being out 23 years since my RNY... I have had NO

sex drive depletion, either!

///Bob

RNY - 7/13/79

Re: WLS and sexual hormones?

> In a message dated 8/23/2002 5:34:38 PM Central Daylight

Time,

> maryhan@... writes:

>

> > sex-drive

>

> Don't you think most of a person's sex drive is in the

mind? I've always had

> a healthy one...even when obese, although I couldn't

participate as fully as

> I wanted too. I was lucky in that my husband loved ME and

didn't care about

> the weight. But now it's all the more enjoyable with a

new, more agile

> body...plus my mind feels like I'm so much more

attractive. My wonderful

> hubby just keeps on loving me no matter what. Wow am I

lucky!!!

>

> Dianne :)

>

>

>

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It was just the opposite with me...my first year out, we were like teenagers

again, couldn't get enough, then it faded. Now, 3 years later, practically

nonexistent. But, I'll be 50 next month, so I blame everything on

menopause...LOL I, too, won't do HRT because of breast cancer in the family,

so if anyone has any other ideas, I'm listening.

in NJ

*******************************************

In a message dated 8/24/2002 2:43:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

> to some extent I will agree with that but being 4yr. out I can say that

> during the first 18mo after wls I felt a lack of desire or need for

> activity. after that it improved greatly while my weight was stable and

> stayed that way and I guess all my organs and hormones got use to the new

> me. around year 2.5-3 you couldn't keep me down.

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Oh boy, don't get me started on Dr. Phil...LOL I call him a snake oil

salesman.

in NJ

*************************************************

In a message dated 8/24/2002 2:43:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

> Whether you want to take her as an expert or not is up to you, but Oprah has

>

> this topic as a recurring one on her show. They use the statistic that

> 40-50% of women feel this way. Not that they *should* feel this way, or

> *want* to feel this way, but this is the way they actually feel.

> Unfortunately, Dr. Phil always goes on to tell us it's in our minds and due

>

> to relationship problems.

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Well, certainly this is the case sometimes, but not always. I have always

been a very sexual person, never had a problem with that, but the last year &

a half or so, it's almost gone...not completely, but almost. Since I'll be

50 next month, that could be why, but it isn't like me and it's baffling and,

of course, upsetting to my long-term boyfriend. I haven't talked to my gyno

about it yet because I'm a little absorbed in the plastic surgery insurance

whirl right now, but once that's over, if this continues, gotta do something.

in NJ

**************************************************

In a message dated 8/24/2002 2:43:05 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Graduate-OSSG writes:

>

> I do have to tell you all I think that the mental aspect

> needs more attention a lot of the time. What are you doing

> to FEEL more sexy? Are you taking the time to dress the

> part? Are you reading erotica or romantic stories? Are you

> pampering yourself and allowing your mind to wander into

> sexual areas? Are you regularly spending time alone with

> your mate in relaxed settings? You say you're not in the

> mood for any of that? You don't have to be in the mood! The

> point is to put yourself in a place where you stand half a

> chance of GETTING in the mood. If you are dressing dowdy,

> focusing on the news and the problems of the world, running

> around like crazy trying to take care of everyone else all

> the time and only connecting with your mate when you hit

> the sheets at the end of a long day....it's no wonder your

> drive is suffering. Women come up with a million excuses

> why they aren't in the mood. I hear it all the time from

> friends. It drives me nuts bacause I know that most of

> these ladies are basically screwing themselves by refusing

> to do anything to change the situation.

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> datwell@... writes:

> > I don't believe it is the way " most women feel " or most men either --

> Whether you want to take her as an expert or not is up to you,

> but Oprah has this topic as a recurring one on her show. They use the

statistic that

> 40-50% of women feel this way.<<<

I think what I " read " into the gyn's statement is that " most women feel

this way... " (so stop complaining, get used to it / get over it / this it

just the way your going to be) I was reading between the lines in what was

said and what I " heard "

If that statistic is close to true is it the same for men? Or is this just

a " woman " thing and if it is a woman thing then why do so many doctors and

pharmaceutical companies " treat " sexual dysfunction in men and not so much

in women at all?

>>Unfortunately, Dr. Phil always goes on to tell us it's in our minds and

due to relationship problems.<<

Maybe in some situations that is true but that can't be a blanket " truth "

since so many sexual problems are a direct result of a physical issue -- IF

doctors would bother to look deeper, more in-depth... someone mentioned

having an infection that once cured, the sexual function went back to normal

/ others can very well be treated with hormones and I'm sure their are 100's

of reasons besides " mind and relationship " -- not to discount that those are

IMPORTANT for us... they are -- but being physically healthy is equally

important.

hugz,

~denise

ps: to who said -- putting ourselves in a " sexy " situation with our partners

// I totally agree -- when I'm too tired to stay awake till 8 at night, I

sure don't feel sexy and when I'm so busy doing all my " to do's " and not

taking time for our marriage -- that does weigh heavily on our intimate side

of the relationship.

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>If that statistic is close to true is it the same for men? Or is this

just a " woman " thing and if it is a woman thing then why do so many

doctors and pharmaceutical companies " treat " sexual dysfunction in men

and not so much in women at all?

++++++++++Generally speaking, for men, testosterone in large numbers

prevents them from losing interest in sex. That is what keeps it a

physical thing for men and the lack of testosterone in women allows it

to be more of a mental thing for them. If a man is having loss of

interest in sex, they can usually pump up his testosterone and voila,

his desire is back. Along with that elevated testosterone comes excess

hair and a deep voice. The side effects of the hormone testosterone is

what makes it difficult to give to women in amounts large enough to

trigger the physical reaction to sex that men have. Now, if the guys

have the interest, but can't seem to " make it work " physically, that is

where the pharmaceutical companies step in to " fix " the problem for men.

For women, it is not so clear and concise. There are so many

variables and yes, a lot of women's' sexuality is in their minds.

Doesn't mean you have a bad husband. Sometimes life gets in the way. Too

much stress trying to be a full time wife, mother, career woman, ball

coach, exercise guru, and anything else that a woman, by design, tries

to give 100% of herself to. It doesn't leave much time, energy or effort

for something that takes time, energy, and effort. Until they learn to

clone us, so we can divide our responsibilities, this problem will

continue. The pharmaceuticals are working toward that I fear.

However, it is important to rule out any physical problems such

as diminished hormones or infections, before assuming the problem is

less physical than mental.

Michele (with one L)

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Actually, I've been reading a lot this year on human growth hormone and

other anti-aging stuff. I believe the hormone which stimulates the libido

for men AND women is testosterone, not estrogen, so the latest hormone

replacement controversy wouldn't necessarily affect it.

With women, the dosage of testosterone is miniscule. At any rate, I found

it very effective for me to get jump-started and was on it for many months

until a week or so ago. I'm stopping it for a while, among other things, to

see where I end up and who the chemical-free version of me is. I suspect I

won't go completely back to the " not alive " feeling I had before, but won't

be humping the arms of the sofa, either.

From experience and all of these posts, I think we can assume *something*

happens after a large weight loss.

in Austin

RNY April 1998

Re: Re: WLS and sexual hormones?

> But, I'll be 50 next month, so I blame everything on

> menopause...LOL I, too, won't do HRT because of breast cancer in the

family,

> so if anyone has any other ideas, I'm listening.

>

> in NJ

> *******************************************

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NO, I don't think sex drive is all in the mind - that's the whole problem, it's

not. I've always had a really healthy sex drive (love it!), enjoyed great sex

with my husband, who I love very much. I've always thought of myself as a

sexual

woman, even when obese. That's why it's so perplexing to find myself feeling

sexless now. If I believed it was all in my mind, you bet I'd be changing my

mind set pretty fast.

Helene

DianneOSU@... wrote:

> In a message dated 8/23/2002 5:34:38 PM Central Daylight Time,

> maryhan@... writes:

>

> > sex-drive

>

> Don't you think most of a person's sex drive is in the mind? I've always had

> a healthy one...even when obese, although I couldn't participate as fully as

> I wanted too. I was lucky in that my husband loved ME and didn't care about

> the weight. But now it's all the more enjoyable with a new, more agile

> body...plus my mind feels like I'm so much more attractive. My wonderful

> hubby just keeps on loving me no matter what. Wow am I lucky!!!

>

> Dianne :)

>

>

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In a message dated 8/24/2002 7:38:30 AM Central Standard Time,

dbandas@... writes:

> I found it very effective for me to get jump-started

I gotta tell ya truthfully , that would be the absolute reason for me to

get some testoserone as well!

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

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In a message dated 8/24/2002 7:38:30 AM Central Standard Time,

dbandas@... writes:

> I found it very effective for me to get jump-started

I gotta tell ya truthfully , that would be the absolute reason for me to

get some testoserone as well!

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

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In a message dated 8/24/2002 7:38:30 AM Central Standard Time,

dbandas@... writes:

> I found it very effective for me to get jump-started

I gotta tell ya truthfully , that would be the absolute reason for me to

get some testoserone as well!

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

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I've always had a really healthy sex drive (love it!), enjoyed great sex

with my husband, who I love very much. I've always thought of myself as

a sexual woman, even when obese. That's why it's so perplexing to find

myself feeling sexless now.

************************************

Oh that could have come from my mouth VERBATIM! It is TRULY a

frustrating problem as not even doctors seem to have a clue! I really

hate feeling like this.

Debbie in Gig Harbor

ladybostons@...

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In a message dated 8/23/2002 9:51:48 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

vze2ryja@... writes:

> have the same problem. I have a negative sex drive now, and I had thought

> it would be just the opposite after I lost the weight. I spoke to my

> [female] gyn about it. Hormone tests are fine. she was pretty

> unsympatietic - basically said most women feel that way, she hears it all

> the time.... I am very frustrated, and very sorry for my husband....

>

>

I was just the opposite... I WANTED " it " all the time when I had lost the

weight. I heard it was something about the seratonins that were released. I

am STILL that way LOL and my hubby just cannot believe that I'm beggin HIM

instead of him beggin ME LOL

6 1/2 years out

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I think that sex drive is NOT all a matter of " mind " over " matter " . My

husband is great, we've been together for over 25 years, my life is great,

my job is great, I'm not depressed, I like how I look (for the most

part)....BUT (and there's always a BUT) I have a low sex drive...always

have, always will, most likely. We've always been mis-matched in that

area....for the most part I could take it or leave it. Once I " get going "

it's enjoyable, but I have little desire to get started. I very rarely

initiate. I have considered trying " horny goat weed " or some other

supplement that is reported to have aphrodisiac properties, but haven't gone

there yet. If there is something out there that really works I'd like to

know. Have tried the estrogen/progestin creme but it doesn't seem to have

any effect either.

KC

> Don't you think most of a person's sex drive is in the mind? I've always

had a healthy one...even when obese,

>>

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