Re: Thanks ...more-Lara

[Guest guest]

Hi Lara,

I am so sorry that your Trey had to go through soo much. Is he having

any effects now stil? I am a preemie of 28 wks myself, but apart from

me not wanting to continue breathing the first night after I was

born, things seem to have gone smoothly. I am now a healty 32 year

old with a deformed cervix, but that is all.

I think you hit the nail right on the head when you say that in

addition to mourning you child, you mourn your dream of becoming a

parent. The latter is my biggest despair, next to the enormous grief

for my two angel sons. You miss your children and you do not know if

you will manage to fulfill your dream. I went to three different docs

after the death of our second son and each time my biggest fear was

that they were going to say that I should give up any thought about

having a child of my own. I specifically asked all three of them if I

should try once again. And Thank God they think I have a 80-90%

chance to succceed with the ab cerclage...

I hope you will succeed in having a brother or sister for your Trey.

love,

Ghislaine

Angel @ 22 wks 19/12/01

Angel Kamil @ 24 wks 01/02/03 failed emergency vag. cerclage

> Shona, I did not know that your 28 wker was a NEC baby too. Trey

> lost 15 cm of intestine,had an ostomy for about 2 1/2 months, then

a

> surgery to correct it, he is fine now, but what a rollercoaster.

>

> Someone who responded mentioned something about " the fear of not

> knowing if you will have a baby " I so can relate to those fears.

> Knowing what it is like to lose your first pregnancies and then to

> have a preemie, I take the NICU rollercoster ride any day. I

> remember not knowing if I would ever have a child, I think that was

> the worst for me. Its like you not only have to mourn the loss of

> your baby, but the loss of a dream to be a parent. My heart goes

out

> to all the mommies who have lost and have the fear of not knowing.

I

> hope this does not upset anyone, I just had to comment b/c I

> remember that being one of my fears. You know, I was always scared

> to go see a " new " specialst for fear that he/she would tell me to

> not get pregnant anymore. In fact during my pregnancy with Trey,

> when I funnelled the peri told me the pregnancy would not make it,

> the baby would not make it and for me to look at alternative

methods

> to being a mom, I came unglued at this FREAK. Well he was right and

> wrong, the pregnancy did not last but my son made it.

>

> Thanks for the responses, You know as much as I hate that people

> know how I feel (b/c it means you have lost due to IC) I am glad

> that there are ladies I can go to that understand me. My family

> really does not know where I come from. My dh does not understand

> the over whelming urge to have another child.

>

> Thanks Ladies

>

> Lara